


The Scientific Method

by AYeti



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, F/F, Internalized Homophobia, Maura uses the scientific method to determine if Jane loves her, Mutual Pining, Rizzles, Slow Burn, but I'm moving it here bc i don't really use ff now, like last march
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:06:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 57,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29319096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AYeti/pseuds/AYeti
Summary: During a high-profile interview, Maura is asked about the nature of her and Jane's relationship and makes an embarrassing slip-up due to her inability to lie. When Maura doesn't know how to respond she decides to turn to science to find the truth. Slow burn Rizzles, as always.
Relationships: Maura Isles/Jane Rizzoli
Comments: 44
Kudos: 105





	1. The Scientific Method

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on FF.net last March, but I'm moving it here bc I don't use that site so much anymore. I'm also going to be editing the chapters as I go along as an exercise in writing/editing, so it'll be a bit different. It'll probably have WAY fewer commas lmao.

_ “You seem to rely heavily on the Homicide Department. Care to elaborate on that?” Kitty, the news reporter doing a piece on Doctor Maura Isles, held the microphone out to Maura and she tried to ignore the camera as she gave a polite smile. _

_ “Of course. The work of the detectives is invaluable in what we do in the lab. Their assistance is immeasurable, as they claim mine is with their work." Maura responded easily, going into detail about teamwork and professionalism. She’d fielded the question hundreds of times, though the one that came after put her through a ring. Ring? Ringer? Maura wasn’t sure.  _

_ “It’s easy to notice that you’ve become particularly close with detective Rizzoli… is there perhaps a new romance budding between Boston’s favorite crime-fighting duo?” Kitty smirked at the almost imperceptible surprised look that threatened to overtake Maura’s face and the doctor simply had no idea what to do. She opened her mouth to deny it but her chest constricted at the idea. Denying it felt like a lie. She couldn’t lie, lest she break out in hives and faint on national television. Confirming wasn’t truthful either though, and Maura was confused by her inability to answer the question that should have been a simple ‘no.’ She forced the ever professional smile to return to her face before she leaned forward and spoke the last two words of her interview. _

_ “No comment.” _

* * *

Maura sat in her home office with several research tabs open on both her laptop  _ and  _ her desktop PC. She could not get her racing thoughts together. It was rare for her to be unable to rationalize what she was feeling, even rarer still for her to be unable to compartmentalize. She could not for the life of her get the interview out of her head. No matter what angle she analyzed it from or how she tried to explain her reaction to the questioning, Maura couldn’t dignify how hopeful Kitty’s question had made her feel. 

When Maura couldn’t understand something, couldn’t quite quantify it, she knew she could always turn to research. Hence the multitude of unhelpful tabs that mocked her from the screens.

It had been six hours since her interview had finished but Maura was still on edge. Research failed her in her quest to answer the question:  Why was Maura unable to form a definitive response? 

She rubbed her face and stretched her hands in the way she did after completing an autopsy, huffing at her monitors before shutting them both down. She finished the last of her wine and closed her eyes as she attempted to focus on the nutty undertones, but was doomed to remain distracted by her lack of hypothesis. She had received two incredibly unhelpful possibilities:

She could not respond because she simply did not know the answer,

_ Or  _

She could not respond because she  _ did  _ know the answer. 

Either notion left her more confused than she had been before she decided to attempt to explain herself. Maura scoffed at the paradoxical nonsense the internet had plagued her with. She had never before been so entirely frustrated by the ambiguity of the human mind. She rolled her eyes as she stood from her desk and angrily muttered toward Bass.

“This is why I prefer the company of the dead… and you.” 

Bass remained indifferent to her plight and she envied the pure Zen a tortoise must feel. Maura shook her head at her companion and made sure his latest favourite area under her desk was full of cactus pads and leaves to munch on. She made her way into her en suite to take comfort in the normalcy of her nighttime routine. By the time she tucked herself underneath the sheets of her bed she only had the energy to let one last fleeting thought drift through her mind before she started meditating herself to sleep. No doubt tomorrow, Jane was going to question her. Maura couldn’t hope to predict how her best friend would react.    


* * *

As Maura walked into the precinct she noticed immediately that there was a surplus of conversations that ended as she passed through the hallways. Even the patrons of the Division One Café were entirely silent as she ordered her usual latte. It was a strange feeling for her; she’d worked hard over the past few years  _ not  _ to be the center of attention or the object of ridicule around the building and was pleased that she’d been mostly successful. Beyond her colourful nicknames, Maura had hoped she would continue to be successful in that but it seemed her latest interview had added fuel to the fire. She recognized herself speaking from the television in the corner of the room and inwardly cringed as she listened to herself speak. 

“ _ No comment.”  _

The words were already beginning to haunt her. Several heads snapped to look at Maura but she ignored them as she paid for her beverage. She refused to give in to the desire to dip her chin and cover her face with her hair. Maura had grown beyond such cowardice and quickly resolved to hold herself with the grace and poise she had worked so hard to exude, even when she didn't feel it. That didn’t make her ignorant to the eyes following her as she left or of the hushed whispers that ensued a little too quickly after she passed by her colleagues. One thing Maura was now absolutely certain of: Jane was going to be  _ pissed. _

Maura threw her lab coat over her charcoal pencil skirt and green blouse combo. She would never admit it, but the lab coat gave her some semblance of courage and authority. She had chosen a pair of particularly severe heels in the desire to heighten her confidence and it had worked as it always did, but the sheer power she felt when she donned her lab coat was like a kevlar vest to shield her from the bullets of people’s ridicule. 

“Morning, Doctor Isles,” Susie Chang spoke from behind one of the lab’s microscopes. Maura appreciated the smile she received at the curt nod she offered her acquaintance and was glad the other woman seemed disinterested in talking about her interview. Or in anything at all. Maura wanted to give her mind completely over to the beauty of science as she awaited the inevitable wrath of her best friend. She was mostly successful, though Maura did count down the minutes it took for her to hear the telltale sound of Jane stomping through the glass doors of her morgue. One hour and seventeen minutes.

“No comment?  _ Really?  _ Maura!” Jane shouted.

Maura winced and looked up in time to see Jane throw her fists in the air. Tension rolled off of Jane in waves and Maura looked to her left to rally support in Susie, but all that was left was a swiveling stool chair. It squeaked simply to mock Maura, she was sure of it. She looked back to Jane who glared at her, daring her to defend herself before Jane said, “Wait, let me guess… you have no comment?” 

“Jane…” Maura tried to reason but no words other than her friend’s name seemed able to pass her lips. 

“Do you have  _ any  _ idea what this has done to my mother?” Jane said as her shoulders drooped in a classic Rizzoli fashion, ambling over to an empty stool and slumping into it with a sigh. “You imploded her brain, Maur. She’s lost it.”

“Jane, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make Angela react negatively, I simply-”

“Oh no! That I could handle!” Jane lifted a finger in a way that Maura had learned indicated that she ought to wait to speak. “If she was pissed, that’d be  _ fine.  _ I’m used to her disappointment! But she’s just so goddamn  _ happy!” _

“H-happy?” Maura repeated. 

“Fucking exuberant! I couldn’t even get a word in to correct her! She asked me when we’re adopting, Maura. Or do you think we should go through IVF? Because apparently I totally forgot about the fact that  _ WE ARE DATING!”  _ Jane covered her eyes with her hands and groaned up at the ceiling. 

“I don’t think I want children, Jane,” the words fell from Maura’s mouth before she thought about them and Jane’s head snapped up. Piercing brown eyes glowered at her.

“So  _ not  _ the point I was making…” Jane grumbled before she stood up and walked so that nothing separated them but the sleek, black countertop. “Why did you say ‘no comment?’”

“I… I don’t know!” Maura willed Jane to understand the simple truth. 

“What do you mean,  _ you  _ don’t know? You know everything!” Jane argued.

“I don’t know what happened! Honestly, Jane, I promise. Kitty was asking routine questions and then she took me off of the guard and it was like my mind was… buffering,” Maura looked guiltily at her friend and Jane’s glare lessened as her shoulders took on a less severe edge. 

“You buffered?” Jane repeated, the harsh gravel of her tone subduing into her usual low timber.

“I just didn’t know what to say and I didn’t know what  _ you  _ would want me to say and I couldn’t sit there and say  _ nothing  _ so I-” 

“Yeah, I know the rest,” Jane rolled her eyes and sighed in a defeated tone before she grumbled, “Somebody put a rainbow flag on my desk, Maura…”

“... at least everyone seems to be supportive?” Maura offered guiltily and Jane huffed at her. 

“Yes, thank  _ God  _ we have everyone’s blessing for our not real relationship.”

“How can I make it better?” Maura offered, moving around the table to rub her hands comfortingly up and down Jane’s arms. 

“We are getting the  _ greasiest  _ pizza I can find for dinner and you are  _ not  _ allowed to complain.” Jane began, and as Maura looked up at her expectantly, Jane continued her list of demands. “And I get to pick  _ both  _ movies, and I’m not sharing my chocolate ice cream with you today.” Jane pouted like a toddler and Maura’s nerves started to peel away from her. She could handle this list of demands. Jane still wanted to come over after work and that was all that mattered. 

“So you don’t hate me?” Maura asked and Jane’s entire body softened for a moment before she sighed. 

“No, I don’t hate you… but I am pissed as all hell and I want you to call ‘blood’ at the next crime scene.”

“Well, that’s pushing it a little bit, Jane-”

“You convinced all of Boston that we’re secret lesbian lovers, Maura. I think I deserve to see you squirm just a little bit,” Jane argued and Maura pursed her lips. 

“Fine, I can hypothesize that it _might_ be possible for an unknown reddish-brown stain to possibly be bloo-”

“Oh, for the love of- okay, you know what? Just the pizza. Just buy me a pizza and then everyone will forget about this whole thing and we can go back to normal, huh?” Jane threw her hands up in surrender and Maura nodded. 

“If that’s what you’d like...” Maura acquiesced and Jane turned to leave. There was a certain timidity to Jane’s usually confident strides and she hesitated in the doorway. It seemed Jane had something to add, but she simply shook her mass of curls as if clearing her head and walked determinedly toward the elevator. 

It was that hesitancy that Maura saw in her friend that spurred her to wonder if Jane was just as confounded by their relationship as she was. 

It was several hours later when Maura had the results for a case and in an effort to maintain an air of normalcy, she elected to deliver them herself. Maura ignored Susie's gaze and picked up the folder of results before pacing around the room for several minutes, muttering quietly under her breath. 

"Be a tortoise," Maura said, ignored Susie's grin, and took a deep breath before strutting purposefully out of the room. 

As Maura stepped off of the elevator and made her way through the halls surrounding the bullpen, she couldn’t help but overhear the loud voices emanating from the lounge. She stopped a few feet from the door when she heard detective Crowe say ‘Queenie.’

“I’ve been telling you guys for years! I knew Rizzoli was a dyke but I didn’t think Doctor Death was so adventurous… it’s pretty hot.”

“Ew, what the hell, Crowe? Those are my sisters!” Frankie complained and several other people laugh. 

“C’mon, Frankie, you must have known they were together, why don’t you give us the details?” 

“They aren’t together, Mason, and it’s really none of our business alright?” Frankie argued with someone else and Maura’s heart melted slightly at his protectiveness of her. Maura never thought she would find anybody that would refer to her so openly as his family. 

“I think it became everyone’s business when she said that in an interview…” Crowe spoke up again. “I mean, the way they walk around here, always touching each other and sharing  _ longing glances  _ over dead bodies…”

“Yeah,” someone else chimed in, “and Rizzoli’s always defending her if we call her anything but Doctor Isles." 

“Yeah, because my sister is a good person! Why don’t you try to be?” Frankie argued. 

“Nah, it’s cause Queenie’s got her whipped,” Crowe remarked and laughter bubbled up out of the room. 

“You’re all hopeless,” Frankie muttered and he suddenly walked out of the room and collided with Maura. “Oh! Uh, Hey Maura! Nice day, huh? Those the results for the possible murder-suicide?” Frankie made sure Maura was steady and then stood awkwardly, glancing into the lounge to make sure the conversation had ended. 

“Yes, but it seems there’s nothing to investigate as the autopsies concluded that both individuals killed themselves. Evidence is consistent with a suicide pact,” Maura corrected him and Frankie coughed quite loudly to cover the sound of a joke someone had just cracked in the lounge. Maura glanced at the door and back into Frankie’s nervous face. 

“You heard, didn’t you?” He asked. 

“It’s fine, Frankie. I’m sure they’ll forget about it soon,” Maura said as they began to walk away from the door towards Jane’s work area. 

“Yeah, well that doesn’t give them the right to talk about you or Janie that way.”

“I appreciate you sticking up for us… and for me. Jane would be proud that you stood up to your superior male colleagues,” Maura complimented Frankie and he humbly waved off her comment, though Maura knew how much it meant to him to have Jane’s approval. 

“You think those numbskulls are the  _ superior males _ ?” Frankie joked to cover his embarrassment at the compliment and Maura laughed. 

“Not in that sense, I simply meant seniority.”

“I know, I’m just joking with you,” Frankie nudged her with his elbow and she smiled at him. “You want me to give that to Jane? I think she’s interrogating a suspect in another case right now anyway. You can get back down to the morgue and ignore all the idiots up here.” 

“That’s very kind. thank you, Frankie.” Maura handed the file over to him and he patted her on the shoulder in the same way he often did to Jane before he turned and walked away from her. 

Maura headed back down to the lab with two new thoughts occupying her mind. The first was that even though multiple people in the building seemed to be focused on gossiping about her, the people who mattered to Maura the most didn’t care at all about the rumors. It made her incredibly happy to know that for the first time in her life, though she may still be an outcast, she finally had a group of people she was close to that would support her through it all. Susie had behaved normally in the lab, which was likely her way of quiet support, and Frankie had openly defended her against his peers. 

The second thought was about the comments she’d overheard from the lounge. It seemed that multiple people had noticed that Jane acted differently towards Maura than Jane did with anyone else. This caused Maura to assess Jane’s behaviour as well as she could from an unbiased perspective. She hoped that if other people could infer that Jane’s behaviour toward Maura was beyond the norm of friendship, then perhaps that was the reason she couldn’t deny Kitty’s question. Thus, Maura developed a question of her own and decided to use the scientific method to try to explain her relationship with Jane so that she could clear up the mess she’d gotten them into. With an invigorated sense of purpose as she walked back into the lab, Maura was able to compartmentalize her anxiety and focus on her work, electing to conduct new research when she got home for the day. 

* * *

Maura poured herself a glass of wine and sat at the kitchen table with her laptop open in front of her. The first step in the scientific method was to find a purpose or to ask a question. Maura reasoned that her inability to answer Kitty’s question stemmed from the fact that she did not completely understand her relationship with Jane, thus, the purpose. Understanding their relationship. 

Step two was to conduct research that would help acquire the knowledge to answer the question. With this in mind, Maura began to pull up as many peer-reviewed articles as she could find about the complex relationships between female friends and where the line was drawn between friendship and intimacy or romance. 

The third step in the scientific method was to form a hypothesis based on the information attained. As Maura read through article after article, there was only one hypothesis that she could reasonably form: her and Jane’s relationship went beyond that of the average friendship. 

As Maura decided on her hypothesis, her stomach fluttered and her cheeks flushed at the theory she'd formed. As she reached for her wine glass she dragged her fingers over her clammy palm. 

_ "Dopamine, oxytocin…”  _ Maura started to list the chemicals rushing through her body at the thought of her best friend and gasped when she realized that the concoction flowing within her indicated both emotional and physical attraction. Maura laughed at herself for being so blind to her feelings. It took overhearing Crowe and his band of neanderthals pointing out the obvious for Maura to realize that she was romantically attracted to her best friend. But how was Maura supposed to have known? She'd never had friends before. 

“At least now I know why I couldn’t answer Kitty’s question…” Maura muttered before she took a sip of wine to try to steady her nerves. Of course, Maura had always thought Jane was gorgeous and was never shy in telling her so, but it hadn’t occurred to her to think beyond a mere appreciation of the physical form because she thought Jane was straight. Now though, as she analyzed Jane’s behaviour over the years and compared it to what her research taught her, Maura was comfortable entertaining the notion that Jane might be attracted to her too. 

Maura closed the windows of her research and walked to her office to find an unused journal so that she could write down all the information she learned that evening. She wrote about Kitty’s question and her inability to respond. She wrote about how she learned why she couldn’t respond and she listed several sources of research that she had referenced that evening. Maura wrote her new hypothesis at the top of the front page and simply titled the cover ‘Jane.’ She flipped back through some of the pages that she wrote and decided to start a new section in the journal where she could dictate step four of the scientific method: Experiments.

Maura knew that if she were to outright ask Jane it was likely her friend would make a joke about it or simply run away. Maura didn’t have the heart to handle either of those scenarios, so she began to think of things that Jane did that went beyond the realm of friendship so that Maura could experiment with them. She decided to start with something small. If she was too obvious, she was sure to scare Jane off. Before she could decide on something her phone chimed. 

**Jane: Done work. If you want to order the pizza now, I’ll probably get there right when it does.**

**Maura: Deal… Movie?**

**Jane: How about we watch Jeopardy?**

**Maura: You complete me.**

Maura smiled down at her phone and put her new research journal in the top drawer of her desk. She called Jane’s favourite pizza place and made sure that no evidence of her new hypothesis was left anywhere Jane could find it. Just after she topped off her glass of wine and filled a second glass for Jane, her front door unlocked and opened. 

“Ugh, I’m  _ starving,” _ Jane exaggerated, crossing her eyes as she drawled out the last word. Maura smiled at her and handed her the glass of wine. 

“Pizza should be here any minute,” Maura offered as they moved into the living room. Maura smiled as Jane kicked off her boots and sunk into the cushions on her couch. Jane tossed her feet up onto the coffee table and grabbed the remote, flicking to the show they wanted to watch while taking a sip of wine. Jane caught her staring, and Maura was sure the look on her face could only be described as goofy, but she couldn't help it. Jane was so comfortable in her home and entirely too endearing. 

Mura had never expected a friendship like this, let alone the possibility of _more._

“What?” Jane demanded with a pout, despite Maura’s grin.

“Nothing, I’m just… I’m happy you’re here,” Maura admitted and Jane raised an eyebrow at her.

“I’m here all the time, Maur, how much wine have you had?” Jane joked. “You’re not going soft on me, are you?” 

Maura laughed and was grateful for the knock at the door. She’d take any excuse not to answer that particular question. She tipped the delivery boy generously and handed the pizza to Jane, who was immediately too distracted by the food to continue her earlier line of questioning. Maura was glad that they could just sit together as they always did, pretending to argue about who was better at the game show. Maura knew most history, etymology, and science questions but Jane could keep up with the sporting, movies, and actors categories. 

Maura, content to allot half of her attention to the show, frequently stole glances at Jane’s profile. Jane’s eyes lit up at a question before she pulled the pizza from her mouth and dropped cheese onto her shirt as she yelled at the television. Jane pumped her fist in victory when she was correct, but her winning grin faltered when she found Maura already gazing at her. 

“You staring at me for any particular reason, Maur?” Jane asked. 

“You have cheese on your shirt, Jane,” Maura deflected and Jane looked down. She picked the cheese up off of her shirt, shrugged, and ate it anyway. Maura had never been so utterly enchanted in her life. 


	2. Stage One: Experiments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maura begins to test her hypothesis with the help of Susie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maura and Susie are brotp ok. I love them.

It was a regular occurrence for Jane to spend the night at Maura's. As Maura woke up the following morning, she saw with new eyes how truly unique it was that Jane spent most of her time at the Beacon Hill home. Jane spent so many nights at Maura's in fact, that they had a usual routine that consisted of Maura waking up first to get breakfast and coffee started while Jane grumbled in bed for a few extra minutes. Inevitably, Jane would find her way to the kitchen and insist on helping, and Maura would insist Jane drink her coffee first to avoid the risk of Jane ' _helping'_ with her eyes closed and burning whatever Maura was making. It generally took Jane at least a few minutes of sitting at the island grumbling some more before Jane said much more than 'good morning.'

On that morning, Maura was particularly observant of their routine because Jane was breaking it. Maura had woken up alone just after six, smelled Jane's shampoo wafting from the en suite, and heard rummaging in the kitchen. Curious, Maura got up quickly and went to the washroom to start her day, where she realized for the first time how odd it was that Jane even kept shampoo at the Beacon Hill home. She took a moment to observe and smiled at the slew of personal items Jane had in Maura's home. There was the shampoo along with body wash and conditioner sitting on Jane's designated shelves across from Maura's fuller ones. Jane had a couple of other hygiene products on her side of the counter and Maura chuckled at the fact that Jane had a side at all. Jane had a toothbrush and her own toothpaste - which Maura had picked up when she learned that Jane had sensitive teeth. Jane even had a drawer to keep feminine hygiene products and other bathroom items. It suddenly struck Maura just how domestic their relationship was.

Smiling, and trying to keep her blush at bay, Maura made the bed and stumbled over Jane's slippers haphazardly left beside the bed. She slipped her feet into them and traced her finger along the spine of the book Jane had left on the bedside table, and Maura's chest ached because Jane felt just as home at Maura's as Maura felt with Jane. Though after all of Maura's research she analyzed that best friends wouldn't usually keep so many items at each other's homes. 

Following the sound of Jane's voice, Maure walked into the kitchen to find soft rock music playing quietly from the speaker. Jane nodded her head and sang along lowly as she pressed the buttons on the coffee maker and then turned to pour batter into a frying pan. Jane moved to finish the two mugs of coffee and turned to place them on the island, finally noticing Maura leaning against the wall watching her.

"Morning! Pancakes?" Jane offered as she pulled a stool out for Maura to sit on.

"Pancakes would be lovely." Maura smiled as she sat and Jane pushed a mug of coffee toward her. "Thank you, Jane. You're in a good mood this morning."

Jane shrugged a shoulder and turned to keep an eye on the stove. "Yeah, cause I actually got between six and eight hours of sleep, as recommended by… someone you once told me about," Jane joked and Maura chuckled.

"Any particular reason for the early morning boost of energy? You didn't take my advice and partake in morning yoga, did you?" Maura teased and Jane smirked at her.

"You know I didn't," Jane joked. "I was just up early and I figured I'd make breakfast since you got pizza last night."

"But I got the pizza as an apology for the interview," Maura stated in confusion. Jane placed a plate in front of Maura with two pancakes and strawberry slices on the side before turning back to the stove to finish her own food.

"I overreacted... " Jane admitted as she sat next to Maura with her plate. There were no strawberries, so Jane had cut them specifically for Maura and that wordless sweetness left Maura breathless. "Besides, I could do a lot worse than you." Jane nudged Maura with an elbow at the jest and Maura tried to smile despite her confusion at the remark. They ate in silence for a while until a thought occurred to Maura.

"Do I have a lot of personal items at your apartment?" She asked and Jane paused eating to raise an eyebrow at her.

"Uhh, I dunno…" Jane's eyes squinted to think. "I think you have a couple of outfits for when you sleep over, and your bathroom stuff. A pair of extra runners and that crazy expensive wine in the cupboard on top of my fridge you think I don't know about. Why? Did you want it back?"

"No, it just occurred to me this morning," Maura admitted.

"Alright." Jane shrugged and took a particularly large bite of pancake.

"Do you think it's odd that we keep things at each other's homes?" Maura prodded as casually as she could and Jane paused chewing for a moment before she shrugged again.

"Nah, not really. I mean it works for us, you know? Am I being too messy here? I can clean up my stuff better if that's what this is about." Maura couldn't help but chuckle at Jane's worry.

"No, you're fine, it was just a thought." Maura stood to bring her plate to the sink. She rinsed the dishes before she put them in the dishwasher and turned to find Jane looking curiously at her.

"You're being weird." Jane pointed an accusatory fork in Maura's direction and she laughed.

"You always think I'm being weird," Maura evaded the accusation, and Jane tilted her head and nodded.

"Yeah, because you always _are,"_ Jane joked. "You've never brought this up before and I don't remember you _not_ having a toothbrush at my place, so it's been a while. Does it bother you?"

"No!" Maura shouted and Jane raised an eyebrow at her. "It's convenient and I like the arrangement. I like that I have someone close enough to share my space with," Maura admitted and Jane smiled softly at her.

"Me too, Maur," Jane spoke in the voice she reserved for sweet moments and Maura felt a fluttering in her stomach that had occurred hundreds of times before, only now she recognized what it was.

"I'm going to go get ready." she walked out of the kitchen towards the hallway that led to the bedroom and paused to look back at Jane whose focus was back on breakfast. "Jane?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for the pancakes." Maura smiled and Jane smirked back.

"Anything for my _wonderful_ secret girlfriend, one doctor Maura Isles," Jane sassed in the sweet tone and Maura grinned before she went to change her clothes and do her hair and makeup. As she got ready, Maura tried to think of a subtle experiment she could try, but nothing came to mind until both women were leaving for the day. Maura followed Jane to the front door that Jane opened it for her, pressing a hand to the small of Maura's back before following behind her. Maura grinned as she realized it was a perfect first experiment.

* * *

As they pulled into their usual parking spaces along the road in front of the BPD, Maura rushed up the stairs to beat Jane to the door. Jane smiled in a curious entertainment as she walked past, and Maura took the opportunity to guide Jane through the door as Jane often did to her, lightly brushing her hand against Jane's back.

"Why, thank you, doctor Isles," Jane said flirtatiously. Although Jane didn't say anything else about it as they walked to their respective elevators, Maura did notice a slight blush had crept over Jane's cheeks and that Jane tried to hide a small smile. Maura grinned over at Jane as the doors to her lift dinged open.

"Have a nice day, Jane," Maura stated happily and Jane nodded with a smile of her own before the elevator doors closed. Maura pulled out her journal that she'd hidden in her purse and wrote the results down as the lift carried her to the morgue.

_Experiment One: Holding Doors Open_

_Data and Analysis: Jane's flushed cheeks and smile are indicative of enjoyment of me holding the door open and guiding her through it. She did not comment negatively and therefore, likely does not see the action as unusual, though it is arguably an act done in the courting process. Observation and reflection indicate that Jane only does this action with me and I have only done it for her. Based on the result I am inclined to repeat the action in the future._

_P.s. Jane is incredibly cute when she blushes._

_P.p.s. She would be very unhappy to read that._

Maura had been working with Susie Change for several years and aside from Jane, the senior criminologist was the closest thing Maura had to a friend. Though they mostly spoke about work, she and Maura had several conversations about various other topics and had seen each other during casual work-related functions. Although Maura was nervous about speaking of her research, she decided that it might be helpful to get an outside perspective, and she certainly couldn't ask Jane. Maura sat next to where Susie did bloodwork and decided that she valued Susie's opinion highly enough to ask.

"Susie, may I ask you something of a personal nature?" Maura requested and had to work not to chuckle when Susie froze slightly and turned rather animatedly toward her.

"Sure, doctor Isles…"

"I've been conducting a bit of informal research in my spare time and thought I might ask for your input on the matter," Maura explained and Susie visibly relaxed.

"Oh! yeah sure, I can try to help. Though I haven't done much personal research lately."

"I was wondering if you had any knowledge about how to tell the difference between sexual and emotional attraction to someone. The chemicals released by the body are almost identical and the physical symptoms are the same. Increased heart rate, sweaty palms, shortness of breath… I'm having trouble telling if a friend of mine is interested," Maura explained and Susie chuckled.

"You're not sure if your friend likes you back, so you're conducting research?" Susie reiterated and Maura nodded. "Can you just ask her? ...Or him… them, whoever?" Susie stumbled over her question and Maura considered it.

"No, I'm afraid she'll take it the wrong way or misunderstand. She's very smart but not particularly fond of these kinds of conversations and I'm not sure I understand my own feelings yet so I don't want to rush into things," Maura explained and Susie smiled.

"So you're sticking to science then?" Susie stifled a chuckle but seemed willing to help so Maura nodded. "Okay, well I find that with sexual attraction the person will be more physical… they'll hold your hand, stroke your arm, maybe lick their lips while looking at you, which I'm sure you know. Eye contact for more than six seconds indicates a desire for sexual intimacy-"

"Or a desire to kill," Maura interrupted.

"Or that… but if a person is emotionally attracted to you, they'll likely practice extra kindness toward you."

"Can you give me some specific examples or scenarios?" Maura asked and Susie grinned.

"Okay. Let's say this woman you're interested in likes you, which I'm sure she does, by the way, then she might… hold the door open for you or maybe even bring you lunch even though she has a busy schedule. She might go out of her way to make you laugh if you're not having the best day. She might agree to do things with you that she would otherwise avoid in an effort to make you happy or spend time with you… let's use yoga as a totally random example." As Susie listed, Maura concluded that Jane did everything from both lists. Although the thought excited Maura, she still had doubts. It was a possibility that Jane was simply raised to act in such a way.

"What else?" Maura probed quietly.

"She might be really protective of you and defensive if anyone else was disrespectful toward you," Susie explained patiently while she focused on the microscope in front of her.

"But how can you tell if she's actually interested or just… an incredibly good friend and a really amazing person?" Maura asked and Susie chuckled.

"Does she act the same with all of her other friends?" Susie prompted and Maura furrowed her brow.

"Not that I've seen," Maura admitted. Susie turned from her work to look Maura in the face.

"Well, then she likes you."

"Your arguments are sound but my anxieties are still intact," Maura admitted and Susie laughed while she shook her head before she turned back to look at the slide under the magnifier. There were a few moments of silence where Maura considered the new information before Susie spoke again without looking up from her work.

"You know... detective Rizzoli is always bringing you lunch… and defending you if people are rude," she spoke softly and Maura smiled slightly as she thought of all the times Jane went out of her way to make sure Maura was taken care of.

"I suppose so," Maura admitted with forced casualness. She saw Susie smirk slightly but wasn't sure why. "I appreciate your input. It will be helpful to have this perspective as I continue with my experimentation." Maura admitted and Susie laughed.

"You should see how she reacts to you doing things for her. Something small maybe, like holding her hand somewhere you normally wouldn't," Susie suggested and Maura smiled at her.

"I think I will. That's a very good next test to my hypothesis," Maura admitted, and then she walked away from Susie to write down some of the information she'd just learned before starting work for the day.

* * *

Jane caught a particularly taxing case that day so Maura didn't have much opportunity to see her for the following week. She exchanged several texts with Jane though, and they'd agreed that if Jane closed the case by the weekend, they would try to play tennis in the park near Maura's house. Jane showed up early and bounced loosely on Maura's front porch when Maura opened the door after having heard a knock.

"Ready to go?" Jane asked with a grin. Maura took a moment to appreciate Jane's tight tanktop and loose running shorts. She'd pulled her wild curls into a ponytail which accentuated her cheekbones and jawline and Maura smiled at how aesthetically pleasing Jane was to look at.

"Ready to kick your butt, Rizzoli," Maura corrected with a smirk as she tried her hand in competitive banter. Jane scoffed.

"In your dreams, Isles! I got legs for days and a wider arm span than you. Better reach!" Jane said cockily as she waved her racket around and Maura raised an eyebrow at her.

"You might have longer limbs, but I could argue my level of stamina is an advantage, along with my flexibility," Maura stated as she started to warm up.

"Yeah, well maybe we'll just have to test it out sometime," Jane spoke and Maura wasn't sure whether she imagined the flirtatious tone or not. It was difficult to tell because Jane had a naturally seductive voice. "I still can't believe you have a professional women's tennis uniform."

"Just another thing to add to my list of advantages. This is the optimal outfit for the sport." Maura smiled sweetly as they began to walk to the park.

"Yeah, I don't know who told you that, but obviously _they_ could lie," Jane snarked and she whacked Maura's butt with her racket, causing Maura to pinch Jane's side in protest.

"Why else would they have women compete in them?" Maura asked as Jane looked down at her outfit. Jane smirked at the visor and then full out laugh at the skort.

"They look cute?" Jane guessed and Maura chuckled.

"You think I look cute?" Maura teased flirtatiously and Jane rolled her eyes.

"Shut up," Jane drawled out. " _You_ said I was gorgeous. I'm just repaying the favor so you don't feel so ridiculous wearing a _skort_. Not very fashion-forward, doctor Isles," Jane teased to cover the compliment and then threw a tennis ball in the air to distract Maura before she raced ahead to the tennis court. Maura caught the ball and shook her head after her friend, smiling all the while.

In the end, Maura won the tennis match but Jane adamantly blamed it on the fact that she didn't have a visor to block out the sun as Maura did. They collected all of their belongings before sitting on the bench at the sidelines to rehydrate and cool down from their game.

"What does that cloud look like to you?" Jane asked as she pointed up into the sky.

"I would categorize that as a cumulonimbus," Maura stated after assessing the cloud for a moment. "Often referred to as thunderheads. They are formed from water vapor carried by powerful upward air currents and indicate an impending storm. I wasn't aware you had an interest in nephology!" Maura exclaimed at Jane's unexpected interest in studying clouds.

"Uh, no, Pointdexter, I meant what does it _look_ like…" Jane said with a raised eyebrow. "I think if you see the top left part as an ear and the long part on the right as a trunk, it kind of looks like an elephant head, right? Maybe a tea kettle." Jane pointed to different areas of the cloud.

"That's true!" Maura agreed. "I never considered observing clouds for the purpose of creating shapes… where did you come up with the idea?"

Jane gaped at her before asking, "You never went cloud watching as a kid? Me, Frankie and Tommy used to do it all the time after mass. There was a hill right behind the church that we'd go lay on and look at the sky. Sometimes Ma and Pop would join too. It was fun." Jane shrugged with a small smile as she looked at the sky.

"That sounds lovely, Jane," Maura admitted wistfully, envying Jane's childhood experiences.

"Alright, come on!" Jane stood and offered a hand to help Maura up before they gathered their things.

"Where are we going?" Maura asked as she was pulled from the tennis court and further into the park to a sunny area of grass. Jane let go of her hand and plopped herself down on her back before patting the ground next to her.

"Come on, your tennis skort won't stain that easily," Jane said as Maura hesitated for a moment before settling in the grass next to Jane. "Okay, look at the clouds and tell me what they look like to you," Jane suggested and Maura looked up into the sky, letting her eyes adjust to the brightness.

"Well, I suppose that one there looks vaguely sloth-like," Maura said as she pointed to a dark cloud, causing Jane to grin and chuckle.

"Nice. Okay, look at that one…" Jane pointed to another cloud purple cloud and Maura settled down, lying next to Jane before following her finger. "You see how the lumps on the sides could be ears, and the lumpy bits in the middle look like eyes and a nose?" Maura hummed in agreement. "Okay, now add a beard… look familiar?"

"Santa?" Maura assumed and Jane laughed loudly.

"No!" Jane chuckled out. "I was gonna say it looks like Korsak!" Maura joined in on the laughter and had to admit that there was an uncanny resemblance to the man. Hearing Jane laugh so openly made Maura's heart flutter in her chest and she gazed at Jane's profile while Jane looked up, hands tucked beneath her head. Jane occasionally glanced back at Maura, who took the opportunity to count how long Jane would look at her to test Susie's eye contact theory.

"You're staring again," Jane accused after a while. "Why are you staring at me again?"

"I'm counting," Maura informed Jane, who laughed.

"You are _so_ weird."

"So you say," Maura teased and Jane looked at her with a smile so Maura began to count.

_One... Two... Three... Four... Five... Six... Seven... Eight..._

"What are you counting?" Jane whispered, holding eye contact.

"Just… counting the seconds," Maura admitted and Jane's brow furrowed at the half-truth.

"Whatever makes you happy, I guess." Jane shrugged as she turned to look back up at the large, fluffy clouds in the sky. "I can't believe you've never done this before. I mean, your mother's an artist!"

"Yes, but I don't think it occurred to her to watch clouds for inspiration." Maura chuckled, also looking back up into the sky.

"I'm glad I get to do stuff like this with you," Jane spoke quietly as they watched the darkening clouds and move.

"Look at the sky?" Maura asked.

"Well, yeah, but I mean new things you didn't get to do. Things you might've missed out on otherwise. I'm glad I get to show you and see you experience it for the first time," Jane continued in her quiet tone. Maura knew that tone was reserved for their secret, more intimate discussions, and was enamored by Jane's tender sweetness that so few people got to see. Maura decided to take that moment to glance down at Jane's hand and she stretched her fingers through the grass to lace their fingers together before she responded.

"Thank you, Jane," Maura whispered and a blush crept across Jane's cheeks. "There's no one else I'd rather share it with." 

Jane squeezed her hand tightly and where they would usually let go, neither made a move to pull away. They spent long minutes in the warm grass, hands clasped together while they looked up into the sky and listened to the sounds of the birds and families that surrounded them.

Eventually, Jane's stomach growled and Maura realized that she was also quite hungry.

"Bet you can't guess if that rumble was the sky or my stomach," Jane teased and Maura chuckled. Maura let go of Jane's hand and pinched her in the side. "Hey!" Jane smacked Maura's hand away as she sat up.

"It wasn't the sky, there hasn't been any thunder or lightning all day-"

As soon as the words escaped Maura's mouth a loud crack of thunder rolled through the sky causing both women's eyes to widen.

"Okay, now _that one_ should tell you how hungry I am right now," Jane joked and nudged Maura playfully as light sprinkles of rain began to fall.

"That sushi place you like is only a couple of blocks away, would you like to go there to eat?" Maura offered as she began to sit up.

"Yeah, on one condition," Jane said with a glint in her eye.

"What's that?" Maura questioned suspiciously.

"Race me!" Jane demanded as she sprang quickly to her feet. Maura, used to Jane's playfulness, was on her own feet in a moment and pushed Jane's shoulder slightly in an attempt to unbalance her and get a head start. "Not fair, Maura!" Jane accused from some distance behind, but they both laughed as they ran toward their destination. The rain began to pour harder as they raced and by the time they entered the door of the small shop they were both soaked. Maura shivered from the cold air conditioning but laughed along with Jane, unbothered by the dampness.

"I won!" Maura stated in glee.

"Yeah, that means _you_ get to pay!" Jane poked Maura in the side and she giggled, completely distracted by the way Jane's curling hair escaped her ponytail and stuck to her cheek. Maura lifted a hand to tuck the wet piece of hair behind Jane's ear and joked in a flirty manner.

"Whatever makes my secret girlfriend happy." Maura winked and shimmied her shoulder a bit before she laughed and moved to approach the counter. It was a risk to flirt so shamelessly, but she figured that she could play off of the joke Jane had made a few mornings ago. If her wide eyes and blush were any indication, Jane wasn't bothered by the remark at all.

Later that evening as Jane got ready for bed, Maura took her journal out of her purse and into her office to add two new entries.

_Experiment Two: Prolonged Eye Contact_

_Data and Analysis: Jane regularly holds eye contact for six seconds or longer, indicating what I believe to be a sexual attraction, especially with the noted dilating pupils._

_P.s. Her eyes are lovely in the sun. And in the rain. All of the time, really._

_Experiment Three: Casual Hand Holding_

_Data and Analysis: Although throughout our friendship we routinely hold hands as a form of emotional support, it seems that Jane is not opposed at all to holding hands in other situations. She did not pull away when I held her hand in the park. I wonder where else she might allow me to do so. This is an area I must revisit._

_P.s. Her hands are feminine in their shape but ruggedly calloused from years of use, likely from her firearm. Somehow, they are still soft. Unexpected._

At the sound of Jane turning the television on, Maura hid her research journal in her bag and got ready for bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh wow, I forgot how fluffly I made this. Peanut-butter and Fluffy TT-TT


	3. A First Conclusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maura defends Jane and gets more evidence for her journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a special place in my heart for Maura Isles <3

Maura lay on the floor of her yoga room enjoying the pull of her hamstrings and back. She breathed a content sigh as she repeated the sun salutations routine and tried to remain focused as she heard Jane shuffle down the hall toward her. Maura's usually unwavering concentration was completely diminished by the presence of Jane Rizzoli. Even if Jane was quiet, she seemed to demand attention. Years of Maura's yoga, studying, and ignoring her senses so she could read all went out the window at the mere thought of Jane. It was both troublesome and invigorating.

"Do you have any magic yoga to make me less cranky? I can't find your coffee and my secret stash of instant is missing… _again,_ " Jane complained in her morning husk as she walked into the room. Maura straightened up from her stretch and smiled slyly at Jane.

"I have just the thing, come here." Maura waved her over and Jane eyed her suspiciously before following the order, though Jane's steps her slow and calculating. "Okay, stand with your feet shoulder-width apart…" Maura instructed Jane and moved around so that they stood face to face. "Good. Now, hold your arms out and reach to the sides of the room." Jane followed the orders and closed her eyes to wait for more instructions, but instead, Maura took a step forward and wrapped her arms around Jane's middle in a tight embrace, causing Jane to laugh.

"You goof," Jane teased before she reciprocated the hug.

"Did it work? Are you less cranky?" Maura asked with a grin as she enjoyed the feeling of Jane's muscular arms around her.

"...Yeah," Jane admitted before she kissed the top of Maura's head before pulling out of the hug. "… but I still need coffee!"

"It's in the cupboard where it normally is, but it's hidden behind a few new canisters of tea I had shipped," Maura explained and Jane nodded before she walked to the door. Jane paused in the doorway and looked back at Maura with a grin.

"Hey, Maura?"

"Yes, Jane?" Maura admired Jane's dimple.

"Thanks for the magic yoga."

"Anytime." Maura smiled before she continued her routine.

"I'll start breakfast," Jane offered, and then she was gone again. Maura had extra trouble focusing and breathing for the rest of that morning's yoga session. After breakfast, they realized that they hadn't made any plans and Maura took the opportunity to convince Jane to help with the gardening in the back yard. Jane complained that she had better things to do than pull plants out of the dirt, but when Maura asked what those things were, Jane remained quiet, eventually agreeing to help (though not before heaving a great sigh).

Jane and Maura knelt a few feet from each other weeding the flower and vegetable gardens that Maura and Angela liked to keep, while Jo Friday enjoyed a nap in the sunshine. 

The garden boxes had been painted a bright teal, which Maura thought was tacky, but they were in her back yard and the colour made Angela too happy for Maura to argue against. She even began to like the half dozen gnomes that Angela had snuck in, even though they weren't something Maura would have ever chosen for herself.

Maura made quick work of her section and went to get the hose so that she could begin to water the plants. As she began to spray the vegetables, something hit her in the leg but when she looked down she didn't see anything but a speck of dirt on her beige capri pants. She wiped it away and continued her task until she felt it again a few moments later. She looked up at Jane in confusion and narrowed her eyes at the mischievous grin plastered on Jane's face. Now privy to Jane's antics, Maura kept a close eye on Jane. Sure enough, after some time had passed, Jane plucked a weed from the pile next to her and threw it directly at Maura's thigh.

"Jane, stop it," Maura tried to speak sternly but her voice wobbled with the strain it took not to laugh.

"Don't know what you're talking about… I'm just weeding all these little pests," Jane said innocently before she held up a weed.

"You _are_ a pest," Maura teased and Jane gasped in mock offense before she openly threw another bit of plant toward Maura. "Jane, I'm warning you." Jane simply raised an eyebrow and smirked before she flung an entire handful of plants in Maura's direction. Maura, having none of Jane's nonsense, raised the hose toward her and gave the best warning glare she could muster.

"You wouldn't dare," Jane defied and Maura raised an eyebrow at her.

"Care to test your hypothesis, detective?" Maura threatened, aware that Jane was never one to back down from a challenge. Sure enough, Jane pursed her lips for a moment before she continued her projectile barrage of plant life. Maura squeezed the trigger on the nozzle and soaked the front of Jane's navy blue tank top. Jane gasped at the cold water and then looked at Maura with her mouth agape. Maura bit her lips as she waited for Jane's reaction with bated breath. There was a pause in which neither seemed to know what to do before Jane broke the tension.

"Oh, it is _so_ on, Isles."

"Jane?" Maura questioned at the look in Jane's eye, and suddenly Jane was running toward Maura and reaching for the hose. "No, Jane! No!" Maura protested and sprayed Jane some more in an effort to slow her movements. Jane approached anyway and they fought over the hose, chased each other around the backyard, and sprayed one another when they were able to wrestle the hose back. Jo joined in on the fun and barked, wiggling her entire body in excitement as all three of them got muddy and full of grass. Eventually, likely in an attempt to both shield herself and regain control of the hose, Jane ended up on Maura's back with her legs wrapped around Maura's waist as she reached for the nozzle, both women with semi muddy and damp clothes, laughing hysterically.

"Maura?"

She looked up at her name and saw her mother and Angela standing at the gate of her back yard with wide eyes. Angela gaped at them, but Constance's hands were still folded primly in front of her, though their grip was stronger than usual.

"M-mother, hi," Maura stuttered, knowing how odd she and Jane must look. "... We were just… gardening," Maura offered and Jane burst out laughing. Maura started chuckling too as Jane slipped off of her back.

"Jane!" Angela admonished. "You got Maura all dirty! Do you know how much those pants cost?" Maura chuckled at Angela's whispering because everyone could hear her quite clearly.

"It's fine, Angela. I'm going to the dry cleaners today anyway," Maura tried to defend Jane but apparently did not do a well enough job.

"Ma! _She_ started it!" Jane accused and let go of the hose to point at Maura.

"I did nothing of the sort!" Maura chuckled out.

"Uhh, which one of us sprayed the other first, huh?" Jane retorted.

"I warned you several times, Jane, it's not my fault you refused to take me seriously," Maura teased back and Jane pouted. Maura's eyes flickered down to Jane's mouth and she smirked. She felt compelled to try to kiss that pout away.

"Well, darling, I was wondering if I may have a word with you?" Constance interrupted. Jo Friday bounded toward Maura's mother, wagging her tail and body excitedly, getting the hem of Constance's suit bottoms slightly wet and dirty. Jane ran over and snatched her dog from the ground before any more damage could be done.

"Off Jo Friday! Nice to see you again, Mrs. Isles, sorry about that..." The amusement in Jane's tone was clear and based on the way Angela raised her hands to her hips, it did not go unnoticed by Angela either.

"Let's go, Missy, I'll help you clean up so you don't get dirt all over Maura's good towels," Angela started to tug on Jane's elbow and Jane rolled her eyes.

"See ya, Maur." Jane grinned over her shoulder and Maura chuckled and looked after the women leaving towards the guest house. Constance nodded politely to them. Maura stared at the way Jane's wet shirt clung to her skin, accentuating the pull of her trapezius.

"Shall we move to the kitchen?" Constance broke Maura out of her trance.

"What? Oh! Yes, of course, Mother." Maura gestured toward the back door and glanced down at her wet and muddy outfit in panic before she followed her mother into the house. Her mother had never seen Maura in such a state and Maura was anxious about what comments she might receive. She twisted the ring she wore as she followed her mother into the house and looked at her reflection in the hall mirror. If she wasn't so worried about what her mother was thinking she might have laughed at herself. Her pants were muddy, her shirt was damp in odd areas and her hair was a disheveled mess with a few bits of grass and leaves in it. She kicked off her muddy shoes and followed her mother deeper into the house, electing to act as if nothing was out of the ordinary because nothing really was. Not by Maura's standards.

"Would you like something to drink?" She offered her mother in as casual a tone as she could manage.

"...No, I'm fine, thank you." Constance waved off. Maura got the distinct impression that her mother had something to say and after years of trying to gain her approval, Maura knew that it was nothing good.

"I thought you were in New York lecturing about abstract impressionism until the end of the school year," Maura questioned her mother and then realized how rude the statement might appear. "What I mean is that I wasn't expecting a visit but I am glad you're here."

"As am I. Apparently, you have big news to share?" Constance prompted but Maura had no idea what she was talking about so she stared in confusion until her mother continued. "The Isles family are public figures, darling, did you think our publicists wouldn't inform me of the story about you and Jane?"

"Oh!" Maura chuckled. The interview with Kitty. Of course. "That was a misunderstanding. I simply didn't know how to respond to the question during the interview, I'm sure people will forget about it soon," Maura tried to argue but her mother waved her off.

"I'm not talking about that interview, dear, I'm talking about the story someone called Kitty Vansen is trying to put together about your long, secret love affair with detective Rizzoli. If it gets out that the both of you have secretly been together throughout these past years, it will insinuate that you were unfaithful to your previous partners and that will not bode well for the Isles Foundation," Constance explained and Maura had to fight the compulsion to scoff. Here her mother was, completely aware of the interview and possibly believing that Jane and Maura were indeed together, but instead of congratulating Maura, Constance was only worried about her own media perception. It irritated Maura to no end.

"Well," Maura began in a clipped tone, "there's very little I can do about it. With two words I convinced all of Boston that Jane and I are an item and it isn't even true!" Constance hardly seemed taken aback by Maura's outburst.

"Well, why don't you go and clear that up with this Kitty woman?"

"I can't, Mother," Maura whispered in a defeated tone. There was no way Constance would be understanding of the position she was in. She couldn't go try to clear things up with Kitty because Maura was quickly learning that there _was_ a budding romance growing between herself and Jane… at least on her part. Trying to talk to the reporter would surely make it worse for Jane.

"I don't understand. If you say that you and Jane aren't together then you should be able to go and clear this mess up in an instant. Just inform Ms. Vansen that there are no feelings beyond friendship and this possible problem will go away," Constance reasoned and Maura stifled a sigh. Now she knew why Jane rolled her eyes at Angela so much.

"I can't," Maura repeated, glancing from her mother to the guest house where Jane was.

"Due to your inability to lie?" Constance asked and Maura nodded. "I see… so there _are_ feelings that go beyond that of friendship but nothing has come of it?" Maura nodded again, unsure of her voice. Constance stared for a few moments and Maura felt as though she were on a slide under one of the microscopes in her lab. "Did Jane tell you she has feelings for you that aren't reciprocated?"

"What?" Maura was startled by the assumption. How could her mother get it so wrong? "N-no! She doesn't… she isn't… she's never said anything about having feelings for me," Maura admitted and Constance seemed to ponder on the words for a moment. Maura had all but admitted that she was attracted to Jane. She had to fight not to pull at the collar of her shirt as her chest heated up. 

"Of course I love you darling, and I'll support you no matter who you choose to spend time with… but I just don't understand why you seem to enjoy Jane's company so much," Constance tried to reason and Maura's anger bubbled in her stomach. Perhaps she and Jane came from different backgrounds, but Maura would give all of her wealth away if it meant being rich the way Jane was. Jane was rich in familial bonds and friendships. She was rich in endless kindness and loyalty. Rich in unconditional love. Maura had yearned her whole life to meet someone half as kind as Jane. Why couldn't her mother see how valuable Jane was? How fiercely loyal and protective she was of Maura? The anger grew within Maura as she thought of Jane's protectiveness and she elected to protect Jane's image from her mother before she knew she was even speaking.

"Why don't you like her? Is it because she isn't wealthy? Because I don't care about that! Is it because she didn't like your water bottle sculpture? Because she isn't afraid of _you_? Why not, mother?" Maura shouted and Constance barely registered the change in Maura's tone.

"I suppose I don't see what you see in her. Why do you spend so much time with her?"

"Because she's _fun,_ Mother. She's my best friend. She doesn't treat me differently because of our wealth and she _listens_ to me, not out of obligation but because she _wants_ to. She likes to hear what I have to say. Do you know how rare that experience is for me? I've always had trouble connecting… people have always been put off by the way I speak, or with the social cues I miss, but it's just so easy with Jane. She barely bats an eye when I miss something other people would see as obvious and if I really need it, she helps me understand what I missed. She's sweet to me, Mother. She jokes and teases me, but not in a demeaning way like my previous acquaintances did. She makes me so happy and it doesn't even matter what we're doing. We can be doing the most mundane activity and I'll be so grateful for her because she'll do something or say something that makes me laugh and I've never been able to connect like that with someone before. She's playful and, yes, a little goofy, but so am I and she makes everything so much better than it would otherwise be and I'm..." _in love with her._ Maura didn't finish her sentence because the words she was about to say took her so off guard. "I'll not tolerate anyone negatively speaking about Jane," Maura dared to stand up to her mother and stood breathing heavily after her rant, daring her mother to continue to disrespect her best friend. Constance continued to stare at Maura in disbelief for long moments before responding.

"Well… I may not understand but all I've ever wanted was for you to be happy and taken care of…" Constance spoke as she approached Maura. "Perhaps she takes care of you in ways I hadn't considered... If Jane is what will make you happy then, by all means, book the family jet and use a skywriter. Let the world know how much your friendship means."

"Wh-what?" Maura was surprised to hear the sudden change of heart.

"Maura, that was the most I've ever heard you speak openly about anything. It's clear that you've got your heart and mind set on this. I raised you, darling, I do know how stubborn you can be when you know you're right… I've only ever seen you that passionate about shoes and science. It took me a long time to learn that your version of happiness could differ from my own but I _do_ wish to support you," Constance said and a tear fell down Maura's cheek at her mother's sudden support.

"Oh, darling." Constance surprised her further by enveloping Maura in a tight embrace which only served to spur on Maura's emotional release. Constance Isles, hugging her muddy and damp daughter in the middle of the kitchen after having had their first fight. Maura hardly dared to believe it. "Darn that lacrimal gland of yours that's always making you cry," Constance joked and Maura chuckled through her tears as they let go of one another.

"Thank you, Mother," Maura whispered and Constance patted her cheek.

"I would do anything to see you happy, dear… I've just never been good at knowing what that means."

"You're doing it," Maura admitted with a smile, "you're doing it now."

"Uhh, hey," Jane walked into the room and Maura's eyes widened. How much had Jane heard? What did she know? "Just came to let you know that I'm taking Jo back home with Ma."

"Jane, darling, I was just telling Maura not to worry about the media publicity that the two of you might soon be getting…" Constance spoke to Jane and then touched Maura's cheek with a meaningful look. "I'd love to stay and spend more time with you if you're free."

"Publicity?" Jane interrupted and looked between the two other women.

"Yes. You know how reporters are. They'll throw everything out of proportion and make it seem like a scandal. I just came to warn you." Constance waved off.

"Oh, well that's... nice of you," Jane stated questioningly as she eyed Maura. Maura saw the look that Jane got when she was suspicious and protective; the furrowed brow and set jaw. It warmed her heart to see how much Jane cared. "You okay, Maur?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you, Jane." Maura smiled. Of course Jane would act protectively toward her even if it was against Constance. Maura was proud of herself for defending Jane. If anyone deserved it, it was her favourite detective.

"Good. Call me if you need me. Nice seeing you, Mrs. Isles." Jane nodded toward Constance and the pleasantries were returned until Jane left. Constance waited for the door to close before smiling at her daughter.

"She loves you too, you know," her mother stated and Maura opened her mouth to protest but found that she wasn't able to deny the claim. Her research wasn't finished so she couldn't be sure.

Constance left Maura's later that evening and Maura felt closer to her than she ever had before. She kept thinking back to their conversation and smiling randomly to herself at the growing connection she'd always wished for. She thought that perhaps Constance had seen how Angela and Jane acted towards each other and was trying to emulate that. It was just one more reason for Maura to be grateful to Jane. Just as Maura was getting ready to eat she got a text.

**Jane: Ma is driving me crazy. We might have a homicide on our hands soon.**

Maura chuckled at Jane's text, unsure of how to respond. She was still worried about what Jane might have overheard and wasn't sure how to bring it up. After much deliberation, Maura decided that if Jane _had_ heard what she'd said to her mother then she likely wouldn't have been so calm. If she'd overheard them, then Jane would either have run away or she would have walked into the kitchen, guns blazing, irrationally demanding to know what was going on and defending Maura against her mother. Jane was a full speed ahead or run in the other direction type of person, so since there was virtually no reaction it seemed unlikely Jane had heard anything. Suddenly Maura's phone started ringing and her favourite picture of Jane flashed across the screen. She took a moment to admire the image of Jane laying on the living room floor next to Bass, trying to protect the tortoise from a very exuberant Jo Friday.

"Please tell me you don't need help hiding Angela's body," Maura joked after she hit the accept button.

" _I'd help_ you _hide a body,"_ Jane's voice rang out in mock offense.

"I wouldn't need help," Maura joked, though it was likely truthful.

" _Okay, that's the creepiest thing you've ever said,"_ Jane laughed. _"That's even creepier than the time you were gonna peel that cadaver's face off."_

"You asked me to show me what she looked like before plastic surgery!" Maura argued.

" _Okay, this is so not why I called."_

"Okay…" Maura answered, she didn't know why she was nervous but she was. She felt itchy, though not the same way hives made her itchy. It was more itchy on the inside. "Why did you call, Jane?"

" _I just… I wanted to thank you for what you said to your mom. I didn't mean to eavesdrop but it means a lot to me that you defended me like that, especially because I know how much you want her approval. You just… you really had my back and it means more than you know,"_ Jane spoke in the soft voice that she kept hidden until she was talking about something emotional or comforting someone. Tears started to prick in her eyes and she didn't know how to process the fact that Jane had indeed heard everything. Maura hadn't considered that Jane might pause at the loud voices and then give Maura a chance to stand up for herself. Jane supported Maura from afar, helping her grow without intervention, and Maura didn't know what that meant.

"You heard?" Maura whispered and Jane snorted.

" _You were kinda screaming at her, Maur, I'm pretty sure the whole street heard,"_ Jane chuckled. _"Listen, we both know I'm not the greatest at talking about_ feelings _or whatever, but I just needed to let you know how great it was of you to stand up for me like that. You're the bravest person I know."_

"I'm not-"

" _You are and don't argue. You're probably gonna be all self-deprecating and say that standing up to your Ma was nothing compared to what I do, but it's a lot easier for me to stand up to criminals than it was for you to stand up to someone you idolize so much. I need you to know that you're amazing and brave for doing that… okay?"_

"Jane, that's… that's really sweet," Maura couldn't keep the emotion out of her voice and chuckled at the groan that she heard on the other end of the line.

" _Yeah, whatever. Don't get all mushy on me."_

"I believe you are the one who is getting 'mushy' in this case, Jane," Maura joked.

" _Yeah, because you had my back and you're my best friend too and I love you. Now shut up about it and go feed your turtle,"_ Jane said and then the line went dead and Maura laughed before her brain started reeling over the conversation she just had and what it all might mean.

So Jane _had_ heard but didn't run away from Maura's strong emotions. Though Maura knew she hadn't said anything indicative of her true feelings for Jane out loud, she also knew how good Jane was at reading between the lines. Jane had an uncanny ability to hear what people said, but know how they truly felt. It was part of what made her such a good detective.

If Jane had overheard, read between the lines, and felt uncomfortable with Maura's revelation, then Maura was certain Jane would have run away.

But if Jane did read between the lines and glean what Maura had meant, and if she also secretly loved Maura, then why wouldn't Jane admit her feelings? There would be nothing to stop them from being together if Jane had been able to tell what Maura truly meant. Maura was back to square one, sure that it was impossible to know if Jane loved her in the same way. Still, Jane had made the phone call… She went to her home office and turned to her research.

_Experiment Four: Defending Her Honor_

_Data and Analysis: Although inadvertent, it seems that this experiment has garnered positive results. In an unexpected turn of events, Jane overheard me being protective of her. The result being an openness and an appreciation that I rarely get to see. Although I remain unsure if my feelings are reciprocated, I am comfortable stating that Jane and I would make an ideal couple emotionally. We support and respect one another in ways I've not experienced before. We are closer to each other than either of us has been to anyone else._

_Conclusion: Jane is likely emotionally attracted to me beyond that of a normal friendship. Though I am unsure if it is romantic love, one thing remains clear. We are compatible._

Maura was brought out of her Jane experiment bubble with a sharp knock on her open door. She stared at Angela with an open-eyed panic, glancing down at her open journal and hoping beyond hope that the curious woman would not ask what she was working on.

"Angela! H-hello, I wasn't expecting you…"

"Sorry, Janie said that you're really busy and not to bother you but I haven't seen you since I heard the news and I just wanted to tell you how happy I am that you two finally came to your senses," Angela spoke happily from the doorway with a beaming smile and waited for Maura to reply.

"What do you mean? What news?" Maura didn't understand what Angela was so ecstatic about.

"The news about you and Janie! I'm so happy you're together now. It's clear you two love each other and I just wanted you to know how glad it makes me that Jane found someone to take care of that takes care of her too. I'm so glad you're part of our family, Maura." Angela smiled with warmth from the doorway and Maura glanced at the elder Rizzoli in shock before she simply nodded.

"Thank you, Angela," was the only thing Maura could say without running the risk of hives or fainting.

"I'll let you get back to work," Angela spoke, and then she walked out of the main house leaving Maura with one question:

Why hadn't Jane told her mother that they weren't actually dating?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just in case y'all didn't read the tags or whatever, I need to make it clear that this story deals with some pretty severe internalized homophobia and details a traumatic event that may be triggering to some.   
> Everything works out okay in the end because I am a softie, but I wanted to make sure you were well-warned!   
> Ok, I love all of you! <3


	4. Emotional and Physical Responses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maura and Jane solve a case, but it leaves Maura with more questions than she started with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter depicts the corpse of a drag queen, fair warning. And references to homophobia.

Maura leaned over the body of an oddly dressed person. The makeup was so heavy it caked to their skin like glue, and the corset was tied so tightly that it had to have been painful. There was a knife poking out of their chest. Maura personally found the fishnet stockings and feather boa distasteful and tacky, but she shook the thoughts from her mind, knowing that the victim's lack of fashion sense was unlikely the reason for the suspicious death. Maura pulled some form of identification tag from around the victim's neck and handed it to Frost.

"Her identification says her name is Annie Mositty. Perhaps you can use that," Maura said and Jane's eyebrows knit together as she glanced at the body with pursed lips.

"Let me see that ID." Jane reached out for the ID tag with the photo of the dead woman and she eyed Frost who held up his hands in surrender while shaking his head. Maura thought that the wordless communication between the partners was odd. "Maura, that's not their real name…"

"What? How could you possibly know that, Jane? You know I hate it when you make wild assumptions," Maura complained with a pout, which only deepened when Jane grinned at her.

"Listen… it's a drag name. Annie Mositty is this guy's drag queen name, Maur… he's a drag queen… get it? Annie Mositty… Animosity?" Jane explained patiently as Frost stifled his amusement.

"Oh! It means strong hostility," Maura defined the word and then closely studied the makeup on the person's face again. It was rather heavy, but the contours seemed feminine. It would explain the lack of breasts if this was a man who partook in drag, though she knew not all women had breasts. They were obviously passionate about drag based on the lack of body hair and likely plastic surgery.

"I can't believe shit like this still happens," Jane glared at the knife poking out of the drag queen's chest, but her eyes softened as they moved up to look into Annie's face.

"What, murder? It's kinda our whole job, Janie," Korsak chortled and a strange sadness fleeted over Jane's face, though she covered it with a clenched jaw.

"Hate crimes…" Frost corrected the older man. "My mom told me a kid dropped out of her class and filed a formal complaint against her after he saw her kissing her wife…" Frost bit and shook his head.

"We can't know that this was a hate crime until the investigation is complete," Maura said, trying to give her friends hope but they all remained gloomy.

"Look at her, Maur. It's clear someone had a 'strong hostility' towards her," Jane retaliated and Maura could tell Jane was struggling more than usual to keep her voice under control. It was raspier than usual but held more of a guttural edge.

"I don't get it," Korsak shrugged and everyone turned to look at him, "I mean, I was raised a Catholic and I had an average, nuclear family. I didn't know any gay people growing up but even I can see that it's just _love._ I don't get why anyone would have a problem with love. They're just… people. Who cares if he wants to wear feather boa? If it doesn't hurt anyone else I don't get why people get so angry about it."

"Fear, ignorance," Maura offered.

"Hate... power," Jane whispered venomously, and Maura was surprised by the rage she saw in her friend's eyes. "I'm gonna bring this ID to the drag spots around here… see if anyone recognizes her."

"We'll get whoever did it," Frost spoke resolutely to his partner and Jane nodded with a determined look; fierce, with furrowed brows and focused, analyzing eyes. It was the look Jane got when she was so tenacious in her pursuit that Maura was reminded of a predator on the prowl. It sent shivers down her spine that she worked hard to ignore. Jane walked from the scene and Maura stared after her, curious to know why Jane was reacting so strongly to this case. "I'll keep an eye on her today, Maura," Frost offered, pulling Maura from her thoughts. Maura wasn't sure how to respond so she simply nodded and Frost followed his partner, leaving Maura and Korsak to process the scene.

* * *

Two hours later, Maura was in the midst of her autopsy and Jane paced back and forth on the other side of the slab ranting.

"This guy won every drag competition in Boston for the last three months," Jane said, not for the first time. "I'm struggling with leads Maur, I need the cause of death. I need more to go on."

Maura was surprised to find that Jane wasn't making fun of her. Usually, Jane would stare pointedly at the stab wound and try to get Maura to admit that it was the cause of death before she'd finished the autopsy but today Jane just paced and ranted.

"You will have it in a minute, Jane," Maura tried to be patient. She could see something was bothering Jane beyond what was usual for an unsolved case. Jane fidgeted with her hands before running them both through her hair. "It seems to me that you have at least two leads. Why aren't you out with Frost or Korsak?"

"Frost is talking to other queens trying to see if there's any bad blood in the contestants and Korsak is looking into any recent fights between the clubs and hate groups in the area… they uh, they said I should stay and wait for the lab results." Jane shrugged. It was unlike her to take a back seat in the investigation. Something must really be bothering Jane for her to be so willing to let her teammates take the lead. Maura doubled her efforts to get Jane what she needed.

"Cause of death is exsanguination due to a puncture wound to the aorta," Maura declared and Jane stared at her with her impatient ' _really?_ ' face. Maura decided to rephrase. "He was stabbed to death... The victim would have experienced near-immediate unconsciousness… it would have been painful but not for very long." Maura decided to try to comfort Jane and knew she did the right thing when Jane clenched her jaw and nodded a silent 'thank you.'

"I'll uh, I'll let his family know that when we tell them…" Jane choked over her words more than she normally did before clearing her throat and swaying on her heels.

"Jane," Maura called after Jane tried to walk away. She waited until Jane turned back to look at her. "This case seems to be affecting you strongly. I'm here if you'd like to talk about it." Maura was glad when her words caused a small smile to appear, though Jane's eyes were still sad and fearful.

"I know, Maur," Jane whispered before she left the morgue again. Maura returned to her work, hoping to find something helpful so that Jane could get whatever closure she needed. Maura was frustrated and grumbled when she could get nothing further from the body but a single text from Jane a couple of hours later eased her woes.

**Jane: Got him.**

Maura cleaned up her work area and made her way upstairs to the bullpen only to find Frost sitting alone. Several thick manilla folders crowded his desk and he rested his head on the tall stack closest to him. 

"Hello, detective Frost." Maura smiled warmly.

"Hey, doctor Isles. You looking for Jane?" He asked.

"Yes, she said you've caught whoever the attacker was?"

Frost nodded slowly, biting his lip with a furrowed brow. Maura sat in Jane's chair, feeling that there was more he wanted to say.

"Drag queen named One Hit Wanda kept coming in second place to Annie. Stupid motive if you ask me, but ten minutes in interrogation with Jane had him crying." Frost's sad smile replaced the winning grin he would normally wear after closing a case. Maura, wanting to understand and being the direct person that she was, simply asked what was on her mind.

"Are you particularly bothered by this case because your mother is a lesbian?" Frost surprised her by chuckling before he sobered again.

"Yeah. I mean, it just makes me so angry to know that my mom's at risk just because of who she loves," he paused to shake his head. "Like she doesn't experience enough prejudice just for being a strong, black woman, she has to worry about this too? She doesn't deserve it. It pisses me off that I can't protect her from it, you know? Man, you're blunt."

"Sorry." Maura tried to apologize for missing some social cue but he waved her off.

"Nah, it's refreshing. It's nice to have people to talk to who don't shy away from it, you know?"

"I suppose so…" Maura said before she tilted her head to the side, debating whether she should ask Frost for his input about what had been bothering her all day. "Why would Jane be so upset about this case? We've dealt with more brutal attacks than this. I don't understand." Maura didn't like it when she couldn't understand. Frost looked at her the same way Susie had days before when she'd asked for the criminalist's opinion on her research; the look that said they knew something she didn't. She didn't like that very much either.

"I guess it's personal for her, too." He shrugged.

"How so? The only people from the LGBTQ community that Jane knows - that she's aware of - are your mother and her wife."

"Yeah, and you," Frost gently reasoned. It felt as if all the blood in her body froze before starting up again at twice the normal rate and temperature.

"How could she know? I've never said anything about my sexuality to her," Maura questioned and Frost smiled at her.

"She's known you like men and women since you guys went undercover at Merch all those years ago. Told me she'd kick my ass if I said anything to you about it, but I'm not about to keep a secret from someone who can't lie, so…" he trailed off and Maura studied him as she processed the new information.

"So she's angry because she thought it was a hate crime and she's protective of me?" Maura asked, not understanding why Jane wouldn't bring it up, or why Jane hadn't asked about her sexuality.

"I think that's part of it. There's more but she wouldn't tell me anything else. I think she needs to talk to someone about whatever it is that's bothering her, though," he admitted.

"I should go talk to her. Show her that I'm okay." Maura stood from the desk but Frost stopped her with his words.

"It doesn't bother her, you know. She's not like, homophobic or anything. I think she just didn't want to push you about your sexuality because you never brought it up yourself," he explained before he took a sip of his coffee. Maura grinned at him.

"Of course. If she was homophobic she probably wouldn't sleep with me so often," Maura reasoned aloud and Frost spewed the coffee that had previously been in his mouth all over the carpet of the room, down his suit, and splattered across his array of folders. He coughed and looked up at Maura in shock. Only then did she realize the implications of her claim. "Oh! No, I just meant- we haven't- I didn't mean sexual intercourse, I meant that we _sleep_ together. Oh, God. I _meant_ that we often experience the stages of the sleep cycle in unison while we occupy the same space, frequently a bed, though sometimes a couch is involved, not purposely of course, but-"

"It's cool, Maura, I get it. You can stop." Frost wiped the front of his suit and raised a hand to stop her anxious rambling.

"Thank you," Maura muttered in embarrassment and took a deep breath. She cursed popular colloquialisms and her inability to understand or remember them. "I'm just going to, um… I'm going to go talk to Jane. Do you know where she is?" Maura asked, desperate for a reason to leave the awkward encounter. Frost pointed to the hallway that led to the interrogation rooms and Maura nodded to him with a smile before she left. She could have sworn she heard him quietly laughing but she didn't dare turn around to check. She'd embarrassed herself enough.

* * *

She found Jane sitting on one of the benches that lined the hall outside of the interrogation rooms. Jane's knee was bouncing and she chewed the corner of her thumb; a nervous tick Jane had that indicated a particularly strong stressor and she stares at the wall opposite her with glazed eyes. Maura sat quietly on the bench beside Jane and offered a small smile. She tried not to think about how the chipping black paint from the bench might stick to her skirt as she waited until Jane broke the silence.

"You were right. It wasn't a hate crime," Jane finally offered after she slumped into the wall behind them and rubbed her hands on her thighs.

"Yes, I spoke to detective Frost on my way to find you. He explained what happened… he said that…" Maura trailed off, not knowing how to bring up the conversation of Jane's emotions or even if she should.

"What did he say?"

"Well, I asked him if he knew why you seem so… perturbed," Maura settled on a word she found appropriate and Jane chuckled at it.

" _Perturbed?_ Really, Maura?" Jane rolled her eyes but smiled.

"Yes, perturbed. A feeling of anxiety or unsettlement," Maura defined so that Jane could follow her logic.

"Don't ever change," Jane spoke in a strange voice that was both serious and teasing.

"I have to change, Jane, I have no choice in the matter."

"Goof." Jane nudged Maura's side before her face became pensive again. "It's good that there was a real motive… no matter how stupid and petty it was."

Maura considered the words and thought back to her conversation with Frost.

"You're glad that it wasn't a hate crime."

"Yeah, I guess so," Jane admitted with a shrug. "Is that bad? I know it doesn't make Annie any less dead but… it's nice to know that blind hate didn't kill this guy, you know?"

"It's not bad. I understand, Jane." Maura pulled one of Jane's fidgeting hands off her thighs and laced their fingers together. She was pleased when Jane didn't pull away. "Would you like to tell me why this case had you so _perturbed_?" Maura figured that even though she knew at least a part of why Jane was upset, she should still give her friend the chance to talk about it on her own. After all, Jane had provided the same courtesy with Maura's sexuality.

"Nah, it's done. Let's go out to eat. You pick the place." Maura knew Jane was trying to distract her but she let it happen.

"Really?" Maura couldn't keep the excitement out of her voice and Jane laughed.

"Yeah. Even if it's some stuffy place full of rich people where I have to wear a dumb dress." Jane squeezed Maura's hand and Maura beamed at her.

"I know just the place!" Maura exclaimed before she pulled Jane to her feet and led them out of the building, holding hands all the while. Most of the people who looked up at them seemed to not even notice or care that their fingers were laced together, and Jane even ignored the surprised glances a handful of people threw their way. They held hands until they walked out of the front door where Kitty Vansen and her cameraman stood. He quickly snapped a picture of the two women holding hands and Jane tugged herself from Maura's grasp as if she'd been burned as the flash of the camera faded.

"Well, we just came to get a statement about the murder of popular local drag queen, Annie Mositty, but it seems I'm in luck." Kitty's already exuberant voice was even more so at having caught them holding hands and, sensing how uncomfortable Jane was, Maura stepped in front of her.

"The case is solved and we are no longer on the clock. If you wish for more information about the case, feel free to wait for the lieutenant's public announcement. Anything beyond that is quite frankly none of your business. If you'll excuse us," Maura spoke in a quipped, yet polite tone that most people shied away from. She tugged on the elbow of Jane's blazer to indicate that Jane should follow her but didn't dare grab Jane's hand. Kitty didn't seem to understand that she had been dismissed and followed them down the street asking questions until they reached Maura's car.

"Exactly how long have you and detective Rizzoli been an item? Why have you kept your relationship a secret from the public? Are you ashamed to be dating someone of such a lower class than the Isles family?" Maura stopped at the last question. She wanted to turn around and defend Jane but she also knew that it was exactly the rise Kitty was trying to get out of her. She looked from Janes clenched to Jane's face, seeking some sort of indication of what she ought to do. Jane shook her head in the negative, the movement so slight that Maura was sure nobody else would have been able to catch it. Maura studied Jane's eyes and was surprised to see rare, genuine fear in them. Instead of turning around to address the rude woman, Maura simply opened the passenger door to her car and waited for Jane to be settled before closing her safely inside the vehicle. Maura made sure that both the camera and the microphone weren't focused on her before she stepped into Kitty's personal space.

"If you talk to us about this again, I will use every resource I have to sue you for harassment and make sure that you will never be allowed to do another news report... I have a lot of resources, Kitty," Maura warned and only backed away when she saw a small spark of fear in the blue eyes before her. Maura moved to the driver's side door and was pleased to see Kitty pulling her cameraman to the side and speaking to him in a hushed, panicked tone.

"Jesus, Maur, what the hell did you say to her?" Jane asked once Maura started the car.

"I informed her that I didn't appreciate her harassing us and that I had the means to get her fired if she continued," Maura reasoned in a calm tone as she ignored Jane's raised eyebrows.

"You _threatened_ her?" Jane asked in bewilderment.

" _No…"_ Maura argued but began to panic slightly as she thought about it. She looked over to Jane with wide eyes before focusing on the road, though her breath began to quicken. "No, I don't think I threatened her. I simply warned her… a threat is an intention to inflict injury, damage, or hostility in retribution to something… I don't want to hurt her _physically_ , I just... Oh God, Jane, did I threaten her?"

"No." Jane waved off her worry with forced casualness, and Maura waited for the reasoning before she could either calm down or start hyperventilating. "No, you were just standing up for a friend, right?"

"Yes, I suppose so… but-"

"No, no 'but.' You weren't threatening Kitty, you were defending _me._ Focus on that part so you don't faint and get us killed, please?" Jane reasoned and indicated to the road ahead of them.

"Right, I was defending you." Maura agreed with a nod, finally able to calm down because of Jane's rationalization. Perhaps calming music would help them both relax. Maura hit the play button on the console and ignored Jane's defeated sigh as Yo-Yo Ma's rendition of _Cello Suite No. 1 in G Major_ started to play. 

"I can defend myself, you know," Jane muttered playfully after some time had passed.

"Yes, I know you _can,_ Jane, but you shouldn't always _have_ to," Maura argued. "You protect people all the time. You save me from bad guys, you yell at Crowe when he's being, well, an ass... You ground me when I panic. You deserve to be protected too, Jane. You don't have to do everything by yourself. It's okay to lean on people. I want to take care of you, too." This truth helped to distract Maura from her internal debate about whether or not she'd threatened Kitty, and the words were things she wanted Jane to hear anyway.

Jane sat in silence as Maura drove to Jane's side of town. Maura glanced over every so often to see Jane was deep in thought, lip bitten and eyes cast out of the window. The glow of streetlights flashed over them as they drove, bathing them in a tide of orange. It was rare to see Jane so pensive. Rarer to see Jane both still _and_ quiet at the same time. Even in the emotionally charged atmosphere, Jane was beautiful. The deep focus of Janes's face and the controlled stillness of her body were betrayed by her dark, lively eyes. Those eyes spoke so many things that Maura couldn't dare hope to read them all. She saw confusion, yearning, hope, and fear. Above all of it she saw the look that she could never quite place; the look Jane only had around Maura, the one Maura had only ever gotten from Jane. The look she always wanted to see but didn't know how to create.

"Thanks for having my back, Maura." Jane eventually grinned at her and Maura smiled back as she pulled up to Jane's apartment complex.

"That's what we do," Maura responded easily, sensing that nothing else needed to be said. "We can go to a stuffy restaurant filled with rich people some other time… I'd rather order in, drink beer, and watch you yell at the baseball players on your television who cannot hear you."

Jane chuckled and reached across the console to pull Maura into a tight hug. Maura returned it without question and squeezed Jane tightly back. The hug was long and sweet, and it told Maura everything Jane couldn't say out loud. The hug told Maura that Jane appreciated the protection offered, and Maura snuggled into it, burying her face in the crook of Jane's neck and breathing her in. Jane pulled back and cupped one of Maura's cheeks as they smiled at each other.

"You're amazing, you know that?" Jane spoke in a voice of quiet disbelief, as if saying it any louder might somehow ruin it.

"I thought you said I was weird," Maura tease. Jane chuckled with a shake of her head.

"They aren't mutually exclusive." Jane shrugged before pushing her door open.

"You listened when I was talking about probability theory?" Maura asked in surprise. Jane had seemed awfully interested in her burger when Maura had explained it weeks ago. Jane smirked and held the door to her building open.

"Maura, how many times do I have to tell you that I _always_ listen to you? I might not know what the hell you're talking about half the time, but I do _try_ to keep up." They continued their conversation through the soft yellow halls and up the stairs of Jane's building.

"You keep up just fine. You're one of the smartest people I know," Maura complimented as she pulled out the key to Jane's apartment and unlocked the door for them both.

"Maura, most of the people you know are cadavers," Jane deadpanned and Maura laughed. Maura always appreciated Jane's ability to ease tensions. Jane could change the atmosphere in a room with the drop of a hat and Maura marveled at it. Maura enjoyed the fact that she and Jane had just shared yet another deep, emotional connection after their altercation with Kitty, but they were still able to act the way they always had. No matter what happened, they could always find solace in each other and sit together in Jane's living room to watch baseball.

"Aren't the Red Sox playing tonight? Frankie told me earlier that you have an over/under bet with him. I suggest over," Maura offered.

"I thought you didn't gamble unless you were sure you could win," Jane teased.

"Well, _I'm_ not technically the one betting. I'm simply using the data I've learned from you and my own research to make an informed estimate of the statistical outcome so that I can converse with you about it and possibly be of assistance," Maura explained as they walked to Jane's bedroom.

"You did special research so you could talk to me about baseball?" Jane raised her eyebrows in surprise but Maura couldn't understand why.

"Of course. It seems only fair. I share my interests with you even though you aren't always passionate about them. You put in the effort to learn and I am returning the favor." Maura shrugged and was pleased to see a dimple make an appearance on Jane's face.

"Alright, I'll text Frankie and tell him I'm picking over." Jane grinned. "You want to shower while I walk Jo? I don't think you have clean pajamas here but you can wear some of my sweats if you want."

Maura opened her mouth to protest but Jane held up a finger and raised a warning eyebrow before she continued, "I _know_ the polyester isn't _breathable_ and last time you got itchy, but I used fabric softener this time, so do you wanna wear my clothes or do you wanna sleep next to me naked?"

"I um…" Maura swallowed audibly at the image and her cheeks grew warm. "I uh. Yes."

"Yes?" Jane asked as she pulled two pairs of sweats and a couple of shirts out of a drawer.

"Yes," Maura repeated, hoping Jane would just assume she was saying yes to the clothes.

"Yes to the sweats." Jane nodded and Maura didn't know if she wanted to laugh or cry. "Here, these will fit. I'll go order from that Chinese place you like and it should get here by the time you're done with your ridiculously long bathroom routine." Jane waved to the washroom and Maura nodded before she took the offered sweatpants and BPD T-shirt. She was glad she still had her purse with her because it allowed her to write a new entry.

_Experiment Five: Hand Holding 2.0_

_Data and Analysis: Jane seemed to be fine with holding my hand throughout our entire walk inside the BPD. I noted the usual blush that tends to spread across her cheeks when I lace our fingers together and she ignored the few curious glances we got from some colleagues. Most people in the building didn't seem surprised to see me pulling her by the hand; they seemed to think it commonplace, though I hadn't held Jane's hand at work like that before._

_Jane only became uncomfortable when we were surprised by Kitty and her cameraman. Was Jane embarrassed to be caught on camera? Perhaps she is fine with public displays of affection but not when someone is being nosey about it. Oddly, she was fine to hold my hand everywhere except in front of the camera. The same people have the ability to see the act, some during and some later through an image, but I fail to see the difference. Perhaps she was just surprised._

_P.s. I should ask her how she feels about it but I'm afraid she'll say she doesn't like holding my hand._

Maura looked at the entry in confusion as she bit her lip. It read more like a diary entry than scientific research, but she supposed that where emotions were involved boundaries would be crossed. Jane was messy, as were Maura's feelings for her. But Jane made Maura okay with being messy so she continued with her next entry.

_Experiment Six: Being Protective_

_Data and Analysis: I have never considered myself a particularly protective person. Caring maybe, but not protective in the way that Jane so naturally is. Though now that I think about it, I never had a reason to be. Jane gives me a reason to be. I'm beginning to feel a powerful urge to ensure her safety and I must admit that I am quite enjoying the results. So far, both times I stood up for Jane and defended her against something I found threatening, she's reacted very pleasantly. The first time she opened up emotionally and this time she embraced me physically. Whether she's conscious of it or not, she is rewarding me for being her protector._

_P.s. This is similar to mating behaviour._

_P.p.s. God, I desire mating behaviour._

Maura laughed at her post-post-scriptum before she returned her journal to the safety of her purse and continued with her nighttime routine. She now had the opportunity to verify that she also had an unusual abundance of personal items in Jane's bathroom. A second set of her (admittedly many) face creams sat on the counter. A mirror image of her shampoo and conditioner was in the shower. She had her own special toothpaste and her own drawer. As Maura showered she entertained the notion that she already _was_ in an intimate relationship with Jane; that she had been for months. Years, even. The only thing that was lacking was sex. With a mischievous smile, Maura decided that she ought to use the opportunities presented to her and begin phase two of her research. She'd all but confirmed Jane's emotional dependency and had only to test their physical boundaries… and maybe break a few.

If Maura Isles was an expert in two things, those two things would be human anatomy and fashion. Both interested her separately but Maura knew that when she combined her two favourite interests the results could be quite advantageous for her. Maura knew that her body was objectively desirable. She was symmetrical and her hourglass figure; her breast to waist to hip ratio, often left people who were attracted to women especially attracted to her. Maura knew the effect her anatomy had on people and she knew how to take advantage of that. Alone, that was already enough to get most of her suitors into bed, but adding her expertise of fashion to the mix left people drooling. Yes, she could say that, it had happened on more than one occasion. Maura wasn't blind to the jaws that dropped when she wore a particularly tight skirt or a low cut blouse. She used fashion to accentuate her anatomy and the results were, statistically speaking, quite positive.

She dried off and smirked down at the plain sweats Jane had given her, determined to use the plain polyester and cotton to test whether or not Jane desired her, too. Maura pulled the T-shirt over her head and grinned slyly. Due to Jane's thinner and taller body type, the shirt was rather tight around the abundance of Maura's chest and accentuated her curves nicely. Mixed with the chipped white writing ' _Property of the BPD'_ emblazoned on the shirt, Maura thought her chances of creating a reaction in Jane was quite high.

Happy with the result, Maura slipped the sweatpants up her legs and over the curve of her waist, rolling the waistband to leave a small strip of stomach exposed. If Jane commented Maura could say that rolling the pants in this way kept the pants from hanging too loosely around her feet. It was technically true, though that wasn't why she did it. Maura elected to towel dry her hair but leave it damp. She assessed herself in the mirror and had to breathe deeply to control the devilish smirk that had taken up residence on her face. This outfit accentuated her anatomy just as well as lingerie did and she was more than pleased. She left the bathroom and put her clothes and purse in Jane's bedroom before she followed the smell of food to the living room.

"It's already here? That was fast," she commented to gain Jane's attention. She stopped beside the couch and carefully assessed as Jane turned from the television to reply. Whatever words Jane had ready got caught in Jane's throat as her eyes widened at Maura's outfit. Jane's eyes flashed down to the skin she'd left exposed on her stomach, slowly making their way up Maura's torso to take in the way the shirt clung to Maura's breasts. Maura worked to keep a straight face as Jane subconsciously licked her lips before she swallowed loudly. Maura stood in silence at the arm of the couch and let Jane look. The hunger in Jane's eyes left trails of fire across Maura's body and she had one important thought before Jane finally responded: _I should not have forgone undergarments._

"Uhh… yeah… the food." Jane finally tore her eyes from Maura's body and Maura said nothing about the ogling, both because she liked it and because she didn't want to push Jane too quickly. She did enjoy the furious blush that overtook Jane's face. Maura liked that she could make Jane blush; she hadn't seen anyone else do it before. "The food. Yes. I uh, the owner owed me a favor so I asked him to rush it." Jane shrugged and Maura smiled as she sat on the couch next to Jane, just a tad closer than she normally would.

"That's nice. So, are we winning?" Maura pointed to the screen and used her peripheral vision to see that Jane continued to eye Maura's midriff for a moment before pulling her gaze away to look at the screen.

"Winning? Oh! Yes, we're winning. Looks like Frankie's losing our bet. Wait, we? You a Red Sox girl now?" Jane teased and Maura tried not to squirm at the low raspiness of Jane's voice. She covered the shiver that ran down her spine by reaching for the takeout boxes and handing one to Jane before she dug in.

"Yes. As I said before, our relationship thrives on equality. I drag you to yoga, you convert me into a beer-drinking, Red Sox groupie, and we both benefit from personal growth," Maura reasoned, hoping that seeing a hot blonde talk about baseball would get Jane going. She wasn't disappointed.

"You're the perfect woman," Jane stated wistfully.

"Oh darn," Maura spoke after she dropped some sauce down the front of her shirt. It _had_ been an accident, but far be it from Maura to miss an opportunity. "I'm sorry, Jane. I know how much you like this shirt." Maura used her finger to wipe up as much of the sauce as she could and then licked it off of the aforementioned finger. Jane's eyes followed the finger and she let out a long exhale and cleared her throat before responding.

"That's - _ahem_ \- that's okay Maur, it was an accident," Jane waved off. "You can keep the shirt, it looks… it looks good on you." Jane's face was redder than Maura had ever seen it and as Jane turned from her to look at the screen, Maura was sure she heard Jane mutter something akin to ' _holy fuck.'_

Pleased with her first attempt to assess Jane's sexuality, Maura decided to let it go for now. She and Jane ate in peace, Maura complimented her choice of beer, and she smiled every time Jane shouted something at one of the players. Maura knew that even if her research was changing their relationship, she'd still be able to enjoy time with Jane like this. Simply being with Jane and enjoying each other's company, occasionally engaging in an easy banter and marveling in the comfortable simplicity of it all. It was one thing that Maura treasured due to her inability to experience it with anyone else.

"Get your head outta your ass and get the fucking ball! Gah! It's like he's never held a glove before!" Jane yelled at the screen, using her whole body to express her rage. Maura took a moment to consider how expressive Jane was in all of her emotions. How Jane was passionate about everything she did, from taking care of Jo, playing sports, to following leads in a case. Everything Jane did, she gave her all in and was frequently hell-bent on being the very best. Maura bit her bottom lip as she wondered if that tenacity, that passion, would extend to the bedroom as well. She shuddered as a tingle made its way down her spine and settled low in her stomach. In her effort to arouse Jane, she had aroused herself as well and her thoughts of how Jane would treat her sexually did nothing to calm her.

"You cold? Come here." Jane motioned for Maura to lean against her and as Maura took in Jane's tight tanktop, she knew she was playing with proverbial fire. She scooted closer to Jane, who drew a blanket across them both before she settled her arm across Maura's shoulders. Maura let her head rest in the crook of Jane's neck and then they each went back to focusing on the game. Or trying to focus in Maura's case. She could feel the heat of Jane's skin and felt how hard both of their hearts were beating, so she knew that they were both at least a little bit distracted. One thing was certain; she could get used to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love drag. I DO drag. These were both good contenders for my name. :)


	5. Statistical Tactiliy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An outing feels a lot like a date until it doesn't, and Maura knows a lot about how gay Kenyan Giraffes are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight mentions of homophobia in this chapter as well, but nothing TOO horrible, I promise.

Maura took the opportunity the next morning to write an entry in the 'Jane Journal' while the detective in question took Jo Friday out for a walk before they left for work.

_Physical Response Test One_

_Data and Analysis: The initial test is positive. Jane's reaction to my body in a slightly suggestive outfit indicates an attraction on some level. Her response of licking her lips and breathing heavily would indicate sexual arousal but it remains unclear if she is aware of the response. What's interesting is that Jane simply being aroused caused my own body to react sexually. It generally takes more than a simple look to begin my sexual response cycle but I reacted very strongly to Jane's obvious appreciation of my body. This indicates strong sexual compatibility._

_P.s. This will be particularly difficult to analyze objectively, especially since I am distracted while I try to find results._

As Maura thought about her entry she doodled a little beer bottle and a box of Chinese takeout in the corner of the page. Maura snapped the book shut at the sound of keys in the door and thrust her Journal into her purse right before Jane entered with a large smile, two coffees, and a happy Jo.

"I stopped at that place we like down at the corner. I didn't want you spitting instant coffee all over my floor again," Jane teased.

"I did that _once,_ Jane, and it was in _my_ kitchen so you don't get to complain," Maura argued back as she tried and failed to hide a smile.

"Oh yeah... Hey, did you know they let dogs in this coffee shop? They gave us a free dog biscuit," Jane excitedly told Maura while cooing at Jo Friday.

"Did you eat it or did Jo?" Maura teased and laughed at the look of shock that overtook Jane's face.

"How dare you!" Jane paused and looked between Maura and Jo as if expecting the dog to defend her. "We split it. Apparently, we'll need the coffee. I got a call from Frost and I guess they found a body dump with like, twelve skeletons and other cadavers of varying degrees of decay. He threw up just talking about it. They think we've got at least forty bodies total. I told him I'd let you know and that we'd head right over."

Maura stood from her seat, ready to take on the day. She didn't get a chance to continue her tests or talk to Jane outside of work until the following Thursday.

* * *

Maura had hoped that in the weeks following her interview that the rumors might die down. She wasn't often incorrect but she was in this case. After her altercation with Kitty, several local news sources had tried to get interviews with her, Jane, their close friends, coworkers, and even Jane's family. Maura felt awful for drawing such attention to Jane. Now, along with Maura's interview, a fair few Boston news channels were running the story of her and Jane's 'love affair.' There were insane theories and several images of the two of them throughout the years that would flit across the screens, along with the image of them holding hands outside of the BPD, both looking happily at each other. Maura felt slightly guilty for thinking the image was cute. She felt even guiltier when she cut it out of a newspaper and glued it into her journal.

Maura knew her best friend didn't particularly like being the center of attention, but Jane brushed it off quite well for the most part. She told Maura several times to stop apologizing for it, that it wasn't her fault, and that she'd been a detective long enough to know how to deal with the press. It was an opinion Jane maintained until one evening when she and Maura agreed to finally go to the stuffy restaurant Maura had thought about before they'd been photographed.

Maura had fun convincing Jane to wear one of her dresses and they indulged in a bit of wine before they visited the restaurant. It was much easier for Maura to appreciate Jane's physique in a dress compared to her loose-fitting, off the rack suits. Although Jane still managed to make her work clothes aesthetically pleasing, Maura was glad to have the opportunity to study the femininity of Jane's curves in a tight little dress. Jane's hair was its usual lively self and just the way Maura liked it; curls cascading down her back and framing her face as if they had a life of their own. Her makeup was minimal and the hue of lipstick Jane wore was darker than the one in her glovebox which meant Jane had gone shopping for it. That alone was enough to make Maura feel special. The cut of the dress accentuated Jane's long neck and collarbones, and Maura wanted to run a finger across those clavicles to see how fast she could make goosebumps appear on Jane's flesh. Maura always appreciated the way Jane's musculature was built; although very strong, Jane's skeletal system was just so _long_ that she still somehow managed to look feminine; especially when the dress pushed Jane's cleavage up in a way that made Maura's heart rate increase. The dress showcased Jane's rarely seen curves and ended just below mid-thigh, where Maura's eyes traveled over the long expanse of Jane's muscular legs, made better by the heels Maura had miraculously convinced her to wear. Maura couldn't help but hum appreciatively at the specimen before her.

"What?" Jane asked as she fiddled with the hem of her dress. "Do I look stupid?"

"You look sexy." Maura gave a coy smile and Jane laughed at the comment.

"Yeah, I'm sure our waiter will be _real_ pleased," Jane snarked back, but the shy grin Jane tried to hide didn't go unnoticed.

They took a cab to the establishment and then ordered more wine and food. As always, their dinner and the time they spent together was enjoyable and they were having a great evening, accentuated by the soft red tablecloths and twinkling, yellow lights that shone around the room like candles. They even held hands on top of the table, much to Maura's delight. It seemed so normal to do it that Maura wondered why they hadn't been doing it all along. Maura regularly caught Jane looking across the table at her with the look she'd always adored but hadn't ever been able to quite place. It was something akin to adoration, but Maura had never seen anyone else look at her like that so she had no frame of reference for what it meant.

Maura had spent several moments throughout the evening appreciating Jane's beauty. Jane was unaware of how absolutely gorgeous she was but Maura could appreciate her figure. Women on Parisian runways would be jealous of Jane's bone structure… Maura just found it arousing. Thinking of Jane's long bones brought a cheeky smile to Maura's face, which Jane blushed at.

Jane tucked a few strands of wild curls behind her ear before she took a sip of wine, at which point Maura became acutely aware of Jane's lips. Maura bit her bottom lip as she began to wonder how Jane would kiss her. Would the detective be dominant and possessive like she was when interrogating a suspect or would she be gentle and take it slowly, as Jane did when she was being kind? Either way, Maura thought it would be thorough. Both fantasies invoked powerful reactions in Maura's body and she only tore her eyes away from Jane's lips when a thought occurred to her.

Maura had been planning to point out that the setting was very date-like, and explaining that it would have been a successful one, just to test Jane's reaction. Before Maura could broach the subject, Jane suddenly stiffened in her seat, let go of Maura, and leaned as far away from her as possible, folding her hands in her lap.

"Jane? What's wrong?" Maura asked as Jane's entire demeanor changed from casual and relaxed, to rigid and uncomfortable.

"Uh, I think we've got company," Jane muttered as she looked out the window beside their table. Maura followed Jane's gaze to see a man clicking a large camera at the window they sat in from across the street.

"He might be taking pictures of the building for their online profile or perhaps he's a photographer and something caught his eye. Nobody has ever tried to approach or photograph us outside of work before. Usually, they catch us entering or leaving the precinct. He might have nothing to do with the interview," Maura tried to appease Jane but she only got squirmier.

"No, I don't think so. That looks like Kitty Vansen's cameraman..." Jane complained as she began to wring her hands together.

"I thought it wasn't an issue… you've been telling me all week that you're fine dealing with the press. Why is it different if people see us now or later on the news?" Maura spoke softly to Jane to try to offer some comfort but it didn't work. Jane started clenching her jaw and breathing heavier as she shot worried glances at the man outside. Maura looked back too and a couple more people joined Kitty's cameraman in taking pictures through the window of the restaurant. Maura glared out at them, considering the likelihood that she and Jane were the focus until she heard a sniff from across the table. She looked over to see Jane fighting to hide tears that threatened to spill out of her eyes.

"Jane, please tell me what's wrong," Maura pleaded but Jane shook her head violently and squeezed her eyes shut.

"I can't. I can't do this right now, I need to leave," Jane spoke between panicked huffs of air. The table lurched as Jane stood, clattering their silverware before Jane walked briskly toward the washrooms. Maura assessed Jane's symptoms and concluded that Jane was likely suffering from some form of a panic attack. Maura stared after her in confusion for a moment before she picked up her cellphone to call the precinct and request that someone come clear the possible paparazzi. They told her they'd send Frankie.

She then stood calmly, paid their bill with a generous tip, and followed Jane. As Maura walked into the washroom she heard sniffling and her heart felt like it was in her throat. She'd never seen Jane react in such a way and she was unsure of how to deal with the delicate situation. She followed the sound of Jane's crying until she found her best friend sitting on a toilet seat with her face in her hands, failing to get herself under control.

"Jane," Maura breathed and without hesitation, she kneeled on the floor of the public washroom in front of her friend who was sitting on a toilet, and she didn't even care about the germs. "Sweetheart, tell me what's wrong." Maura gently reached up to pull Jane's hands from her face but Jane wouldn't look at her.

"I can't tell you, Maura," Jane croaked out before taking a shuddering breath.

"Why not? There's nothing you could say that would push me away, Jane, I hope you know that." Maura tried to act how Jane did when she had comforted Maura in the past; soft and slow, and kind.

"I do know that, Maur," Jane whispered through her tears. Maura took some comfort in Jane's confidence in her.

"I've never seen you like this… tell me how I can help," Maura murmured as she reached up to wipe tears away from Jane's face and then lift her chin in an attempt to get Jane to look at her.

"I just wanna go home," Jane admitted quietly while keeping her eyes focused firmly on the floor. Maura read the muscles on her face and saw fear and shame through the mascara that rad down Jane's cheeks, though Maura could not understand the cause of the reaction.

"Okay. I reported the cameramen to the precinct so they'll be gone soon. Let me call a cab and make sure the coast is clear, okay?" Maura asked before Jane nodded. Maura stood and kissed the crown of Jane's head before she left the washroom.

Maura waited until the people with cameras were forcibly removed from the scene by Frankie and then she called a cab. Jane wore a stoic mask when Maura went to get Jane from the bathroom, pulled tissues out of her purse, and offered them to Jane silently, just in case. They walked out of the washroom together, and although Maura wanted to reach out and touch Jane, she elected not to. They were silent for the entire cab ride to Jane's apartment and didn't talk until after they were both showered and in bed with the lights off. It was always easier to whisper confessions if it was impossible to see anything.

"I'm sorry I panicked," Jane whispered.

"You have nothing to be sorry for… this is all my fault," Maura muttered back as she rolled away from Jane.

"No," Jane breathed out and rolled closer to Maura to hold her from behind. "It's not your fault. It has nothing to do with that stupid interview or Kitty Vansen or even those dumb cameramen tonight. It's got nothing to do with you, okay?" Jane argued.

"Then why?" Maura asked. She simply could not wrap her head around why Jane had a panic attack in the restaurant.

"I know you don't understand and I know how much you hate that, but I can't tell you what's wrong, Maura, I can't-" Jane began to explain but her voice cracked and Maura felt a sob jerk Jane's body. Maura turned around in the embrace to hold Jane to her chest.

"Shh, it's okay. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I _am_ here for you, okay? I'm not going anywhere," Maura stated as she stroked Jane's back and kissed the top of her head. Jane nodded and Maura continued to rub calming circles onto Jane's back and whisper what she hoped were comforting words into the darkness.

Maybe she didn't understand what had made Jane so upset in the restaurant, but what she did understand without a doubt was that Jane was the most important person in Maura's life and that she would be there for support no matter what. She didn't need to know what had caused the reaction to know how to be a good friend. Right then, understanding didn't seem so important. It was enough to just be there for Jane.

* * *

The next morning as the women were waiting in line for coffee at Maura's (and suspectedly Jane's, though she denied it) favourite coffee shop, Jane surprised Maura by taking her hand in line.

"So, listen, can I talk to you about something?" Jane asked and Maura"s heartbeat began to race and her chest heated with her mounting anxiety. Her thoughts seemed to be competing with her heart to see what could go the fastest.

_Oh my God, she held my hand! That's wasn't something I considered might happen. What does it mean? What does she want to talk about? What if she knows about my research and she's taken my hand to let me down easy? Did she find my journal? What if she wants to talk about last night? But in the middle of a coffee shop? That seems odd. What if-_

"Maur?" Jane waved her free hand in front of Maura's face and she snapped out of her internal panic. She forced the polite smile she'd perfected during her parent's galas and dinner parties on her face and nodded to Jane. "Okay, first of all, stop panicking, it's nothing bad. Second of all, I know that smile, Maura. That's an Isles smile, not a Maura smile. Why are you Isles smiling at me?" Maura couldn't help but laugh, always thankful for Jane's ability to read her and ease her tensions.

"I started experiencing some symptoms of anxiety when you asked me such an ominous question," Maura admitted, leaving out the part about the hand holding. Jane laughed at her.

"When have I _ever_ asked you something ominous?" Jane looked down at Maura in confusion and Maura lifted an eyebrow at her. "Okay, fair point. Well, _this_ question isn't ominous, so get yourself together." Jane squeezed her hand and Maura nodded.

"Okay, you may talk to me about the not-ominous something… after we order." Maura motioned to the waiting server and Jane spoke.

"Yeah, she'll get a chai tea latte with soy, two extra pumps, I'll have a regular Italian roast, and uh… you want anything to eat, Maur?" Maura shook her head in the negative and Jane gave her a look of suspicion. "Two blueberry muffins and a side of those cinnamon stick thingies, please and thank you." Jane smiled politely at the barista and removed her hand from Maura's to pay. One of the things that Maura often admired about Jane was Jane's kindness to strangers, especially in the service industry. They eventually got their food and headed to a table where Jane put the food down in front of her. Maura was too anxious to tell Jane that she was about to eat entirely too much sugar.

"Okay, so... " Jane began but paused to bite her lip and take a deep breath. "So, I'm a detective, right? I like to think I'm a good one-"

"Statistically speaking you're the best one in the BPD," Maura interrupted and Jane grinned at her.

"Not fishing for compliments here, but I'll take it,'" Jane joked before she continued. "Okay, I'm _statistically speaking_ , a good detective. So I notice things and I've _detected_ recently that you've been acting sort of… different."

"Different how?" Maura tried to stall or change the subject or do anything to stop Jane from finding out about the 'Jane Journal.'

"Just different." Jane shrugged. "It's not bad or anything. You've just been more, um… what's another word for touchy-feely? I don't want to describe it like that."

"Tactile?" Maura offered while she wished physics would suspend its laws momentarily so that she might be swallowed by the Earth.

"Yeah, that! So I noticed that you've been extra _tactile_ and I was curious about why," Jane declared as she took a large bite of a muffin that Maura fleetingly thought looked rather good.

"Oh, sorry, I can stop if you don't like-"

"No, that's not why I brought it up. I held _your_ hand in line today to show you that I don't mind. I was just wondering why you're doing it," Jane explained and Maura considered the words. She couldn't lie, but she wasn't sure if Jane could handle the truth based on the unknown trigger for Jane's panic attack the night before. She had to be as honest and as secretive as possible.

"It's for science," Maura decided and Jane's eyebrows raised in confusion.

"You're holding my hand a lot for science?" Jane repeated in disbelief.

"Re-research, yes," Maura stuttered nervously and Jane frowned at her.

"Listen, I don't want to be some kind of guinea pig-"

"No!" Maura yelled loudly enough to gain several looks from other patrons so she quieted. "No. You're not a guinea pig. I'm not using you for research I'm… using research… for _you,_ " Maura tried to explain as much as she could without having to tell Jane anything she wasn't ready for. She held her breath as Jane processed, occasionally glancing down at the second muffin Jane had purchased, suddenly starving.

"I _knew_ you wanted a muffin." Jane chuckled before she pushed the item across to Maura who smiled widely and tore a bit off so that she could eat it. "So… you're not doing all of this stuff to like, use me for some weird science experiment or something?" Jane asked in a manner much less hostile than she'd used previously. Maura shook her head in the negative as she ate. "And you _clearly_ don't want to tell me what it's about, right?" Maura considered Jane's question and tore off more of the muffin.

"No, I think it would be best to keep it to myself until it's finished," Maura reasoned.

"Are you going to tell me what you're researching eventually?" Jane questioned and Maura was glad to see that among the seriousness in Jane's eyes, the usual mischievous spark was back. "Because as the _statistical_ best detective in Boston, I could probably figure it out anyway."

"Yes. Once I've drawn a reasonable conclusion I will show you my findings," Maura promised. Whether the end result was Jane loving her back or not, Maura knew that she wouldn't be able to keep her own feelings at bay for much longer. "I'm afraid you might not like the results," Maura admitted. Maura was surprised to find that she wasn't afraid of ruining her and Jane's friendship. Their bond was much too strong for that. She was concerned Jane wouldn't return her feelings, but with everything they'd already gone through, she knew they would make it through this together too.

"See, now _that's_ ominous!" Jane chuckled. "Listen, I don't know what you're looking into, but no matter what the end result is, I'll still be your friend if that's what you're worried about," Jane tried to comfort Maura, and for the first time since the beginning her research, she felt like her heart might break because of it.

_No matter the end result… she'll be my friend_. She didn't want to be Jane's friend. She wanted to be Jane's everything. Jane was everything Maura wasn't and everything she needed and Maura wanted to be Jane's everything too. Maura dipped her head to hide the tears that threatened and began to blink them away, but Jane noticed and slid the cinnamon sticks across the table toward her.

"I got these for your lacrimal gland." Jane smirked and Maura laughed before she wiped her eyes gently to not ruin her makeup.

"You got extra treats because you thought I might cry?" Maura chuckled out.

"Yeah, that and because your stomach is like a black hole," Jane teased. "For such a little woman, you eat _a lot._ Do you have a hollowed-out leg? Do you even _know_ how much food you've stolen off of my plates?" Maura laughed along at Jane's teasing as she remembered all the fries and burgers and unhealthy food options she'd stolen from her best friend.

"You know me so well," Maura said, tears no longer threatening.

"Yeah, I know. Best detective in Boston, remember?" Jane sassed, reached for Maura's hand again and they ate the rest of their food in mostly companionable silence, sometimes bantering easily, until they had to go to work. Maura took some time to sit alone in her office and used a blank page in her journal to sketch an image of her and Jane's hands clasped together on top of the breakfast table next to a muffin. It was a rather good drawing. She might've even shown it to her mother if she didn't feel like such a lovesick adolescent. Maura chuckled at herself and then decided to draw a tiny, anatomically correct heart above the clasped hands she'd drawn. Underneath, she wrote _'She held my hand on her own! TWICE!'_ And then she got to work.

* * *

Upon entering the bullpen with the results for their latest case, Maura could tell that something was off. Jane sat rigidly at her desk and Frost glared across the room to where Crowe and his partner were. They seemed very pleased with themselves, the complete opposite of Jane and Barry. Crowe brightened up even more at the sight of Maura but she ignored him as she usually did and headed to Jane's desk.

"I have the results ready. Your suspect's DNA was found under the victim's fingernails. This case, as you might say, has solved itself. Though it did take several hours of lab work and taxpayer's-"

"So," Crowe interrupted Maura's ranting and Jane stiffened in her chair, turning to glare at him. "When's the wedding? Am I invited?"

"Fuck off, Darren," Jane snarked, completely uninterested in what he had to say.

"What? I just wanted to congratulate the happy couple," he said and Maura had spent enough time around Jane to believe he was using sarcasm.

"Okay, you've done so, now go do some actual work for once?" Frost glared from his desk.

"Bet you're both glad to be in Massachusetts, huh?" Crowe continued as if Frost hadn't spoken.

"Why?" Maura couldn't help but ask.

"Gay marriage is at least legal here. Which is why I asked if I'd be getting an invite because I never want to miss an opportunity to see two chicks make out."

" _Excuse_ me?" Jane scoffed from her chair. "Chicks? Are you kidding? Yeah, we've been waiting to make out in front of you for our whole lives." Her sarcasm was almost palpable.

"Better in front of me than in front of Danny down in filing. Man, when he heard about you two he _freaked_ out. It was like a ten-minute rant about how unnatural gays are and how you're both going to hell-"

"What the fuck did you just say to them?" Frost stood from his desk so suddenly that his chair tipped over and Maura noticed several things in the split second after the chair hit the ground. She saw absolute terror in Jane's eyes as she looked at Crowe. She saw that terror dissipate slightly as her brown eyes moved to look at Frost who looked like he was ready to tackle Crowe and beat him senseless. She noticed Jane's eyes land on her momentarily and then Jane's usual 'I'm-a-badass-detective-and-I-don't-take-anyone's-shit' look was back. Jane held a hand up to Frost to signal that he shouldn't do anything and then she smiled at Maura.

"Hey Maur, how many species in nature have homosexual relationships?" Jane asked calmly and Maura scoffed at her.

"Jane, that would take me _hours_ to list. There are hundreds of species that display homosexual tendencies," Maura complained. Jane and Frost shared a grin that Maura didn't understand, but she turned to Darren Crowe nonetheless and continued. "Furthermore, I'd have to go into detail about _how_ different species participate in same-sex courtship, affection, parenting, pair-bonding, let alone the species that have same-sex intercourse. The diversity I'd need to describe the list would take me days to explain."

"I'm sure he'd love to hear about it. Darren loves to learn, right Frost?" Jane asked as she turned to her partner.

"Yeah, he was just saying before you came up here that he'd listen to you talk for hours, isn't that right, Crowe? He sure has been asking a lot of questions about same-sex species lately… someone should educate him before he gets reported for accidentally saying something stupid." Frost eyed Crowe as if he'd just uttered a threat. Maura felt as though she was missing something important but she looked at Darren Crowe, who seemed annoyed, but he nodded.

"Well, I suppose I can give you a quick run-down…" Maura spoke for thirty-seven minutes about unique mating patterns and animal parenting styles of several of her favourite species. "...Take giraffes for example. Over ninety percent of sex among giraffes is same-sex sex, especially Kenyan giraffes, which are especially homosexual. It's actually rather interesting that they haven't gone extinct..." She noted that Jane and Frost seemed entertained and they kept urging Maura to go into more detail which was rare, but she enjoyed the opportunity to educate and speak about animals that she loved. Crowe listened and scowled at Jane as Maura listed off facts. "... and those are only a few of the relationships that are documented among mammals, birds, fish, reptiles, amphibians, insects, and other invertebrates. Does that help to answer your questions?"

"Yeah…" Crowe answered in an odd, bored tone. The response was positive but his body language seemed tired and disinterested with his slumped shoulders and dragging feet. It didn't match up. Maura got a distinct impression that she was missing something obvious again but she was too busy to waste more of her work time on him.

"I'm glad. Now I have to get back to work if you'll excuse me," Maura tried to politely dismiss him and he glared at Jane and Frost before he moved to go flop into his desk chair. Jane and Frost burst out laughing as he walked away. "What's funny?"

"You're amazing, you know that?" Jane complimented and Maura's cheeks grew warm.

"I don't understand, Jane. Why did detective Crowe want to learn about same-sex species?" Maura prompted and Frost grinned at Jane.

"He's been bugging me since the interview and I thought since he's been so damn curious, that he might benefit from your knowledge." Jane shrugged and smirked. Maura had seen that smirk thousands of times and knew now that they were keeping something from her. That was the smirk Jane had when she was up to something. Maura thought back over the encounter and picked out the things that particularly stood out.

"Does this have something to do with detective Crowe saying he'd listen to me talk for hours? That's what Barry said you were discussing before I arrived, and you both seemed quite angry," Maura worked through her thoughts out loud, hoping to find what she was missing.

"Don't worry about it, doc, he's just being an ass, as usual," Frost brushed off and he picked his chair back up and sat in it.

"I'm sorry that my interview is causing you so much trouble, Jane. I didn't want your coworkers to tease you," Maura apologized and felt more tears start to prick in her eyes and she cursed the connection her amygdala had with her lacrimal gland for what must have been the billionth time.

"Hey, no, it's okay." Jane reached out for one of Maura's hands and pulled her closer to the desk. "He wasn't saying anything bad about me." Jane tried to soothe and Maura could tell that she was telling the truth, but she now also knew who Crowe must have been talking about to invoke such a strong reaction in Jane.

"Oh… so he was speaking negatively about me?" Maura concluded. She was used to people teasing her and it was better that people make fun of her than to tease Jane in her opinion. She cleared her throat from emotion, willed herself not to cry, and lifted her chin proudly as her mother taught her to do. "What, uh… what did he say?"

"You don't need to hear it, Maura," Jane warned, her brown eyes pleading. Maura raised an eyebrow to tell Jane that she wouldn't back down.

"What did he say, Jane? He said he would listen to me talk for hours… in exchange for what?" Maura knew she had assessed correctly when Jane groaned and Frost cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"Fine! I'll tell you, but remember that he's just an ass and you shouldn't give a shit about what he says, okay?" Jane said and she removed her hand from Maura's to rub her face in frustration. "He said… he said that if he got to hit it like I do, then he'd put up with your Googlemouth too…"

"Hit it?" Maura asked for clarification and Frost piped up when Jane's cheeks just reddened.

"He meant sex... with you."

"Oh…" Maura put the pieces together. "Oh! Jane, that's harassment! He needs to be reprimanded."

"Oh, he was," Jane smirked and Maura finally understood everything.

"Darren Crowe doesn't give a rat's ass about same-sex species, does he?" Maura asked, not sure if she should be upset that Jane had used her 'Googlemouth' as punishment for Crowe, or entertained and proud that Jane had taken advantage of it to diffuse a tense situation. Frost raised his eyebrows, likely due to the surprise of Maura swearing and Jane bit her bottom lip in an attempt to hide a grin.

"Well, he _has_ been asking which one of us straps it on in bed all week, so… he kinda does?" Jane shrugged with a guilty grimace on her face. "Plus I liked hearing about all those animals anyway… I like it when you talk about stuff you like and... it's good to learn that being gay isn't just a human thing."

"You are impossible. Jane, why haven't you reported him to HR? Or to Cavanaugh at least?" Maura prompted but Jane turned away from her and became interested in playing with the corner of her mouse pad. "This is workplace harassment."

"I can't, Maura," Jane whispered and Maura heard the same tone that Jane had used in the restaurant the night before. The defeated tone so rarely heard from Jane.

"We're going to have to talk about this at some point," Maura murmured so that Frost couldn't hear.

"Fine. When you tell me about your research, I'll tell you about… this," Jane stated with an air of finality.

"I don't want to force you into telling me something you're uncomfortable with, I just want to make sure you're okay," Maura tried to reason and Jane's face softened.

"I know, Maura." Jane stood and placed a gentle kiss to the side of Maura's temple and then took the file out of Maura's hands. "So, the case solved itself, huh?" Jane asked and then cleared her throat, indicating that she was back in work mode.

"That's how you would phrase it, yes," Maura agreed.

"Thank God! We have so much paperwork to catch up on," Frost complained from his desk.

"I'll leave you to it then." Maura smiled at the pair of them but before she could walk away, Jane grabbed her hand and squeezed it while looking into Maura's eyes. She thought the look was a silent 'thank you' so she nodded before squeezing back and walking away, pausing at detective Crowe's desk and speaking loudly enough for Jane to hear. "I hope I've answered your questions adequately enough that you needn't ask detective Rizzoli anything more? The person I report harassment claims to is the governor and I'm sure he'd be interested to know if you continue." She spoke in a clipped, daring tone and Crowe's eyes widened in surprise and fear. His microexpressions were easy for Maura to read. He nodded minutely and turned back to his work. She walked out of the room, pausing at the doorway to catch both Jane and Frost staring after her with twin grins on their faces. She smiled back before she completed the journey to her lab where she wrote.

_~~Experiment...~~ _ _No, not an experiment… Perhaps just an entry._

_I'm worried about Jane. She seems fine right up until she's panicking and I don't know what to make of it. The first time she seemed to have a negative reaction to our developing friendship/relationship was when Kitty caught us holding hands. The second time being when we got caught in a date-like setting at the restaurant…_

_Although I don't personally see the difference, it seems to me that Jane is incredibly uncomfortable with being surprised by people's interest in us. What's odd is her complete ease and confidence to hold my hand in public, and even kiss my hair or cheek… it doesn't add up with the absolute terror I've seen in her face on the three occasions she was taken off guard. The surprising photograph, the night at the restaurant, and today, when Darren Crowe said something homophobic. It doesn't make sense for her to be completely confident in her actions and completely open-minded one moment but then so afraid the next._

_If I had to guess, which I do not like to do, I would entertain the notion of internalized homophobia or perhaps catholic guilt. It seems odd though because Angela is not a homophobic person and Jane has never said anything about her Catholic upbringing being prejudiced in that way. Jane's pretended to be my lover in front of Giovanni a handful of times and was fine with it. She even did well when we were undercover at Merch and seemed perfectly at ease surrounded by women who were drawn to her. How could she be able to hold my hand and look at me the way she does if she had internalized some form of homophobia? It simply doesn't make sense._

Maura was interrupted from her writing by a knock on the door and she quickly hid her journal away before she beckoned whoever it was to enter.

"Hey, Maura," Frankie smiled as he walked into the room and sat in a chair across from her.

"Hello, _what's up,_ Frankie," Maura asked, trying to sound casual and failed. Frankie laughed but she didn't mind being the butt of the joke for him.

"Oh, I just heard that you made Crowe shit his pants, and firstly, I wanted to ask you for some tips about how to shut him up," he paused and Maura chuckled at the strange compliment, "and secondly, I wanted to say thanks for standing up for Jane. She doesn't even let me do that." Maura would have been worried that he was jealous if it wasn't for his smile.

"Well, I don't know if I can give you any tips for how to silence detective Crowe, and I should point out that he did not defecate," Maura corrected Frankie and he laughed.

"It's just a saying and I was joking. I know nothing can really shut him up. God, he's stupid. I can't believe I was ever worried about passing the detective's exam with that guy walking around," Frankie sassed and Maura nodded in agreement. "...Just, thanks for looking out for my sister… I don't know if all this stuff in the news is true or what, but… I'd be happy if it was."

"You would?" Maura asked. She was surprised.

"Course! She lets you keep her safe, you know? I mean, don't tell her I said anything… she tries to act all tough, and she _is,_ but… she needs someone. You're kinda perfect for her, actually." Frankie chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. Maura's face scrunched up in confusion at him. "Whatever, it's not my business. If you wanted me to know what was going on you'd tell me. I just wanted to say that I'm happy you guys are friends or whatever the hell you are and that I'm here if for you if you wanna talk, alright?" He spoke the kind words with sass and Maura grinned at the similarity of him and his sister. She felt close enough to Frankie to be comfortable opening up to him… just a little bit.

"May I… May I ask you a question of a personal nature?" She asked and his eyebrows shot up just as Susie's had which caused her to laugh. "I've been conducting some personal research and I was wondering if I may ask about your upbringing."

"Oh! Yeah sure. You pretty much know it all, though. Wondering about the complexities of Italian households?"

"I was wondering about your religion, actually. Angela seems supportive and so do you, but Jane's… well, I was curious to know if you experienced any prejudice in your church or if you were taught that people of the LGBTQ community were 'sinners' in school or while you were growing up in such a religious environment…" Maura stated carefully, not alluding to Jane's strange behaviour.

"What? No! We had gay couples in our church growing up and our school had a few openly gay kids. Most of the nuns seemed fine with it except for one, but she was angry about everything. Sister Mae… man, she was mean... Nobody really said _anything_ about being gay, actually. There was this one priest for a while who tried to do a pretty homophobic sermon, but Father Crowley interrupted it and it didn't happen again. I don't really remember him because I was so young, but he only worked at the school for about a year. I think he had a kid a couple of grades higher than me." He shrugged as he thought about it. Maura assessed that as Catholic schools go, the one the Rizzoli's chose seemed like a good one.

"And your parents… they never said being interested in the same sex was bad?" Maura pressed, hoping for a positive outcome.

"God, no!" Frankie chuckled some more and then blushed. "Listen, don't tell this to any of the guys... I was what you might call a late bloomer, alright? I didn't have a girlfriend until after high school and my Ma sat me down one day and went on a _huge_ speel about how it was okay if I liked guys. She thought I was gay for like, a year-" Frankie paused to roll his eyes before he continued "-anyway, my Pop shrugged it off and said 'you love who you love,' and that's all… no big deal. Not all Catholic people are homophobic, ya know? And the ones that are aren't following the Bible that well if you ask me," Frankie ended smartly and Maura smiled at him before she nodded in agreement.

"Thank you for telling me. It's helpful," Maura admitted.

"Sure. I'm gonna go ask Crowe about gay giraffes now." Frankie smirked mischievously and Maura laughed.

"He should have quite a lot to tell you, I went into detail quite a lot with the giraffes," Maura joked and Frankie stood from his chair to leave.

"You're awesome," he complimented, and then he was gone, leaving Maura to ponder about Jane in peace, getting no closer to understanding the complexities of her best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Giraffes are my favourite animal, especially Kenyan giraffes. They're so weird. I love them.  
> Beach day next. Swimsuits, ice cream... sunscreen... :)  
> I know Jane's not usually a crier, but you'll find out soon enough why she's behaving so oddly. As much as she doesn't like to show her emotions, I do know that she has a lot of them and that she's most comfortable being vulnerable with Maura, so for the sake of this story, she's gonna cry a couple more times probably. :P I hope I'm doing her character justice.


	6. What's the Scoop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beach day!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I just wanted to give the characters a bit more fluff to even out all the heavier stuff. :)  
> What better way than to have a cute little beach day? Mostly fluff, with a dash of important plot.

"Maura?" Jane called from somewhere in the house but Maura couldn't quite locate where the voice was coming from. She'd just gotten home from a jog and hadn't expected to find Jane in her house because they hadn't made plans that morning.

"Jane?" She called back in surprise as she kicked off her runners.

"I'm in here!" Jane's muffled voice yelled, and Maura shook her head.

"I don't know where 'here' is, Jane!" She grabbed her water bottle from the fridge and moved to stand in the hallway that led to her spare room, bedroom, downstairs bathroom, and home office. "Here?"

"Ugh! _Maura!"_ The voice called from somewhere else, so she climbed halfway up the stairs of her home and called out again.

"Up here?" She asked, now growing concerned as to why Jane wasn't just coming out.

"For the love of God! I am in here!" Jane shouted in frustration from somewhere downstairs, her voice muffled, out of breath, and very, very distant. Maura moved back down the stairs and looked at the two remaining possible doors. _Closet or pantry? Closet or pantry?_ Maura mused in her head. _Jane likes food more than she likes clothes…_

Maura walked over to the pantry door and opened it to find an embarrassed looking Jane.

"I'm stuck," Jane said. Maura tilted her head to the side while she assessed what she was looking at.

"Are you injured?" She asked and Jane rolled her eyes.

" _No,_ I'm stuck!" Jane complained and Maura tried to hide her grin, she really did, but it came anyway and Jane groaned. "Maura! Help me!"

"Okay, I just have to do one thing first." Maura held up a finger and removed her phone from her pocket.

"Are you seriously taking a picture of me right now?" Jane complained and Maura laughed.

"Absolutely, I think you look great," Maura admitted and she took photos of Jane pouting, stuck between two shelves, one of which had fallen, covered head to toe in flour, and surrounded by several cans and boxes of tea, preservatives, and baking goods. "What, may I ask, are you doing in my pantry, besides causing mayhem?"

"Well I was _trying_ to get some flour for Ma, but you keep it so high up that even _I_ can't reach it and I couldn't find a ladder and I figured, 'hey, Maura's rich, _she's_ probably got secure shelving,' but _no!_ Apparently, you use the same crap as the rest of us because I climbed up to grab the flour, and the next thing I know I'm falling, covered in flour, stuck in my best friend's pantry screaming for help as million-dollar panda poop tea boxes are hitting me in the head!" Maura couldn't help but laugh at the scene before her and her stomach was starting to hurt as she struggled to control her breathing. "It isn't funny, Maura!"

"I'm so sorry, Jane," Maura chuckled out and then moved into the pantry to push the shelf off of Jane and back into place.

"I am so mad at you right now," Jane complained.

"Me? What did I do?" Maura asked, still trying to cover up her smirk. "You're the one who was stealing my flour, Jane. I was out jogging."

"Yeah, and then you came in and you took pictures of me instead of helping me. I could have been seriously injured or horribly disfigured."

"I asked if you were hurt first, Jane. And I like the pictures… so..." Maura chuckled out and Jane narrowed her eyes.

"You know what? You're right. You did the right thing, I'm sorry," Jane said in an unexpectedly calm tone.

"I did? You are?" Maura tilted her head to the side. 

"Yes, you're a really good friend and person. In fact, I'm grateful. I'm indebted to you, Maur. I _must_ repay you," Jane continued in her intriguing, serious tone.

"It was nothing…" Maura stated in confusion. "There's no need for repayment."

"I insist. Best friends repay each other for things like this. It's like you said before, our relationship thrives on equality and I know exactly how I would like to thank you for helping me out," Jane finished with a twitch of her mouth and Maura narrowed her eyes in suspicion.

"Uh-huh, how's that?" She asked. 

Jane opened her arms wide and smiled as she declared her intentions.

"Magic yoga hug!" She declared and Maura's eyes widened before she shook her head and quickly backed away from the pantry only to be pursued by the most determined person she'd ever met. Resistance was futile. She knew it deep in her bones. She slowly backed away from Jane until she was on one side of the island and Jane was on the other.

They entered a staredown, both waiting for the other to break. Maura fleetingly thought of the way wolves postured before fighting. She gulped, glanced around her kitchen for something to help her, and saw a carton of eggs placed just a tad closer to her than to Jane. Jane followed her gaze and dared Maura to try to go for it with a quirked brow.

They moved at the same moment and although Maura knew she was about to make a big mess in her kitchen, it was worth it to have fun with Jane. She thought she had the advantage but Jane was quicker. Instead of reaching for the eggs, Jane reached for Maura's waist and tried to pull her from her ammunition. She wasn't quite fast enough though, so Maura was able to grab three eggs, one of which was immediately crushed between their bodies, leaving a sticky, uncomfortable mess, and Maura with one egg in each hand.

"I just wanted a hug!" Jane yelled as she reached to steal one of Maura's eggs. "Have you learned _nothing_ about situational negotiation?" Jane held tightly to Maura with one hand while reaching for an egg with the other. Maura, seeing an opportunity in Jane's distraction, took the egg from one hand and broke it on Jane's flour-covered curls. Jane gasped and scowled at Maura as she finally wrestled the last egg out of Maura's hand. "You do realize that you got yourself into this mess, right?" Jane asked.

"Mhmm," Maura mumbled with a pout, although she was secretly delighted.

"And you're aware of what I am about to do with this egg, correct?" Jane furthered her argument and Maura sighed.

"Yeah..." She accepted her fate but that didn't keep her from pouting about it. Jane, still with one arm wrapped around Maura's waist, glanced down at Maura's pouting lips and smirked.

"Good!" Jane said, suddenly very excited, and then in one swift motion, she cracked the egg over Maura's ponytail. Jane wiped the excess egg on her shirt before she wrapped her second arm around Maura's waist and smiled as she held her. "Are you sorry for laughing at me and taking a picture of me while I was stuck?" Jane asked and Maura giggled.

"No." Maura smiled up at Jane who was grinning down at her. They were interrupted by the sound of a click and they turned to see Tommy standing with a camera.

"Lookin' good, Janie. I like the white. It suits you." he smirked and Jane groaned.

"Oh, _Come on!_ Tommy! What are you doing here?" Jane complained as she loosened her grip on Maura to turn and face her youngest brother.

"I'm just dropping off TJ. Ma said she'd watch him for the next couple of days so I can help Giovanni in the shop. Ma was wondering what was taking you so long," Tommy chuckled at the sight of the women. "Oh, uh, is that cool with you, Maura, if TJ stays with Ma for a couple of days? He sure misses you, by the way."

"Yeah, butter her up, kid. That'll get you what you want," Jane rolled her eyes.

"Yeah right. Looks like you _battered_ her up, Janie," he sassed and then turned to Maura. "Can't believe of all the Rizzoli siblings you picked this one," he joked but Maura's face heated. She looked at Jane who scowled and felt comfort ease through her body.

"What can I say? I'm a sucker for women with high cheekbones," Maura admitted, careful not to confirm or deny Tommy's assumption, so as not to cause confusion with Angela, and then she changed the subject. "I'm always happy to have TJ here. He's a delight, though I'd rather clean up in here before he comes to the main house…" Tommy laughed and nodded his head.

"Okay, thanks. I'll go tell Ma not to bring him over for a bit. Wanna play chess when I come to pick him up?"

"You're on," Maura agreed. Tommy grinned and then turned to Jane.

"You know Ma's gonna be pissed about the flour, right?" He looked at Jane and they rolled their eyes at each other.

"Yeah, well, _you_ deal with that. Get outta here before I crack an egg on you," Jane threatened and Tommy smiled at the pair of them before he waved and left to the guest house.

"You're so lucky, Jane," Maura smiled as she got the cleaning supplies.

"Because I have two knucklehead brothers and a mother that sends me on flour heists?" Jane asked and Maura laughed.

"That's exactly why," Maura confirmed and Jane grabbed the broom out of her hand.

"Let me do that. I made the mess, I'll clean it up. Plus you're probably going crazy thinking about what that egg is doing to your hair routine right now. Go shower." Jane pointed to the bathroom and Maura's shoulders relaxed.

"Thank you," Maura stated and without thinking, she lifted herself onto her toes to kiss Jane's cheek. She pulled away to find Jane with a goofy lopsided smile; one she was sure she mirrored, and then she walked down the hall to clean herself up. Maura caught her reflection in the mirror and although she was sweaty from her run, covered in flour and egg, arguably messier than she ever had been, she looked and felt happier than she ever had before. Her microexpressions indicated contentment and she had a happy glow in her cheeks. She was so grateful to Jane for teaching her about fun and playing. Growing up, Maura had hobbies but they were more targeted toward brain development and character growth. It wasn't until she met Jane that she'd experienced fun for the sake of fun. She felt entirely lucky to have a messy disaster in her kitchen. She waited for Jane to be in the shower later before she moved to her office to write in her journal.

_Experiment Seven - Playful Compatibility_

_Data and Analysis: Jane shows me so much about what it means to enjoy life. I've always adored the finer things; wine, art, the Musée d'Orsay, but Jane teaches me how to just have fun and enjoy the simplicity of life. There's a beauty in playing that leaves me in just as much a state of awe as Euler's number e. She's everything I've been missing. Where growing up the kids in school would never pick me for their teams, Jane is the first one to throw me the metaphorical ball. Maybe not with baseball, but I'm getting better! The point is that it doesn't matter if I'm good at baseball or not, Jane at the very least invites me to the game. I'm going to drop the baseball metaphor now._

_She isn't afraid to make fun of herself or make a bit of a mess to have a good time and I love that about her. It's so freeing to experience a day with Jane Rizzoli. I can only imagine that the result of this experience is positive. She held me until we got interrupted by Tommy (and she didn't panic), and then even offered to clean up. I know that's not exactly impressive because she made most of the mess, but it was still thoughtful for her to think about my hair, which I was admittedly worried about._

_P.s. Is it crazy to love someone because they care about your hair washing routine? I don't care, I'm doing it anyway._

Experiment Eight - A Surprise Kiss

_Data and Analysis: She has the greatest, goofiest smile. I feel like this is what my first crush should have felt like. I'm so enamored by her. I didn't even realize I'd kissed her cheek until after I'd done it. It was the most natural thing in the world. I'd never done it before but it felt like I had. It feels like I should have been doing it all the while. That smile is the best reward._

_P.s. It is a scientific impossibility for eyes to sparkle, but hers don't seem to care what science says is impossible._

Maura reread her entries and grinned as she slowly used one foot to turn back and forth in her chair while her other leg was tucked up to support the journal in her lap. Maura drew a quick sketch on the free page next to her latest entries of a couple of cracked eggs, but instead of yolk, she drew a bunch of hearts floating up out of the shells.

* * *

"Let's go say hello to Maura!" Jane spoke from around the corner of Maura's office sometime later and a squeal of excitement was the only warning before TJ ran into the room and climbed directly into Maura's lap.

"Hi, Mo!" He greeted her and threw his arms around her neck in a tight hug.

"Hello, TJ," Maura responded and smiled widely at Jane over his shoulder. "Someone told me that you drew a very nice picture of Bass at school!"

"I did! Tony said it was a turtle, but I told him no! Bass is a, uhh… African spear tortoise! I told him!" TJ proudly informed Maura.

"African spurred tortoise, good job!" Maura both corrected and congratulated the tiny human so as not to hurt his feelings.

"TJ was wondering if we could go to the beach with Nona," Jane said from where she leaned against the doorframe.

"Maybe we'll see more Basses there!" TJ shook with excitement and looked expectantly at Maura for information.

"We might see some painted turtles, I've seen those there before," Maura offered and TJ frowned as if deep in thought.

"Painted turtles? What's their _real_ name, Mo?" TJ asked and expectantly looked at Maura as if there was no possible way 'painted turtle' was an actual name. He'd noticed early on that Maura used scientific names for a lot of things and made a habit of asking her what things 'real names' were. She smiled at him, completely loving the game they played.

"Chrysemys picta." Maura grinned down at him and he stared at her as if she was crazy.

"Chrysem... We took a Christmas picture when Santa was coming… what does Santa have to do with painting turtles?" He asked and Jane laughed from the doorway. Maura wasn't sure how she always had these misunderstandings with TJ but he seemed to love her anyway so she didn't mind much.

"Santa loves turtles," Maura stated matter of factly, and Jane raised an eyebrow at her. It wasn't a lie. Santa was fictional, he could hypothetically love anything.

"How do you know that, doctor Isles?" Jane sassed.

"You know Santa?" TJ asked with wide, awestruck eyes. "Tell him I want a Bass, please."

"Okay, I'll bring it up in the next conversation I have with Santa." Maura grinned at the complete handle she had as she danced close to the line of lying.

"So… beach?" Jane saved her.

"Yes, I'd love to go to the beach with you, TJ," Maura said, glad to be on a safer topic than Santa.

"Perfect! You know all the cool stuff! Can we learn about shells? Oh! Let's learn about clouds! Auntie Jane says you love clouds!" TJ climbed down off of Maura's lap and walked over to hold Jane's hand, beckoning for Maura to follow.

"She did?" Maura asked him as she followed them through the house, TJ holding onto one of each of their hands as he pulled them toward the guest house.

"Ya, she said she showed you how to watch them. She _said_ you looked prettier than the clouds though. Do you learn a lot from Auntie Jane?"

"I do," Maura smiled down at him and then looked up to find Jane blushing.

"Me too, she's my best friend," TJ declared and Maura's smile deepened.

"Mine too."

* * *

The beach wasn't particularly busy and the families and couples that were there were content to just enjoy a lazy day in the sun. It was peaceful. Maura wondered if people assumed that she and Jane were TJ's parents. Maura didn't want children of her own, but the idea of people thinking that she and Jane were together in such a way did appeal to her. She wanted to be Jane's family. Jane looked over and smiled at her and Maura shook her head at herself because she realized she already _was_ Jane's family. One would be hard-pressed to wipe the grin off of Maura's face after she realized that.

"Maura, you look so lovely. I don't know how you manage to make everything look so good," Angela complimented and Maura tilted her head to the side.

"What do you mean?" Maura asked as she looked down at her simple white sandals, white shorts, and sky-blue blouse.

"She's talking about that house of a hat you're wearing," Jane teased and then glanced up at the rather large and floppy beach hat.

"I'll have you know that this is a Neiman Marcus, and it is both stylish and effective in its purpose," Maura argued, not bothered by Jane's teasing.

"Is its purpose to turn you into an umbrella?" Jane asked and Maura pinched her side causing Jane to wack her hands away.

"Leave Mo alone, she looks pretty as a cloud," TJ defended and Maura laughed brightly.

"Yes, stop teasing Maura!" Angela agreed before she motioned to a small yellow ice cream hut. "I'm gonna go get in line, I want a sundae." 

Jane led Maura and TJ through the sand, kneeling after finding a 'good spot.'

"TJ," Jane said, "you're really great at saying lots of words, bud. Do you have a hard time with Maura's name?" 

"I can say 'Maura!' She likes 'Mo!'" TJ argued and Jane raised her eyebrows at him before she looked at Maura for confirmation.

"He's right, I quite like it… only from him though. And why is that?" Maura playfully asked TJ.

"Cause you're Mo, so you get 'Mo' hugs and you get 'Mo' kisses," TJ recited the pun through a toothy grin and Maura laughed, entertained and proud of his complete grasp of the joke.

"You taught him that?" Jane asked and TJ ran off to join Angela in line at the ice cream stand.

"No, actually. I asked him for one more hug last year after Easter dinner and now he gives me one regular hug when he leaves, and one 'Mo' hug when he leaves," Maura stated. As much as she didn't want kids of her own, she was always pleased to spend time with TJ.

"Ahh, so that's what's up with all the special treatment. Here I thought he hated me. Just one hug. The nerve," Jane joked and Maura smirked at her.

"Earlier today he said you were his best friend."

"Uh-huh, and he said _you_ know all the cool stuff, which is true." Jane grinned and then pulled a large towel out of her bag before laying it in the sand. Maura smiled as she remembered what else TJ had said earlier. "What's with the face?"

"I'm not making a face," Maura denied. She wasn't making a face on _purpose,_ she was just smiling because Jane had said she was prettier than clouds and she felt giddy, and a little bit ridiculous for feeling giddy.

" _Yes,_ you are. You look like you just won the lottery. Wait no, you're already rich… you look like…" Jane paused to think. "You look like you do when you find _particularly intriguing_ stomach contents, only happier so… what's with the face?" Jane repeated and Maura shrugged, knowing that if she told the truth, Jane would likely become too embarrassed to know what to do.

"I'm simply enjoying my time at the beach," Maura deflected, laid her own towel down, and changed the subject. "Did you put sunscreen on?"

" _Yes,_ doctor Isles, and I'll reapply it if I go swimming or in two hours as recommended by whoever wrote on the bottle that I should reapply it in two hours," Jane sassed and the corners of Maura's lips tilted up in the hint of a smile.

"Oh, look at you being responsible," Maura teased as she got settled on her towel.

"You like that?" Jane asked in an equally sultry tone and Maura raised an eyebrow at her.

"Oh, I do. I really, really do," Maura said seriously and Jane laughed, pushing Maura's shoulder.

"You're such a goof," Jane chuckled out right before Maura was thrust into a world of torture all because of the simple removal of a tank top. Sweet, oblivious Jane confidently tugged the material over her head and carelessly tossed the shirt into her backpack, kicked off her sandals, and braced her body weight on her hands as she leaned back. Jane tilted her face to the sky with her eyes closed, letting the sun warm her already sun-kissed, almost bronze skin.

Maura couldn't hope to tear her eyes away as she greedily took in Jane's windswept curls, the easy smile on Jane's face, the curve of her neck as she looked up into the sky, oblivious to her beauty and the effect she had. Maura's heart hammered as her eyes moved to the swell of Jane's breasts, enveloped in a basic, string-tied, black bikini top. Maura wet her lips at the sight and let her eyes roam over the expanse of Jane's stomach, longing for Jane to also remove her tattered, well-worn cutoff jean shorts. She imagined how long it would take for Jane to push the shorts down her endless legs. Maura had to touch. Her eyes swept again over Jane's body until they landed on the bullet wound scar on Jane's torso and Maura reached out to graze the skin around the entrance wound, long healed, but not forgotten.

It was a sign of the part of Jane that Maura was fearful of. It was proof of the detective's relentless selflessness and brought forth numerous memories of Jane bleeding on the sidewalk. Jane jumping off of bridges. Jane entering a crime scene with a broken nose. Jane replacing a hostage with herself. Jane breaking free from her binds and taking on two adult men to save Maura's life. Jane giving up everything to save the people she loved and perfect strangers alike. Jane's relentless pursuit of protection.

It scared Maura, but it was who Jane was and although there was a risk of losing Jane at any second, that just made Maura want to love her all the more; as much as she could for as long as she was able. It was the part of Jane Maura feared the most, hated the most, respected and loved the most all in one complex, infinite state of flux. Jane gazed down as Maura pressed her hand flat over the wound.

"You're going to give me a weird tan," Jane sassed to ease the tension, and then she grabbed Maura's hand, brought it to her mouth to place a gentle kiss on her fingers, and clasped Maura's hand over her heart. "I'm okay, Maura. You saved me."

"No, I… you saved us. Me and Frankie. You shot yourself to save Frankie…" Maura denied her part in saving Jane's life. She didn't think Jane remembered Maura triaging her all those years ago and she never brought it up because she didn't want to make Jane feel weak or guilty. It wasn't something they ever seriously discussed.

Until now.

"I don't remember everything that happened after I pulled the trigger," Jane said as she looked out at the water. "I remember thinking that I had to do something to get the EMTs in to get Frankie and I knew what I had to do. I remember you screaming my name and then everything just… goes black for a while. But I remember being in the ambulance, Maura. I remember you telling the EMT what you did, and I didn't know what you were saying, all I knew was that you were sad and afraid. I remember hearing the EMT saying that you saved my life… that if you hadn't gotten to me so fast I would have died. You saved me, Maura. I'm alive because of you and I can never thank you enough for that."

Maura wasn't sure how to respond. It wasn't something they talked about. Not like this. They danced around the subject of all the times either of them had almost died or risked their lives for the other. Instead, electing to thank the other for something else, but each knowing what they truly meant. Maura remembered when they'd been fighting and they almost died together at the yoga resort because Jane refused to leave her side. They didn't speak of almost dying together then, either. Maura had thanked Jane for saving her leg, not her life, but they both heard the true meaning behind the words.

"You scare me sometimes… with your willingness to sacrifice yourself for anybody. Me, Frankie… perfect strangers who might not even deserve it," Maura admitted and Jane squeezed her hand chuckled before she laid their hands on the sand between their towels.

"You're the same, Maura," Jane reasoned, her voice full of the same worry Maura carried for Jane.

"How? I would never jump off a bridge and risk my life as you did! I wouldn't shoot myself. It's crazy! You're crazy," Maura said in a tone of utter disbelief at Jane's claim.

"Yes, you would! You do the same thing, just in different ways. You put _everyone_ before yourself… You gave my mom a house. You gave Cailin a freakin kidney! You patched up Paddy and you took in his father, who would have killed you if he could, just because you're so damn stupidly generous. You risk your life going undercover... You risk losing yourself just as much as I do, Maura. We're the same," Jane seemed resolute in her comparison and Maura continued to stare at her in disbelief. "If we were hanging off the side of a cliff and you had one hand holding me and one hand holding us to the cliff, would you be able to let go of me to save yourself even if I told you to?" Jane asked and Maura didn't even need to think before she answered.

"No."

"We're the same." Jane nodded and then let go of Maura's hand to trace the thin scar on Maura's neck that Hoyt had made all those years ago, and pointedly looked to the faded scar on Maura's leg from the yoga resort. "We keep each other safe."

"It's what we do," was the only response Maura could think to make because it was truthful.

"You're kind of a badass, you know that?" Jane leaned back on her hands again and smirked at Maura who scoffed.

"Me? _You're_ a badass. You're a badass for a living! You did surgery in the middle of the woods with a nail file and a piece of glass," Maura argued and Jane laughed.

"You _let_ me! I wouldn't have been able to do it if you hadn't been so… you," Jane chuckled and shook her head at the memory. "Even when you hated me you trusted me. That's badass."

"I could never hate you," Maura admitted. "You're my person." Jane's smile widened into a lopsided grin.

"You need to stop watching medical drama television shows. It's turning you into a sap," Jane teased and Maura scoffed at her.

" _You_ showed it to me!"

"No, it just happened to be on… I was trying to find baseball," Jane said indignantly.

"I don't believe you for a second. You immediately got the reference I made," Maura teased and Jane rolled her eyes.

"Fine, but don't tell anyone," Jane admitted her secret love of popular television series ' _Grey's Anatomy'_ and Maura laughed.

"Your secret is safe with me."

"What secret?" Angela asked as she and TJ walked back over to them and Angela pulled out a camera while TJ sat next to Maura.

"My secret love for Maura's extensive hat collection," Jane smirked and Maura smacked her shoulder.

"Can I try it on?" TJ asked and Maura smiled widely at him.

"Of course, darling," Maura agreed and took the hat off of her head and placed it on TJ's. He beamed as he sat between Jane and Maura, looking expectantly between them. "Pretty like a cloud," Maura said and poked his nose, eliciting a delighted giggle from him.

"You're too cute! Let me take a picture of the three of you. Tommy will love it!" Angela gushed and for once, Jane didn't complain. She posed leaning back on her hands with TJ nestled between her and Maura, who was sitting with her knees folded under herself and tucked to the side. As Maura moved to support her weight on one hand, her fingers landed on Jane's. They laced their fingers together and shared a small smile before they looked into the camera. "Say cheese!"

After a few snapshots of posed pictures, Jane got impatient and declared that she would only pose for more pictures in exchange for ice cream, and proceeded to try to steal her mother's. Maura did end up looking at shells with TJ and he listened with rapt attention to all the details she gave him, even though he likely didn't understand some of the words. She liked that he was so curious and that when he would ask a question, he would listen fully to the answer and repeat some things or ask for clarification.

Maura didn't want to go into the water fully but she still wanted to be near her people, so she removed her outer layers of clothing when Jane decided it was time for a swim. Jane looked at her body and white bikini several times, but the glances weren't long enough to be considered ogling. Maura still took it as a good sign. Maura scanned the sand for sharp shells as she walked to the water, wading in up to her ankles. TJ squealed in delight as he swam back and forth between Jane and Angela. 

Maura smiled on, getting the sort of full feeling that occurred whenever she was around the Rizzoli's. She couldn't help but feel happy, especially when Jane paused playing with TJ to check Maura out and grin mischievously at her. There were no clouds to speak of, so they couldn't go cloud-watching, but TJ wanted to build a sandcastle with Angela after swimming anyway, so Maura and Jane plopped back on their towels as the sand dried to their skin.

"Are you guys gay?" Maura turned her attention from TJ building a sandcastle with Angela to see a curious little girl and a rather embarrassed woman a few feet behind struggling under the weight of countless beach toys. Jane seemed to have frozen, but it was mostly in surprise, with only a little bit of fear.

"Emily!" The woman chastised to get the girl's attention and the girl's face scrunched up in annoyance.

"Mooo-ooom! I was _just asking a question!_ " Emily argued back to her mother who had caught up to her. Maura had heard Jane use that tone with Angela thousands of times and was entertained by the notion that one never grows out of that childlike relationship.

"Excuse her, she's not exactly shy," the girl's mother jogged over and scooped up the little girl, which was impressive, considering how full her hands already were with buckets, shovels, and towels.

 _"You told_ me to ask questions!" Emily argued as if her mother was the most unreasonable human on the face of the Earth.

"Yes, to uncle Andy and Kevin, honey," she interrupted her daughter and then turned to Jane. "Sorry, my brother just introduced us to his first boyfriend and now she's asking everyone if they're gay."

"It's fine. It's normal for children her age to be curious. It's better she ask and learn than for her questions to be kept under a rug," Maura informed and Jane snorted at her.

"It's _swept_ under the rug, dear," Jane corrected and then threw an arm around Maura's shoulders. Maura was surprised but elated to have Jane be so open again. Why was she fine with closeness sometimes but not others? If it was possible to get whiplash from confusion, Maura would have had it then.

"So you _are_ gay," Emily nodded. "I knew it. You look happy like when my daddy brings flowers home for mama. Two ladies can be married?" The girl continued her rationalization and her mother blushed but grinned at her.

"Yes, honey. Two boys can get married or two girls can get married, or a boy and a girl, or anything in between. You marry people who make you happy," she explained and Emily seemed satisfied with the answer because she remained quiet. "You have a beautiful family," the woman told Jane, and Jane looked over to her mother and nephew and then to Maura before she responded.

"Yes, I do." The woman smiled and walked away and Jane chuckled after them before she removed her arm from around Maura. "I'm going to go see if they can use my sandcastle building expertise."

"I'll be here," Maura answered, and as Jane moved to go help, Maura discreetly wrote in her journal.

_Experiment Nine - Beach Day_

_Data and Analysis: Jane seems more open to discussing her emotions lately. I wonder if it's because of these experiments or if we've just become closer due to the natural progression of friendship. Either way, we are closer than we have ever been. We've always been close and cared greatly for each other but we never quite discussed what that meant. Now Jane seems fine and willing to talk about anything and that is giving me the courage I need to show her this book and perhaps 'seal the deal' so to speak. She also didn't panic today when that mother and daughter assumed we were together. Is it easier for Jane to pretend rather than be found out in an actual intimate setting like the restaurant? She is deceptively complex, and although I am probably as close an expert as one can be on Jane Rizzoli, sometimes I simply do not understand her._

_P.s. How does she not know how gorgeous she looks in a bikini?_

Maura began to doodle a little image of a family of giraffes on a beach looking at clouds. She looked up at the sound of a motorcycle passing on the road behind them and glanced over to see Jane staring at her and the journal. She closed the journal slowly so as not to arouse suspicion.

Maura then got a rather mischievous idea as she remembered the time she explained the inner workings of a motorcycle to Frankie in a way that was rife with innuendo. She glanced around the beach to find something and as her eyes landed on the ice cream hut, she smirked.

"Jane, would you accompany me in getting ice cream, please?" She called as innocently as she could.

"Kay," Jane replied simply, kissed TJ on the head, and then moved to help Maura onto her feet.

"Thank you."

"What were you writing about?" Jane asked as she pointed to Maura's bag where the 'Jane Journal' was hidden.

"Just... writing about the most beautiful things I've discovered on the beach today," Maura answered honestly and elusively, earning a raised eyebrow from Jane as they walked to the ice cream hut hand-in-hand.

"You were writing about bugs and the _beauty_ of their symbiotic relationships, weren't you?" Jane accused and Maura laughed at how wrong the guess was.

"I could have been," Maura said. That was at least true.

"Nerd," Jane teased and elbowed Maura's side as they approached the line at the hut.

"Do you know how ice cream is made?" Maura prompted.

"I'm sure I'm about to," Jane snarked and Maura had to work to keep her face neutral.

"Well, one can't simply place a container of milk or cream in a freezer and get the soft, creamy substance that we're used to. I thought you might be interested to know-"

"I am. Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. Please, tell me how they make the best beach treat in the world," Jane encouraged and Maura couldn't help but smile. She had Jane just where she wanted her.

"Special techniques need to be employed to create smaller ice crystals so that the liquid doesn't simply freeze into a solid block," Maura started factually and slowly changed her voice to her low, sultry candor so as not to arouse Jane's suspicion... just Jane herself. "They have to keep the liquid cream in constant motion as it hardens over a cool surface, introducing air to soften the mixture. They must methodically churn the cream to ensure that large, stiff ice crystals do not form within the mixture." Jane cleared her throat at this and Maura continued, enunciating words tactfully. "Salt is often used because it lowers the melting point of ice. There is generally salt-filled ice packed surrounding the ice cream chamber to cool it faster, never touching, but drawing out the heat as the cream of the inner chamber is deliberately and meticulously kneaded at an ever-growing pace until it is finally turned into the soft, creamy delight known as ice cream."

"Jesus," Jane muttered and Maura had to work not to laugh.

"Yes, it's rather interesting." Maura gave a cheeky smile and then turned to the server to order, sure that Jane was red from more than just sun exposure. "Would you like anything, Jane?"

"What? Oh, no. No, I'm fine thanks," Jane waved off.

"You're welcome to share mine if you'd like," Maura offered as they walked back to their towels and Maura licked the ice cream just as Jane glanced over to her.

"Nope!" Jane averted her gaze and from Maura quickly but she saw the arousal on Jane's face anyway. Dilated pupils, red cheeks. "I'll just uh, I'm gonna go help TJ again... Maybe see if he wants to swim some more." Jane used her thumb to indicate to the water and then stumbled over her bag as she walked away.

_Experiments ten - Ice cream innuendo_

_Data and Analysis: Success. That's all I have to say._

_P.s. A flustered Jane is a Jane I like to see._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I read in a lot of fics that Maura hates Jane for being so recklessly selfless and to an extent I think that's true, but Maura is so giving and so forgiving that I don't think she'd ever really hold it against Jane. That's just who she is. Who they both are, in my opinion.
> 
> Anyway, buckle the *heck* up for the next chapter because it is the longest yet, and it is an emotional rollercoaster. I feel you need a warning.


	7. Hope and Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty, people (and maybe robots?), here's the climax of the tale (that was not a sex joke (I mean maybe it was, but there's no sex in this chapter so keep your metaphorical and literal pants on)).
> 
> ANYWAY - pretty severe trigger warning for homophobia and domestic abuse (I don't go too into depth but it's there, and the reaction to it is strong).

Maura sat in her office at the lab completing the doodle of the picture of giraffes cloud-watching at a beach when her cellphone rang. Continuing to draw with one hand, she answered the phone without looking at the caller ID.

" _Isles_ ," she breathed with a sigh, cleared her throat, and then repeated herself more professionally. "Isles."

" _Hello Maura, it's Hope Martin."_ Maura finally stopped drawing and put her journal away. Maura was genuinely confused to be getting a call from the woman but pleased nonetheless, not that she would admit it.

"Oh, hello. To what do I owe the pleasure?" Maura asked and then wanted to punch herself in the face for being stupid for still caring about what Hope thought of her. She knew it was irrational to crave Hope's acceptance, but she had a lifetime of wanting a mother's approval and it was a hard thing to overcome.

" _I just wanted to call and see if you were alright. You and Jane have been in the news a lot lately and I thought I might offer some support. Congratulations by the way. I had my suspicions since I met you two but I didn't want to overstep."_ Maura almost laughed. First Constance had been surprised at Maura and Jane's relationship and reacted negatively before having a change of heart, and now Hope was _un_ surprised and apparently quite pleased. Parents, it seemed to Maura, were utterly clueless no matter how you were related or how long you knew them.

"Thank you, I suppose," Maura didn't know what else she could say.

" _You're quite welcome. I'm glad that you found a love like that. You can tell how much Jane cares about you just by the way she looks at you,"_ Hope informed Maura and as if talking about the detective could summon her, Jane walked through Maura's office door holding a bag of peas to her lip.

"Hey, Mauwa, yoo got anny- oh sowy," Jane slurred around the makeshift ice pack and Maura grinned.

"I appreciate the call. Thank you for- well for your support," Maura spoke in a tone she hoped wasn't awkward.

" _Of course, Cailin says 'hi,' by the way. She says she'll visit soon."_

"Lovely, I'm always happy to see her," Maura admitted and then they said their goodbyes and hung up the phone while Jane stood awkwardly waiting.

"Can't you do something safe, like yoga?" Maura teased, not for the first time, and Jane removed the ice pack to reveal a bloody fat lip.

"Okay, first of all, I _was_ doing yoga, and second of all, do you have a real ice pack? This bag tastes like dirt." Jane complained with a pout and Maura scrunched up her nose in disgust.

"That's because it's likely teaming in bacteria from the freezer. You should not be using it on an open wound," Maura informed Jane as she stood from her desk. Jane looked at the bag of peas as if it had sworn at her and then rolled her eyes before she tossed the peas on Maura's desk.

"That's _gross,_ Maura!" Jane whined and then sat on the chair she claimed to hate with a very large, very adorable pout.

"To answer your question, yes I do have an icepack. I started keeping one down here after- well after we became friends," Maura tried to think about exactly what had caused her to purchase the ice pack and hundreds of images of a wounded Jane flitted through her mind.

"Well can you go get it?" Jane sassed and Maura was snapped back to reality. She nodded and left the office to remove the ice pack from where it was kept, wrapped it in a clean towel, and brought it back to Jane, along with her first aid kit. Jane took the ice pack suspiciously and held it in the air between them as she eyed Maura.

"Did you get this from the dead fridge?"

"No!" Maura denied and then shifted uncomfortably at the half-truth, "I got it from the dead freezer."

"Oh, _come on!_ " Jane yelled dramatically, "Maura!"

"Cold air is cold air, Jane! This is at least sterile. Would you like me to go into detail about what's likely living on that bag of peas?" Maura asked and pointed to the offending object. Jane pouted again and pressed the ice pack to her lips.

"...No," Jane huffed and Maura smirked at her.

"How exactly did you manage to get a fat lip while doing yoga? And why were you doing yoga in your work clothes?" Maura asked as she tried to hide her smile. Jane rolled her eyes and adjusted the ice pack to respond.

"I was _trying_ to go through that yoga routine you showed me that you can do from a chair that helps with a sore back from sitting at your desk for too long, and I guess that-"

"I wouldn't have recommended you do it in a chair that has wheels, Jane," Maura interrupted and Jane glared at her.

"Yes, _thank you,_ Doctor Isles, I actually just learned that for myself," Jane snarked and Maura had the decency to look guilty. "Why did you even show it to me if you knew doing it in my desk chair would end up with me having a fat lip?" Jane whined.

"I didn't really think about the chair you'd be using," Maura admitted. It was a very obvious oversight from this new perspective but at the time she simply saw a way to help. Jane sighed.

"Who was on the phone?" Jane asked.

"Oh, that was Hope-"

"Hope? What did she want? She wasn't rude to you again, was she? Do you want me to kick her ass?"

"No, Jane."

"I could _"accidentally"_ put a BOLO out on her car. She'd be stopped every twenty minutes," Jane joked and waggled her brows. Maura couldn't help but feel entertained.

"That won't be necessary but I appreciate the insane tenacity." Maura grinned.

"Okay, I'm gonna gloss over the fact that you just called me crazy, and take the rest as a compliment," Jane joked.

"As well you should," Maura complimented again.

"So... what did she want this time? Another organ?" Jane asked and Maura threw a warning look before responding.

"She wanted to call and congratulate us on this fun new development in our relationship... She said that she thought we'd been dating since she first met us, actually," Maura spoke flirtatiously and then with an air of surprise. Had her feelings for Jane been obvious for that long? How on Earth did she not see them for herself?

"What did you tell her?" Jane asked.

"I said 'thank you,'" Maura shrugged and Jane's eyebrows raised in shock.

"You didn't correct her? I thought you couldn't lie!" Jane shouted.

"I did not lie! I just said 'thank you!' I did not confirm _or_ deny her suspicion," Maura argued, and Jane dipped her chin down to glare at Maura. "You're not allowed to get angry, Jane, you didn't correct _your_ mother. Why haven't you corrected Angela, by the way?"

"I don't know, it hasn't come up. I told her not to bother you about it! _God_ , Ma!" Jane closed her eyes in frustration. If she hadn't been holding an ice pack, Maura knew that Jane would be pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Don't get angry at your mother for talking to me. She lives in my guest house so we're bound to run into each other from time to time." Maura smirked and then squatted on the floor in front of Jane. She guided the ice pack from Jane's lip so that she could assess the damage. Jane's eyes widened when she opened them and noticed how close Maura was. Maura noted the dilation of Jane's pupils. "This cut will need to be cleaned."

"That's why I came to see you," Jane explained and the corners of Maura's lips turned up in the hint of a smile. Maura kneeled on the floor and separated Jane's knees so that she could scoot closer to the wound and then placed her first aid kit on Jane's lap. When she looked back into Jane's face she noted that Jane's face was red and goosebumps had risen on Jane's neck. She scrutinized the effects and wondered what had caused them.

"Is the ice pack too cold, Jane? I can go get another towel-"

"No, it's fine... " Jane responded and her voice had dropped a decibel or two. Maura shrugged it off and looked down at her first aid kit again. Only then did she realize why Jane might be having those symptoms. Maura had kneeled on the floor and then placed herself in between Jane's legs rather forcefully, and then the symptoms occurred. It was arousal. Maura had to work to hide the grin that threatened to spread on her face and she kept her head dipped as she opened the kit. Maura slowly put the gloves on to buy herself time. She was happy to take advantage of the opportunities that kept presenting themselves to her.

Maura grabbed a cotton ball and poured some cleaning agent on it so that she could wipe Jane's cut before putting ointment on it. She leaned in close to Jane's face. She could hear the increase of breath as she placed one hand on Jane's chin to study the injury. She risked a glance into Jane's eyes and noted the clear desire there. Jane wasn't paying attention at all to what Maura was doing; instead, she was staring intently at Maura's lips with a slightly forrowed brow. Maura wet her lips with her tongue on instinct and Jane inhaled a shaky breath.

"This might hurt a little," Maura whispered. Jane looked up from her lips and nodded before averting her gaze as she blushed. As Maura worked Jane's eyes burned into her face. Heat rose up in her cheeks as she pressed the cotton ball to Jane's cut. Jane hissed slightly but said nothing. Maura cleaned the wound quickly and tossed the cotton ball into the bin before unscrewing the lid of some ointment and applied some to her finger. She brought her hand back up to Jane's face and smeared a bit of ointment over the cut on Jane's swollen lip. She used another finger to trace a trail across Jane's top lip, over the valleys of her cupid's bow, and then slowly back down and around the swollen pout of her bottom lip. Jane shuddered at the touch and Maura looked up into Jane's eyes as she asked, "Feel better?"

"Uh-huh," Jane mumbled as she continued to burn Maura with her gaze.

"Try not to lick your lips," Maura ordered quietly as they stared at each other.

"Okay," Jane replied just as quietly and seconds ticked by without either of them moving. "Are you counting again?"

"I wasn't…" Maura murmured and then she finally glanced away from Jane and pulled the used gloves off of her hands, tossing them into the bin. She closed the first aid kit in Jane's lap and then stood, using Jane's thighs to push herself up. She walked out of the room and heard Jane clear her throat as she put the first aid kit where it belonged before grabbing another clean towel and heading back to her office. Walking back into the room, Maura took a moment to assess Jane's body language. Jane was bent forward in the chair with her elbows on her knees, one leg bouncing and one finger lightly touching her bottom lip. Maura smirked and approached her. "You should put this new towel on the ice pack… don't want to ruin all my hard work."

"What? Oh, yeah okay. Smart…" Jane said as she took the towel from Maura and switched them out. "Thanks… for my lip. I mean, it's kinda your fault I got it in the first place, but thanks anyway." Jane grinned up at Maura who raised an eyebrow at Jane.

"I refuse to accept that! It is not my fault you got a fat lip… and it isn't even that bad, don't be an infant."

"Yes! It is! If you didn't show me chair yoga then this would never have happened! And it's 'don't be a _baby',_ Maura," Jane snarked with a slight smirk.

"The words are synonymous!" Maura argued because she didn't understand the difference.

"Either way, I am _so not_ a baby!" Jane argued and Maura assumed it was because Jane didn't want to talk about the fact that they were just having what Frost referred to as 'eye sex.'

"I fixed it for you," Maura pointed out and Jane rolled her eyes.

"Well it still hurts," Jane retorted as she stood in Maura's personal space, posturing like she was ready for battle.

"Would you like me to kiss it better, detective?" Maura asked in a sultry tone that she hadn't entirely intended. Jane raised an eyebrow at Maura and then glanced down at her mouth. Maura took that as a positive sign and reached up to hoop one of her fingers around Jane's belt before looking up into Jane's eyes again. Desire still burned there and Maura leaned forward as Jane's hands enveloped Maura's waist and pulled her in closer. Maura gasped in delight. She bit her bottom lip as their bodies molded together and Jane's breath hitched.

Generally, Maura would assess that as a good sign, but the ragged, almost desperate sound was not the kind of airy breathing Maura would have expected with arousal. This was more similar to wheezing. She pulled away as Jane tried to inhale again, causing Maura to notice that Jane was suffering from severe shortness of breath. All of the colour had drained away from Jane's face and her ragged breaths were becoming more and more labored. Jane's body started to tremble and before Maura could try to ask what was wrong, Jane was running out of the room like her life depended on it.

"Jane?" Maura called as Jane ran out of the room but did not get a reply. Maura froze in place. She didn't know what was best in this situation. It was clear to Maura that Jane was having another panic attack but she didn't know if she should follow this time or not. Maybe in some way, Maura herself was the trigger. Maura paced around her office trying to find similarities between this occurrence and the last but she came up with nothing. She decided to give Jane the space she obviously needed and wrote in her journal to try to help ease her own anxiety.

_Physical Response Test Two_

_Data and Analysis: All the signs were there. The elevated heart rate, goosebumps, dilated pupils... I could feel her short exhalations of breath on my cheeks as I worked on her lip. She wanted to kiss me. She stared so intently at my lips… she had to have wanted to kiss me. Why did she run away when the offer was there? Did she think I was joking? Perhaps she thought I was making fun of her for being aroused. She couldn't have known that I knew she wanted to kiss me though, could she? Of course she did. She pulled me closer against her body so that she could kiss me… This is getting harder to analyze objectively but I can't ask anyone for help._

_She seems fine with everything until she suddenly isn't. She holds my hand in front of strangers all the time now and doesn't even respond when people look at us oddly. She freely initiates the contact. She caresses my cheek when she talks to me about emotional things like me defending her against Kitty. She dresses up and goes to classy restaurants for me… She blushes when I'm chivalrous or when I compliment her beauty. She gazes into my eyes, and it can only be described as gazing because I don't know what else to call that look. She can't possibly be blind to all of this, can she?_

_We're closer than we have ever been. I have no doubt that she is both emotionally and physically attracted to me based on the evidence. We had such a lovely day at the beach. She's never been so expressive, both physically and emotionally and I was so sure she was ready for the next step._

_The only explanation to all of the facts is that Jane knows. She must know that I have feelings for her and she must know that she returns them, at least to some degree. I would assume she was homophobic but that wouldn't make any sense based on how open she is. It can't be that. I might surmise that she was afraid of what her family might think, but Frankie, Tommy, and Angela support our union, no matter how fake it is. There are only two other reasons I can think of that might cause her to run away from me._

_1\. She doesn't return my feelings and she doesn't know how to tell me she doesn't want a relationship without losing our friendship._

_2\. She's afraid… of me? That doesn't make any sense! But I am the only common denominator for each of the times she's panicked..._

_Did I push her too far? Maybe I should take a step back from my research for a while and just focus on being her frien-_

"Hey, doc," Korsak interrupted Maura's furious, panic-induced writing frenzy long minutes later and she threw her pen across the room as she hastily closed the book and placed her hands on the title. She cursed herself for not naming the journal something more discreet and she tried so hard to look casual that she failed completely. "You okay there?"

"Mhmm…" Maura nodded as she squeaked out her response. Korsak glanced at the book, to the pen on the floor, and then back at Maura.

"Okay…" Korsak stuck his hands in his pockets.

"Can I… help you with anything, Sergeant?" Maura asked in a voice she hoped sounded calm.

"Uh, I guess. Jane came upstairs about twenty minutes ago and was being kinda weird," he admitted.

"Weird how?" Maura prompted, eager to get all of the information that she could.

"Oh you know, weird. Pacing around the bullpen, muttering nonsense, pulling all her hair out. You know, Jane stuff." he shrugged as if it should have been obvious and Maura smiled despite herself because it _was_ just so… Jane.

"What does that have to do with me?" Maura asked and then swallowed nervously. She didn't know what he knew.

"Well she got her face all fixed up so I figured she'd been down to see you, so I asked what the hell you did to get her so riled up and she threw her pen holder at me -which was full by the way- and then she stormed out-" Korsak paused to laugh "-Came back about ten seconds later and told me to make sure you were okay and said if I told you that part she would kick my ass, but she threw a cup full of pens at me, so I'm telling you that part anyway."

Maura calmed slightly. Jane made someone check on her. She still cared.

"Okay, well at least she's not panicking," Maura scoffed and then rolled her eyes at herself. Jane would have been proud of that sarcasm.

"Now, Jane would be proud of that sarcasm," Korsak said and Maura chuckled at their similar thoughts, but then used her hands to hide her face and slightly shook her head in an effort to relieve some of her stress. "You wanna talk about it, doc?" She spread her fingers and looked through the gaps into his kind eyes, and the wisdom she saw there reminded her of Bass. Maura sighed, laced her fingers together, and plopped her hands on her desk. Maura thought that this had to be the first time ever that she slouched in her office chair.

"It's just that- she's being _so-_ how was I supposed to know what- why can't she just- oh God, what am I going to do?" She started several sentences and Korsak nodded sagely at her before he glanced at her 'Jane journal.' She didn't even bother trying to hide it.

"Did she try telling you how she feels or something?" Korsak asked kindly with that knowing look everyone seemed to have. She recognized it immediately. She'd seen that look on the faces of her friends countless times. Susie in the lab. Frost in the bullpen. Frankie in her office. Angela, Constance, even Hope, and Paddy! Everyone had been throwing her that look for _years_ now… if only she could place it.

"How she _feels?_ When does Jane ever openly talk about her feelings?" Maura asked in a tone that was more snappy than she intended but Korsak smiled at her anyway.

"With you. She talks about her feelings with you, doc," he said and Maura scoffed so he pressed on. "I was her partner for years. Trusted each other more than anything. I loved her like a daughter, still do. She never talked about her feelings with me. The most emotional she's ever been with me was two years _after_ our run-in with Hoyt when she finally told me why she couldn't be my partner anymore, and that took me _two years_ to pull out of her. Now, Frost, he's gotten close to her over the years, but he's still no closer than I am. Hell, she won't even let Frankie try to take care of her and he's her damn brother, but you-" Korsak paused and shook his head in disbelief. He took a moment to spare Maura that knowing look again and she wanted to scream "- you guys worked together for what? A week after she got back from medical leave and you both just… changed. You started to actually hang out with us guys like we wanted you to just because Jane asked, and Jane… man, you'd think she was a different person. She's always been a good person but never so openly kind… The way she looks at you, Maura, I've never seen her look at anybody like that before. Not even Casey, and she almost married that jackass. She cares about you so much that she doesn't even know what to do with herself." Korsak chuckled, and Maura did nothing to stop the tears that fell from her eyes at his hopeful words. "She'd do anything for you, you know? And it's more than just letting you drag her to yoga and making her eat weird food… she'd fight for you, she'd die for you. She almost has a couple of times. She shot herself to save you and Frankie… she stayed with you at that stupid yogi resort when you almost lost your leg… she didn't leave you in that forest even when it meant dying. She loves you, Maura, because she knows you'd do the same for her," Korsak explained and verified all of the thoughts Maura had been having more and more, especially after her beach trip, but his confirmation only made her sadder.

"Then why can't she let me love her back?" Maura whispered out through her tears. She closed her eyes and tried to get her breathing under control until she felt a hand on her shoulder moments later. She looked up into Korsak's wise, tortoise-like eyes.

"She's Jane." Korsak shrugged as if it was all the explanation that was needed. It was. She was Jane, and Jane ran sometimes when things got too real. Maura knew that. What Maura also knew though, was that Jane always came back. She nodded at Korsak and he squeezed her shoulder once before letting go.

He smirked down at her journal and Maura slowly slid it off of the desk and hid it in her lap, knowing that it was pointless, but embarrassed to the point where that didn't matter. He quirked an amused eyebrow at her and she smiled through her tears and embarrassment.

"Shut up," Maura muttered and then chuckled with Korsak.

* * *

Maura headed home after her workday. She hadn't seen Jane at all after their almost-kiss and she needed to talk to someone she could trust. She found him immediately, hiding in his shell in the middle of her living room carpet and she joined him there, ignoring the rest of her lonely house. She kicked off her heels and laid down on her stomach in front of Bass, resting her chin on her crossed arms so that they could talk face to face.

"Emotions are hard, Bass," she admitted quietly to her friend and he blinked at her. She took it as a sign that he agreed. "Yeah, you know everything, we can't all be as smart as you, there's no need to rub it in…" She tried to reason with him but he looked unashamed. "Why did she run away from me? I read all the signs, Bass, but she… what if I'm wrong? I don't know how to tell why people feel things. Sure, I can read body language and assess microexpressions and it helps, but I still don't know the _cause_ of emotion. I don't know what makes people feel beyond the science of it. What if it's just me? Am I what's wrong?" Maura watched Bass sagely think about what she'd told him. She knew it was probably crazy to turn to a tortoise for help but she didn't care. He'd been her best and only friend since she was six and he'd stayed her very best friend until she met Jane; who was hiding out somewhere. He knew all of her fears and secrets and she knew he would never say a word even if he could speak.

"What if I messed everything up? I don't want to lose her…" She paused to look into Bass's eyes. "You're right, I'm being silly. She'll come back, I know. She always comes back... I tried to kiss her… What do you mean, _'finally?'_ Did you know the whole time? You should have said something," Maura chastised her tortoise. It helped her to have these talks with him when she was feeling very upset. "She's my best friend, Bass. I don't know what I'd do without her."

"Probably get sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles," Maura heard Jane speak and she gasped before she sat up. She craned her neck to look over the couch to see that Jane sat at the kitchen island behind a box of coco puffs Maura didn't remember buying and Maura blushed.

"Oh God, were you there the whole time?" Maura cried out.

"Afraid so." Jane smirked and Maura groaned before she laid back down on the floor on her back. Maura covered her face with her hands and wondered if she was embarrassed enough to suffer from a cardiac reaction and die. Jane's stool squeaked against the floor before her footsteps padded toward Maura. Heat from Jane's body warmed Maura as Jane lay down next to her, but Maura refused to uncover her face.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Maura…" Jane spoke in a soft, sad tone. "I'm sorry I made you feel like you're what's wrong… you aren't wrong, Maura. You're the most amazing person I've ever met." Maura peeked out at Jane and saw that there were tears in Jane's truthful eyes.

"Then why did you run away? It has to be me… it's the only reasonable conclusion. I'm the common denominator," Maura whispered, not trusting her voice enough to speak. Jane turned so that she was looking up at the ceiling and a tear slid down her face, disappearing into the dark tresses of her temple.

"No, honey, it's not you," Jane spoke so kindly that Maura believed her; or wanted to believe her. It was hard for Maura to think that people leaving her wasn't her fault. After all, so many others had left or neglected her; why should Jane be any different? Jane seemed to read her mind. "There is nothing wrong with you, Maura. You're the kindest person I know. You're generous to the point of insanity. I mean, come on, you only have one kidney! You give so much that you lose yourself and I'm sorry you thought I was a part of that. I don't want to be… I wasn't running from you. I was running from my feelings."i

"I'm not sorry I tried to kiss you," Maura admitted and though Jane smiled, it was the saddest smile Maura had ever seen. It broke her heart.

"Me either… I have to tell you something and I need you to listen because I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to talk about it again. I've never told anyone and I-" Jane paused and shook her hands out, an act she only did in great distress "-I just need to tell you because I can't _breathe_ anymore with this in my head, and you're making it so much harder to live like this..." Jane started to hyperventilate again, tears spilling out onto her cheeks.

"Does this have something to do with the other night at the restaurant?" Maura asked and Jane nodded. Maura had never seen such fear in Jane's eyes before. She waited patiently for several minutes for Jane to speak, not daring to touch or prod, not matter how much she wanted to.

"When I was ten, a new girl named Clara Emerson started to go to the same school and church as us… her father became a priest at the church and vice-principal at school… Father Emerson," Jane began in the quietest and most broken voice Maura had ever heard her use. "She was the first friend who was a girl that I ever had and my Ma was so happy-" Jane paused to rub the tears from her face and clear the emotion from her throat "-so my Ma let me go hang out with Clara whenever I asked because she was glad I had a girlfriend, you know? We did everything together for an entire year. She was- she was my best friend.

"We were probably closer than most best friends… closer than friends should be… we held hands, she'd- she'd kiss me on the cheek… I'd hold open doors for her." Maura listened intently and her heart broke with every frequent crack in Jane's voice, with every silent moment Jane needed to take before continuing the story. "We used to get into trouble. God, the nuns would get so mad at us," Jane paused to chuckle at some memory but she quickly became pained again. "So we got detention together a lot, and one afternoon we were alone in homeroom while Sister Mae left to go do something… So Clara and I were banging erasers and joking around together for a bit like we always did…

"She stopped all of a sudden and grabbed my hand to pull me into this little broom cupboard in the corner of the room and we hid in there together. She told me-" another voice crack interrupted the story and more tears streamed out of Jane's sad eyes that refused to look at Maura "-she told me that she didn't want to just be my friend and that I could kiss her if I wanted to so I… I kissed her." Jane took a long pause and Maura didn't dare interrupt. The sadness emanating from Jane was almost palpable and Maura felt like she too might drown in it.

"We didn't hear Sister Mae come back into the room. She found us kissing in that little broom cupboard and she grabbed both of our wrists and hauled us right to Father Emerson. He was so quiet, Maura, but he was so _angry…_ He told me that I was going to hell. He said- he said that if I told anybody about it that God would be angry with me. That God would use His wrath and bring pain. He made me feel so afraid, Maur, so I listened to him. He sent me home with the promise that I'd never speak another word about it or God and all His power would destroy everything I loved and I believed him because priests know what God wants, y'know?

"I didn't see Clara or Father Emerson after that. I missed her and I could tell something was wrong but I couldn't ask anybody because Sister Mae had started keeping a close eye on me. For weeks she swarmed around me like a hawk. Everywhere I went, she was a silent reminder that I had to keep my mouth shut… I lived like that for months. Constantly scared that Sister Mae was going to get me into trouble. Scared that Father Emerson would come back and tell everyone I kissed Clara and that's why they left… worried about my best friend and terrified that God hated me. I was so sure that I was bad. So sure something was wrong with my soul and I swore I would never tell anybody about what happened and I promised every day that I'd never do it again...

"I heard later that Clara's dad beat her so badly that she was hospitalized and I thought…" Jane paused as her voice cracked. "I knew it was my fault. I thought if I told anyone why he did it that I would get in trouble like Father Emerson said so I kept quiet." Jane cried heavily, refused to look at anything other than the ceiling or her hands, which she wrung violently together.

"Jane, none of that was your fault, you have to know that," Maura grabbed Jane's hands tight, trying to give some strength to her friend.

"Yeah, I know. Now I know. That's kind of a hard thing for an eleven-year-old to deal with and I guess I internalized it… I kept this secret for almost thirty years," Jane shook her head. Maura had assessed that Jane experienced some degree of catholic guilt but never knew that it ran so deeply. It broke her heart to hear that Jane had experienced such hatred and she longed to erase the suffering from Jane's mind.

"Hey..." Maura cooed to get Jane's attention, curious but afraid to hear the rest of the story. "What happened to Clara?" Jane tensed and closed her eyes. "What happened to her, Jane?" Maura whispered the question, fearful for the answer she knew was coming.

"She died, Maura," Jane's voice cracked. "Her brain got too swollen for her skull and she died. I was so convinced that it was my fault… for so long I _knew_ that God was punishing me for kissing her and that if I ever said anything, He'd hurt more people."

"Oh my God…" Maura murmured and pulled Jane over so that she could cradle the other woman protectively to her chest.

"I tried so hard not to be gay, Maura, I… I hated every part of me that missed Clara for so long. I hated every part of me that thought a girl was pretty. I had to pretend so that nobody would get hurt again. I _tried_ to like boys and I tried to love Casey, but it's just… I don't feel… anything." Jane seemed to have opened the floodgates for all of her deepest secrets and Maura just held onto her tightly, willing Jane to know that she wouldn't let anything hurt her anymore. "I know it's okay. In my mind, I _know_ that God wouldn't be homophobic and that Father Emerson was just a horrible person, but I look at you sometimes and I feel like that confused eleven-year-old kid that's so sure there's something wrong with her...

"So when I saw those people taking pictures of us in the restaurant… we were holding hands and I'd held the door open for you... It reminded me of Sister Mae catching me and Clara and I felt it all over again, but I was scared for you, Maura. And then you tried to kiss me and I wanted to- I want to kiss you too, but I _can't._ I got so scared for you, and I know that it's irrational and it doesn't make any sense but I'm so _terrified_ of how I feel for you, Maura. I've never been so scared in all my life." Hot tears fell down Maura's face at Jane's admittance. It was the weakest Maura had ever seen Jane be, but it was also the strongest because it took every ounce of courage Jane had to admit all of it. "That's why I didn't tell Ma that she was wrong about us being together… I want so badly for it to be true but I just can't-"

"It's okay, Jane. We're okay," Maura whispered as she rubbed slow circles into Jane's back, trying to absorb everything Jane had just admitted.

"I don't want to be afraid anymore, Maura," Jane whispered against Maura's chest. "I don't want to be, but I am…" A sob wracked Jane's body and Maura adjusted her arms so that she was holding Jane tightly to her chest and they lay there on the living room floor crying together into the night.

A couple of hours later, dehydrated from crying and sorer than she had ever been, Maura decided that it was time they both move to the bedroom. She eased Jane into a sitting position, tentatively took her best friend's hand, and pulled her to her feet. Jane was dazed with her eyes glazed over staring blindly ahead. Maura led her to the bedroom and got Jane settled under the sheets. She moved to her closet and quickly changed before she slipped under the blanket, pulling Jane back into an embrace so that she could continue her silent support.

* * *

Maura spent the morning staring up at the ceiling as Jane breathed quietly beside her. She still held Jane's hand and rubbed lazy patterns across Jane's soft skin with her thumb. She had a lot of new information to think about. Maura knew that she wanted a relationship with Jane and that Jane was attracted to her, but she was unsure if Jane would be able to overcome her fears that had been so ingrained in her personality. For such a horrific thing to have happened to her best friend at such a young age, Maura knew it would take a lot of hard work and a lot of time for Jane to work through the issue; if she even wanted to.

It suddenly struck Maura just how hard Jane would have to work to be able to love her in the most biblical sense of the term. Both she and Jane had a lifetime of thinking something was wrong with them. Jane had a lifetime of confusion and self-hate, just as Maura had a lifetime of neglect and self-doubt. The difference was that Maura had been working on her issues since she became aware of them, but Jane would just be starting out. The thought brought bile into Maura's throat because even in her ability to compartmentalize and rationalize her insecurities, she still had moments of self-doubt and self-loathing. A lifetime of progress hadn't healed her fully and, in her opinion, her issues weren't nearly as serious as Jane's. Just as sure as the journey would be difficult, though, she was hopeful they could make it through together; just as they always had.

Still, Maura knew that she would accept Jane in any capacity. Maura thought back to the best relationships, the best connections she'd ever had, and compared them to her feelings for Jane. She'd had numerous friends and had made connections with various people throughout her life but she'd always had the impression that they were all surface-level relationships. She'd been relentlessly bullied throughout grade school and had to work incredibly hard to overcome her social anxiety. When she did, she found that she was able to speak politely to people and befriend them. She got invited to gatherings and events often enough, but there was always a little part of her brain that knew she was invited out of obligation and politeness, not because she was actually wanted.

Garrett had been the first person to at least try to connect to her, but in hindsight Maura realized that he hadn't actually cared about her at all. She'd been desperate for genuine human connection (as embarrassed as she was to admit that), and she willed herself to ignore his faults. She'd been so happy to find someone willing to deal with her lack of social cues and oversharing, that she hadn't considered why Garrett might have been willing to listen to her. Detective Crowe's comment about 'putting up with her Googlemouth so he could hit it,' crossed Maura's mind and she blushed. She'd known, deep in her heart, that Garrett had dealt with her oddities not because he loved her, but because she was attractive and because they made a good match in theory; because his parents would approve. She knew that he didn't truly love her for who she was and it was painful to live with that knowledge, especially after she'd agreed to marry him.

It had taken her a few months to realize that she didn't want to be merely tolerated for the rest of her life. As much as it had scared and hurt her at the time, Maura accepted the fact that she would rather continue her lonely life than have a husband who merely put up with her. She knew she made the right choice when she called off the engagement and she suddenly felt like she could breathe again. She was surprised to feel free. Garrett taught her that it was better to be on her own than to settle for being tolerated. He taught her that marrying out of convenience was not something she wanted. She especially knew she made the right call when, years later, she found out he murdered his brother, but still, he had helped her to grow.

Ian had felt like the love of her life for so long, but in the throes of war surrounding them, she could admit that their passion might have been exaggerated by the risk of death. It was easy for her to claim that he was the love of her life when he was conveniently half a world away from her. He was a crutch for Maura; an excuse for why she was unable to connect with other people. She could tell herself that all of her dates failed because she felt so passionately when Ian was around. In retrospect, of course, she would feel passionate about Ian when he was around. He brought out the adrenaline of being in a warzone and the memories of their hot, sweaty bodies writhing together in the heat of passion in exotic lands. The chemical response her body had to him was maddening, but that's all it was; a physical-chemical response. She hadn't connected with him emotionally because they simply hadn't had the time. Their relationship was a constant rush of adrenaline in saving lives and then using the rest of their spare time ripping each other's clothes off and submitting to their carnal desires. Though now it was easy to admit that eroticism and a concoction of lust-filled adrenaline wasn't actually love. Maura still felt quite lonely while they were together but she was just too starved for human connection to be able to admit it to herself. She could no longer use Ian as an excuse for her inability to connect because she'd connected so strongly with Jane.

Maura looked over to the sleeping detective and felt different chemicals rush through her body. Instead of a frenzied desire, the rush made Maura feel soft. Melty. Jane made her feel like she was relaxing in a hot bath after a long day, surrounded by the scent of lavender bubble bath while listening to Yo-Yo-Ma. It was peaceful. It was exactly what she needed. Jane felt like safety and security and home. She took in Jane's relaxed face and her heart felt like it was growing within her chest; an impossibility. Though everything with Jane seemed impossible. It was impossible that Maura had found someone who enjoyed listening to her. It was impossible that Jane cared so much and so deeply for Maura that she'd risked her life several times in the hopes of saving her. It seemed impossible to Maura that she'd fallen helplessly, madly, completely in love with Jane; the surly, cranky, brash, and sarcastic detective who was messy and complex… and caring, and kind and so selfless that it made Maura physically angry sometimes. Her relationship with Jane was more fulfilling than anything she'd ever experienced before and Maura's eyes started tearing up as sadness began to overwhelm her. She felt so torn between her desire to love Jane and her need to protect Jane from experiencing more pain at the mere thought of kissing another woman. Maura knew though, that if this was all her relationship with Jane could ever be; she would be more than willing to live with it.

Jane was enough just the way she was. The sweetness Jane provided in her gentle caresses of Maura's cheek. The way Jane took care of her emotionally was more than Maura had ever hoped to experience. The way Jane protected Maura had her heart fluttering in her chest. She looked at Jane's long lashes as Jane slept and she squeezed the detective's hand; knowing that the handholding, the longing glances, the sweet words and intense connection that they shared would be enough. It already was enough. It had been enough for years. If Jane was never ready to do more than kiss the side of Maura's head or hold her hand in a line at a coffee shop, that was fine. Maura had experienced the opposite of this with Ian and she knew beyond the reason of a doubt that Jane, just the way she was, was what Maura preferred to have for the rest of her life. It wasn't even a sacrifice to Maura. It was a blessing. Jane was a blessing that Maura was not willing to lose or push.

Maura knew she still had some small tears in her eyes when Jane's eyes fluttered open but she did nothing to hide them. She could be vulnerable with Jane like she could be with nobody else. She smiled softly, lovingly at the brown eyes, and sighed in contentment, knowing that loving Jane in any capacity possible would always be the best decision of her life.

"Hi," Maura whispered and she didn't care that her voice was high pitched and full of emotion. She wanted Jane to know that this, what they shared together, was enough.

"How long have you been laying here counting and staring at me?" Jane grumbled in her early morning voice and Maura's smile widened.

"I wasn't counting. I don't need to count anymore. I was thinking," Maura admitted quietly.

"About what?" Jane closed her eyes again and snuggled further into the pillow, her curls even wilder than usual. _Yes,_ _definitely enough._

"Us…" Maura said.

Jane peeked an eye open and Maura lifted Jane's hand and pressed a kiss to her fingers before letting go and scooting closer to Jane so that they were inches apart. She began to trace the contours of Jane's face, along her eyebrow, across her sharp cheekbones, down Jane's cute nose, and across her slightly parted lips, still swollen. Maura followed her finger with her eyes until she dropped her hand to the limited space between them. She looked up into Jane's concerned gaze and knew she must look at least a little bit silly to Jane; crying slightly but smiling anyway. No wonder Jane was looking at her with concerned curiosity.

Jane seemed to sense how emotional Maura was because she lifted her hands to hold Maura's and they lay together, gazing at each other, Jane concerned and patient, and Maura with absolute devotion and awe.

"This is what I want," Maura murmured and Jane's eyebrow pulled together.

"I don't know what you mean, Maura. What's happening in that big, beautiful brain of yours?" Jane whispered back and Maura pulled Jane's hands close to her heart and closed her eyes, willing Jane to feel what she was feeling.

"I want _you,_ Jane. I don't care in what capacity I can have you," Maura opened her eyes to see that Jane was starting to tear up too. "You've made my life better than I ever thought it could be… what I have with you now… that's enough for me. I don't need anything else, I just want you," Maura admitted through the emotion tightening her throat and Jane's eyebrows pulled together.

"But I can't give you what you deserve… I-I'm messed up, Maura," Jane whispered back thickly as she tried not to cry.

"Jane, you give me _everything,_ " Maura murmured. "You've given me so much. Taught me so much. I love _you,_ Jane. I'll love you for the rest of my life in every way that you'll let me."

"I can't ask you to do that, Maura…" Jane muttered and looked down in shame before looking back up. Maura had never seen such vulnerability and selflessness before. It was scary and beautiful all at once. "You deserve someone who can give you everything… I can't right now… I don't know if I ever could."

"I don't care," Maura retorted resolutely, and although her voice was quiet it was also strong. "You've given me more than I could need. The relationship that we have is already so fulfilling… It's just sex, Jane. I don't need it… I'd rather have this." Maura stated as she squeezed Jane's hands closer to her heart. Jane glanced down at their entwined fingers and sighed.

"No," Jane spoke after some time.

"No?" Maura reiterated and felt her heartbeat speed up in fear.

"I want to be with you, Maura. I've wanted to be with you since I met you," Jane spoke and although there was still vulnerability and fear in Jane's eyes, there was also fire and tenacity. "You're my best friend. You're my person. You're it for me and I love you with everything that I am… I know you think it's just sex, and it is in a way, but it's also more than that… to me, anyway-" Jane paused to look down and gather her thoughts before continuing "-I want _everything_ with you. I want to hold your hand walking down the street. I want you to kiss my cheek for pouring you a glass of wine. I want…" Jane paused to furiously blush. "I want to kiss you on the top of a volcano in the cliffs of Santorini when we get married in Red Sox jerseys. I want to love you, Maura, in every sense of the word and for the rest of my life. I want you," Jane finished and Maura took a shuddering breath before she reached her arms around Jane to pull her into a tight embrace.

"You have me, Jane. You've had me for so long," Maura admitted as the tears continued to spill out of her eyes and into Jane's curls. Jane let Maura hug her for a few moments but then pulled away.

"But I also have some pretty messy issues that I need to work on before I can do this…" Jane reasoned. "It's not something that can be fixed in a day. Maybe not even in a lifetime. I've got thirty years of… self-hate and confusion that I don't know how to deal with."

"Then we'll get someone to help you deal with it… If you want to," Maura whispered and Jane squeezed her hands.

"I want to. I want to try but… I uh, it's hard to talk about with you… I don't know how to talk to a stranger about it…" Jane bit her lip and glanced away. Maura raised their clasped hands and peppered them with kisses.

"Then they'll probably help with that first. Let me make some calls and get you the resources needed to help you?" Maura asked and Jane closed her eyes as if debating in her head.

"Okay," Jane finally responded.

"Okay."

"I legally have to go see the shrink at work if I have more than one panic attack in a month anyway." Jane rolled her eyes and continued when Maura looked at her in confusion. "It's been in my contract ever since Hoyt."

"Oh, I didn't know that."

"You didn't really need to until now." Jane shrugged.

"You know... I want you to get help so that you can be happy, Jane… but I don't want you to do it for me. I want you to do it because you know you need to. If you're just going for me then you won't heal and-"

"Hey," Jane interrupted and placed a finger to Maura's lips. "I'm going because I need to. I meant what I said last night. I don't want to be afraid anymore." Maura kissed the finger silencing her and they laid together in peace, both in awe at what each was willing to give or sacrifice for the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor, poor Jane. Maura is learning just as much about our favourite detective as she is about herself. Worry not, it is always darkest before the dawn. So much fluff is coming your way, you don't even know. And yes, I know Maura's character is a very sexual being, I will be addressing that soon, so don't y'all worry none.


	8. Data/Date Entry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some fluff. as a treat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things got kinda heavy last chapter but folks... it's all uphill once you hit rock bottom  
> Anyway, this is almost all fluff. NO plot, ONLY fluff. (jk, there's a dash of plot sprinkled in there)

For however cozy laying with Jane in the rising sun was, Maura eventually decided that they ought to get out of bed and start their day. Jane got laced up in her runners while Maura, having gone for a jog the day before, elected to stay home. Her back ached from the few hours she'd slept on the floor so she stretched it out with a languid yoga routine.

Maura made several calls to find the most renowned therapists in the country so that Jane had nothing short of the very best. With modern technology and the connections Maura had, it was likely Jane would be able to work with anyone in the US through skype or similar. It helped that an Isles was requesting contact, as their name was well known for donating to the mental health community, especially after Maura had come of age, and was able to dictate where the Isles' charitable funds would go. Maura had organized a fair few successful fundraisers herself, so all the calls she made were well received. Before she knew it, she had a handful of people Jane could choose from.

"Hey!" Jane called as she walked through the door and Maura turned to see that she wasn't alone. "I found another stray."

"Hey, Maura." Cailin shot a playful sneer at Jane's comment and then waved to her sister.

"What a surprise!" Maura stood up from the couch and approached the two other women but fell short. She'd intended to hug Cailin. She'd never done that in greeting before. It was odd and she was unsure if it was acceptable. Was it customary to hug estranged siblings one met a couple of years ago? She couldn't be sure so she stood there feeling awkward, looking from Cailin to Jane, who watched her with poorly hidden entertainment. "A surprise… that's not to say it's not nice to see you, Cailin, I always enjoy your company. Hope said you'd be visiting but I assumed you'd have called or texted first. Though you are welcome here at any time-"

"It's nice to see you, too," Cailin cut off Maura's rambling with the hug Maura had been too afraid to give, and Maura took only a half-second to return the gesture, smiling at Jane over Cailin's shoulder. "I was in the neighborhood. There's a cute little coffee house I like to study at near here so I figured I'd stop by. It's got sofas and a fireplace and stuff and none of the kids at school know about it. It's mostly old people that go there, I think."

"Hey!" Jane chastised and then covered up Maura's ears with her palms. " _We_ go there!" Jane whispered violently and Maura chuckled at Jane's antics while Cailin failed to hide a smirk.

"Sorry," she said, but Maura got the impression that she wasn't sorry at all.

"I'm gonna go get Jo from my apartment, kay, Maur?" Jane said as she grabbed her keys from their hook by the front door. Maura nodded but Cailin's eyebrows furrowed.

"What, is that _code_ for something? You know I'm an adult, right?" Cailin sassed as she moved further into the house to make herself comfortable in Maura's kitchen, tossing her backpack onto the island before sitting in front of it.

"Code? I'm not sure what you mean," Maura admitted as she followed Cailin with a curious Jane on her heels.

"Jane doesn't have an apartment," Cailin explained with a scoff.

"Uhh, yeah I do. All my stuff is there and everything. Shoes, dishes… dog," Jane listed in confusion.

"Oh…" Cailin glanced between them with a confused frown.

"Oh?" Maura prompted.

"I thought all of Jane's stuff was here. I mean, you've got shoes and dishes here. Usually, Jo is here too."

"You thought I lived here?" Jane's eyebrows shot up as she gaped at Cailin.

"I mean, yeah." Cailin gave Jane a pointed look. "You're here every time I'm here, you were here when I was staying for a week even when Maura wasn't here, half the coats in the front closet are too big to be Maura's… plus you've been dating since I've known you so I kinda just assumed you lived here." Cailin looked over at Maura with that knowing look and it set Maura off in a frustrated rage.

"Did _everyone_ know but me?" Maura threw her hands up. She could finally place the look. No wonder she'd received it so frequently. All of her research was so obvious that she didn't even need to do it. The answer had been there the entire time in the eyes of her friends and family, screaming _'she loves you. She_ loves _you! SHE LOVES YOU!'_ and Maura had simply been too blind or too ignorant to notice it. It enraged her beyond belief. "I am a scientist! I am a genius! How did I not _notice?"_ Maura continued to yell and accentuated her words with hand gestures (she would later attribute the movements to being surrounded by so many Rizzolis and learning their behaviour) and the other two women stared at her in shock until Jane approached and gently shook her shoulders.

"Okay, she's lost it. Anyone with Martin genes, on the couch!" Jane ordered and pointed to the sofa. "Come on, _genius,_ go sit down. You too, kid."

The three of them moved to the living room. Jane paced back and forth on one side of the coffee table while Maura and Cailin exchanged confused looks on the couch.

"So…" Jane finally started to speak as Maura followed her pacing. "Since you've known us, you believed we were dating, correct?"

"Correct," Cailin responded and Jane nodded smartly.

"And your mother also thought we were together?" Jane continued her interrogation.

"Yeah… are you guys not 'out' or whatever?" Cailin asked.

"I'm asking the questions here." Jane pointed to Cailin and Maura tried not to smirk at the interrogation technique. Maura thought it rather interesting that Cailin thought it more likely that they weren't 'out,' instead of the actual truth; they were not a couple. "The whole time you thought we were a couple?"

"A couple," Maura added, "as in two people who are married, engaged, or otherwise closely associated romantically or sexually?"

"Thank you, Merriam-Webster," Jane sassed.

"I mean, look at your mantel and tell me what I was supposed to think," Cailin pointed to the shelf above the fireplace. Maura followed her hand and, although slightly embarrassed, smiled sweetly at the picture frames and items there.

There were framed photographs of Maura and the Rizzolis during Christmases and family gatherings, but most of the images were photos of her and Jane. There was a picture of the two of them sitting in their booth at the dirty robber pretty early on in their friendship. Jane and Maura had switched beverages and Jane had insisted they get photographic evidence of Maura drinking beer. They both smiled at the camera and Jane gave her 'bunny ears.' There was a photo of Bass tolerating Jo Friday snuggled with him because of her body heat. There were photos of Maura and Jane together at several events, such as baseball at Fenway or an art gallery or museum, dressed up. The newest addition was the photograph Angela had taken at the beach of the two of them with TJ wearing Maura's hat. Objectively speaking, if Maura were to walk into her house as a stranger and look at the photos she would surmise that she and Jane were a couple. Those photos had been there for years. It annoyed Maura to no end that she'd been so oblivious to Jane's feelings for her and her feelings for Jane.

"Okay, fair enough." Jane shrugged and then sat in the armchair calmly.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Maura asked her sister.

"Would I have had to if Jane was a man? No," Cailin answered herself before she continued. "If you guys don't want people to know you should hide it better. People don't care about this anymore so you shouldn't have to feel like hiding, but you could do a better job of it. I mean, you stock Jane's beer in your fridge and I've seen you staring at her ass like a hundred times." Cailin shrugged and Maura glanced at Jane in a panic. To her utter astonishment, Jane smirked.

"Well, I _do_ have an amazing glutenous maximum or whatever." Jane shrugged with forced casualness as she failed to hide her amusement.

"Gluteus maximus," Maura corrected the phrasing but could not deny that she often appreciated Jane's, nor that Jane did indeed have an amazing one.

"Anyway, I do have an apartment, but… thanks for, I don't know, not being homophobic or whatever." Jane waved her hand in the air.

"She's not the only one who thinks we're together. Nor is she the only one who thought we've been together since we met. Susie, your mother, Frost and Frankie, Hope… Korsak," Maura started to list the people who gave her 'the look.'

"Korsak?" Jane looked at Maura in surprised confusion and then mumbled, "Nobody ever said anything…"

"I suppose they thought we'd simply figure it out ourselves." Maura shrugged.

"That does _not_ sound like my mother," Jane snarked and Maura chuckled. "So everyone we know thought we were together or hoped that we would end up together?"

"It would certainly seem so," Maura admitted and Cailin nodded. Jane seemed to think something over in her head before she nodded.

"Well, okay then. I'm off to get Jo," Jane smiled at them, unbothered by the information she'd just learned.

"Oh, I made a few calls for you. There's a folder on the desk in my office with names of suitable people," Maura said discreetly and Jane nodded to let Maura know that she understood. "Perhaps you can research them while you're out?"

"Yeah." Jane smiled on her way to grab the folder.

"You guys are _so_ married," Cailin muttered and Maura laughed.

"I assure you, we are not," Maura denied with a smirk.

"You made calls for her? Married," Cailin chuckled. Instead of responding, Maura simply shrugged and recalled Jane's words from earlier that morning, when she had said she wanted everything with Maura, marriage included. Jane returned smiling and kissed the top of Maura's head from behind the couch before she headed toward the door.

"See you later, Maur, bye Cailin," Jane called. The sisters responded in kind.

" _Married_ ," Cailin muttered.

"Would you like lunch?" Maura stood from the couch and moved to her kitchen and Cailin chuckled, presumably at the obvious change of topic.

"Sure. I was hoping you might be willing to help me with some of my work," Cailin admitted. Maura opened the fridge door to hide the wide grin that appeared at the prospect of helping her little sister with her homework. She used to fantasize about the activity when she was younger and wished she wasn't an only child.

"I'd love to," Maura admitted, taking out leftovers Angela had left in the fridge at some point.

* * *

After a couple of hours spent with her sister, Cailin went home and left Maura to muse over the assumptions the younger woman had made. Maura chuckled at herself, though she was frustrated and confused that she had been so blind to her own emotions for so long. In general, she was above average at self-reflection, but Jane had always been an enigma so it followed that Maura might be ignorant of anything that had to do with Jane, including her own feelings toward her. Maura moved to her office, intending to add a new entry to the 'Jane Journal.' She paused in the doorway in a slight panic. There, upon her desk, the very journal in question was in plain sight. It was the only item left out and Maura was certain that Jane would have seen it. She took tentative steps toward it and let out a breath of relief as she noticed that it was at least upside down so the title was hidden. She hoped Jane had ignored the book and instead only grabbed the names of available therapists, but she also knew that Jane's curiosity was not easily assuaged. She knew she wanted to show Jane her findings, but due to the sections that depicted Jane's sexual response, she worried that it might be insensitive to show Jane so soon. Maura elected to wait to show Jane and write about more emotional aspects of their connection and possibly any progress Jane shared with her.

_Data and Analysis: Of what? I'm not sure._

_I have considered every fact up until this point. I've researched and theorized and attained so much evidence within these pages that the answer is screaming at me. What I failed to consider, though, was that I didn't need to think about anything at all. For all my years of compartmentalization, I failed to consider the notion that perhaps I could 'compartmentalize' my scientific mind and simply allow myself to feel._

_An interesting observation is that these entries started as factual. These entries had been scientific in the pursuit of the truth. As time wore on and I began to understand my feelings for Jane, the entries became more and more personal without me even realizing the steady climb that took me further from science and closer to how I feel for her._

_In the end, it didn't matter how long I spent researching emotional and physical attraction. It didn't matter how I'd chronicled every one of Jane's glances, every touch of our hands, every moment shared between us that might be anything more than friendship. In the end, what I learned is that I don't need to understand the yearnings of my heart, I just had to offer it to the right person._

_P.s. Jane is my person._

She drew a picture of Bass wearing one of Korsak's favourite ties around his neck with a little speech-bubble saying _'She loves you.'_

Maura snapped the book shut at the sound of the front door opening and smiled as Jo's nails clicked against the floor in search of Bass. Maura slid the book into her top drawer and left her office. She found Jane on the floor in the living room, chuckling as Jo ran around Bass, who was so used to the dog's antics by now that he didn't even try to hide. Jo quickly got tired and simply laid next to the tortoise and Bass stayed there appreciating the heat radiating off of the small dog. Jane patted both animals and Maura chuckled, causing Jane to jump.

"You can deny liking Bass all you like, detective, but the evidence doesn't lie," Maura teased and Jane rolled her eyes before standing. That's when Maura noticed that Jane had changed into a pair of dark jeans and a dressy red blouse. Curious, Maura decided to try her hand at a joke. "Do you have a date that I'm not aware of?"

"Yep." Jane nodded and Maura tried her best not to look offended or confused. They hadn't talked about the status of their relationship after all. Jane read her anyway, as she always did, and hastily continued. "With you! If you want to go… I just… I figured that since everyone thinks we're dating anyway, we might as well actually go on a date?" Jane stated and then nervously started to pick at one of her fingernails.

"Okay." Maura smiled.

"Okay?"

"Of course, it only makes sense. What did you have in mind?" Maura asked, curious to know what Jane had planned in the few hours since they had been separated.

"Okay, well I know you don't exactly _love_ the movies, but I figured you could make an exception for this one. It's _'Planet of the Apes.'_ I thought we could watch it and _I_ would like it, then afterward you can tell me all of the scientific inaccuracies." Jane wiggled her eyebrows and Maura laughed.

"That sounds delightful." Maura smiled and Jane grinned. "You look nice."

"Well, go get ready so you can look nice too!" Jane teased to hide the blush on her cheeks and Maura left to do just that. She stood in her closet and looked at her many, many dresses, debating which of her options best suited the events of the evening. Maura decided to wear one of her deep blue sundresses and use red accent pieces so that she would match Jane's outfit discreetly.

"I didn't mean _that_ nice," Jane said as Maura re-entered the living room, causing both women to blush slightly.

"These are my casual clothes," Maura defended her choice of outfit, not for the first time. Jane rolled her eyes but smiled.

"I don't know why I expected anything other than _couture._ " Jane chuckled.

"I look nice," Maura declared as she walked to the closet by the front entrance and transferred her important items from her regular purse to the red one that matched her outfit the best.

"You always look nice," Jane said, and although the words sounded like a complaint, Maura appreciated them nonetheless. Jane guided Maura out of the front door and then held the passenger car door open with a flourish. Maura smiled at her appreciatively. Instead of heading right to the theatre, Jane stopped by a store, coming back to the car with a bag full of several snacks. Once they got to the theatre, Jane started stuffing some of the snacks into her pockets and up her sleeves.

"Jane, you can't bring those in, it's against the rules!" Maura complained, shocked that Jane would behave in such a way.

"So? I'm not paying sixty dollars for two drinks and a popcorn. _That_ should be against the rules," Jane argued just as strongly. "Here, put these in one of the smaller pouches in your purse."

"No!" Maura denied, "I will not help you break the law."

"It's not a _law_ , Maur, it's just some dumb theatre rule to sucker people into buying their overpriced garbage. It's unamerican, and we're not going to stand for the injustice," Jane explained and although Maura knew Jane was right, she still felt uneasy about smuggling in contraband. "C'mon, Maur! Remember that time Frankie caught you spray painting? What did you tell me?" Jane asked.

"...That I liked it!" Maura admitted and momentarily hid her face behind her hands. "That it reminded me of who I used to be. Someone fun! Someone who took chances! I feel so… routine and boring sometimes." Maura chuckled at herself.

"Are you insane?" Jane guffawed. "You're the most interesting person I know. Maura, you know how to pick locks… You got me to do emergency surgery on your leg in the middle of the woods for Christ's sake! Boring? Really? You amaze me every single day with _something!_ Maybe you don't ride horses across campus naked to fight budget cuts, and maybe your life has become a little more _routine_... but that's because we're adults, Maura, it's supposed to be like that. Just because the fun, _amazing_ things you do every day aren't illegal, doesn't mean they don't take courage. You're the bravest person I know. You don't need to spray paint the side of the Ritz to be interesting, Maur, you're already enough. Now, help me smuggle this candy into the movie theatre please?"

"When did you become reasonable?" Maura muttered through the thickness in her throat and they laughed together as Jane reached across the console to hug her. Jane's words struck a chord in Maura's heart that she had assumed was no longer functional. "Why did this just convince me to smuggle snacks into the theatre?"

"We don't cross the line, Maur, but it's okay to dip a toe over it now and again." Jane smirked.

"Fine, give me the drinks and chocolate." Maura beckoned with her hands and Jane beamed. They got out of the car and Jane laughed at Maura's attempts to behave naturally, which only cause her already rigid demeanor to become more severe.

"Be cool, Maura," Jane sassed.

"I have never in my life, not once, been described as 'cool,' Jane. You know this," Maura whispered harshly as they walked up to the kiosk to buy their tickets.

"No, I meant… nevermind. Just stop acting like you ran over someone in the parking lot, alright?" Jane nudged her with her elbow and Maura rolled her eyes but began some calming breaths. "Two tickets to _'Planet of the Apes,'_ please," Jane spoke to the attendant.

"Would you like any drinks or snacks?" The young man behind the counter offered and Maura's heart rate skyrocketed before Jane shook her head in the negative.

"Nah, we're good, thanks." Jane took the tickets and pulled Maura into the theatre, finding their seats easily in the mostly empty room. "You're not going to faint on me, are you?"

"No, I didn't lie, nor did I do anything illegal," Maura reasoned out loud. At Jane's knowing smirk, Maura had to laugh at herself for panicking about smuggling a chocolate bar into the theatre and at the excitement she felt. "Quite the way to live on the wild side," she teased herself and Jane and they laughed as the pre-movie commercials started to play. As the movie played and they finished their contraband snacks, Jane reached over the armrest to lace her fingers with Maura's and Maura let her head fall onto Jane's shoulder for the remainder of the movie.

* * *

"I can't believe you liked it," Jane said as they exited the theatre still hand in hand.

"Well, aside from the glaringly obvious scientific inaccuracies you warned me about, the storyline was quite imaginative and heartwarming. Though I do prefer the original," Maura stated.

"Of course you do." Jane rolled her eyes. "I thought we were going to have a repeat from when I got you to watch _J_ _urassic Park'_ with me."

"It was early in our friendship and I was unprepared for the inexactness of that movie, though I can now admit that it was quite impressive for its time. I researched it after we watched it and they used up to date science of the time, and considering the limitations in place, it is admittedly, impressive." Maura assessed.

"Are you saying you were _wrong_ and that you like that movie now, too?" Jane raised an eyebrow.

"I'm saying that I'm passionate about dinosaurs and that with more knowledge and upon further reflection, that my opinion has changed," Maura admitted and then smiled at Jane's laugh.

"Okay, we can go with that," Jane chuckled as they walked toward the car. Maura spotted a couple of other detectives that hung around with Crowe and Maura stiffened at the sight of them, unsure of how Jane would react. She discreetly indicated toward the men so Jane would be aware of them and loosened her grip on Jane's hand, but Jane held her tighter.

"Damn, Rizzoli," one of the detectives, Picard, called out, "I didn't know you were actually dating Mrs. Frankenstein," he joked and the other detective laughed.

"You wanna be next on her slab, Picard?" Jane growled and the man scoffed.

"Can't believe she settled for you," he continued to harass Jane.

"I'm twice the detective you are and twice the woman you'll ever get. _Doctor Isles_ gets whatever the hell she wants, and if that's me, you can shut the fuck up about it or I'll haul you to the station myself and get you charged for harassing her," Jane continued in her confident tone and the men rolled their eyes before continuing on their way.

"Jane!" Maura hissed, "I can't believe you just threatened him!"

"We've been over this, Maur. It wasn't a threat, it was a defense tactic… like when you _didn't_ threaten Kitty Vansen." Jane smirked as Maura scowled at her. Her body was reacting to Jane's defense and although she knew her arousal was due to a leftover primitive response telling her that Jane was a suitable mate, the reasoning didn't make her any less aroused. She would have to come up with a plan to mitigate her sexual response to Jane before it became a problem.

When they got back to Maura's after their date, Maura elected to take a shower and used the removable showerhead's various settings for more than simply cleaning herself. Relaxed and temporarily satiated, she returned to the living room dressed in her silk pajamas and watched _Jeopardy_ with Jane.

"You didn't panic today," Maura broke the silence after some time. Jane looked at her in confusion so she elaborated. "When Picard caught us on a date and harassed you. You didn't panic. What was different?"

"Oh," Jane responded in understanding and became pensive before she continued. "I don't know, I guess what we were doing was something I could classify as innocent enough. I mean, it helped me to learn that everyone who knows us already supports us and I guess if Boston already thinks we're together then I shouldn't be upset that people notice us together. It's just hand-holding. People do that all the time."

"So it's okay for me to hold your hand?" Maura asked, trying not to sound too hopeful.

"Yeah," Jane nodded. "I want to hold your hand… I guess if I think about it as intimacy instead of something that might lead to… you know, sex, then it's okay if people see me doing it. I don't know. It doesn't make much sense, does it?"

"I think it does," Maura reassured her. "An innocent intimacy is acceptable because, in your experience, people have historically been accepting of it. It wasn't until your… friendship with Clara took a more physical turn that people reacted negatively. That makes sense." Maura gave Jane's thought process the credit it deserved and Jane nodded.

"I called doctor Evans, the shrink from work, and he says he just has to do a cursory meet-up with me to make sure whatever is triggering me won't affect my job, which it won't, and that if I'm going to do therapy outside of work, I can still do my job," Jane updated and Maura smiled.

"That's great. Did you call any of the people I found for you?" Maura asked.

"No, not yet. I researched them though. One of them is here in Boston and she seems like the best choice for me." Jane shrugged and played with her hands.

"Doctor Peddar? Yes, she's incredibly good at her job. She helped me greatly," Maura admitted, both to show Jane that going to therapy was okay and to make Jane more comfortable in her decision.

"You've met her?" Jane seemed surprised.

"Yes. She was the doctor that suggested the immersion therapy that helped overcome my social anxiety," Maura explained, unashamed at her own need for help.

"Oh. That makes me feel better… I'll call her tomorrow," Jane admitted. "I can't believe everyone knew I had feelings for you but never said anything."

"If it makes you feel better, _I_ didn't know until very recently, and even then I wasn't entirely sure." Maura smiled at Jane who chuckled. "I'm going to go visit Susie tomorrow. It'll give you privacy for your phone call and I can ask her why she never said anything about our obvious attraction to each other."

"Careful, or she might become afraid of both of us," Jane teased and Maura grinned.

* * *

After a relaxing evening with Jane, the two women slept easily in the same bed as they often did, but this time, Jane held Maura tenderly from behind for the duration of the night, and Maura woke to feel blissfully complete. She left Jane a note to remind her of her plans to go see Susie Chang. It was a little after eight by the time Maura had arrived at the criminalist's house and she felt only slightly bad for ignoring the social mores that her mother had taught her. She was beyond them at the moment, and try though she might, she often ignored them accidentally anyway. Maura took a deep breath and knocked on the door, waiting for a few seconds until a pajama-clad criminalist opened the door. The pajamas were black with little skeletons on them, though it was nowhere near Halloween.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Maura started and sighed at herself for being impolite, and then got even more frustrated at herself for her intense need to always be proper.

"Uhh, hi doctor Isles." Susie rubbed one of her eyes and then stared at Maura in confusion.

"I'm knocking on your door at eight-fifteen on our day off, Susie, I think I've lost the right to ask you to use my title," Maura waved off.

"O-kay… well then, doc- Maura, why didn't I tell you what?" Susie asked and finally stepped to the side to allow Maura into her home. Maura walked into the open floorplan space and immediately thought it was perfect for Susie. It was clean and beachy, which likely suited Susie's nudist tendencies well, and there was a display of a scapanorhynchus skeleton in the corner of the room next to a shelf filled with other fossils. Maura loved the space immediately.

"Your home is amazing!" Maura declared, momentarily distracted by her excitement. She'd only ever been on the outside of Susie's house to drop off baseball things, and that had been years ago.

"Thanks. I like dinosaurs," Susie shrugged and Maura beamed.

"Me too! Did you know that- wait, this is not why I barged in on you. I'm quite mad, actually," Maura admitted.

"Mad? At me? What did I do?" Susie asked in the most argumentative tone Maura had heard her use.

"Nothing! That's the point! You knew the whole time and you never said!" Maura spoke loudly but not loud enough to be shouting. She still respected and liked Susie, even in her frustration with her colleague.

"Doc- Maura, it's eight in the morning. Not that I'm not happy to see you, but what on Earth are you talking about?" Susie asked as she ambled tiredly over to the kitchen.

"Jane!" Maura exclaimed and Susie cringed a little.

"Oh…" Susie took a deep breath and looked at Maura with a leveled expression. "Coffee?"

"I… Okay, yes. What kind?" Maura asked as she sat at the table by the counter.

"I just got it shipped in from Nicaragua. It's organic and fair trade and it tastes _amazing_ ," Susie gushed as she pulled out a french press and started boiling water. Maura looked at the coffee can, noted that it was her absolute favourite brand, looked at the french press, turned back to view the fossils and skeleton once more before her eyes finally settled on the criminalist.

"Susie," Maura drew her attention momentarily from the coffee-making, "would you like to be friends with me?" Maura asked, and for the first time in a long time, she wasn't worried about rejection. Susie smiled widely over her shoulder.

"I'd like that," she admitted.

"Good. Me too," Maura smiled and waited until Susie had brought over the coffees, having made Maura's perfectly (she'd gone to the café for Maura several times over the years), before she continued their conversation. "Why did you never say anything?"

"Well, at first I thought you guys were already dating, and honestly, I was kind of terrified of Jane and freaking out about working with you because you're so cool," Susie laughed at herself and then at the look of disbelief on Maura's face. "Okay, well, you're cool to me. Anyway, so I just kept quiet, but then Jane started to see that army guy and I was shocked, but I didn't want to ask because Jane is kind of…"

"Prickly?" Maura offered with a smirk and Susie nodded gratefully.

"Yes. Jane can be prickly, so I didn't say anything. Plus, although our work relationship has always been positive, you're still my boss and it wasn't my place to question you about it. Then you guys both spent years casually dating men, even though it was _so_ obvious you guys were attracted to each other, so I figured one of you was too afraid to date the other or something. It didn't occur to me that you didn't know until you asked me to help you with your research."

"So why didn't you tell me when I asked?" Maura prompted.

"I did, Maura," Susie chuckled and Maura's eyebrows drew together in confusion. "I listed everything Jane did for you and in the end, I even brought up her name. I told you in every way that I could given our workplace relationship," Susie explained and Maura realized that the criminalist, that her new friend, was right.

"How have I been so blind?" She asked, desperate for an answer.

"Sometimes the timing isn't right. Maybe you subconsciously avoided it until now. Do you think Jane would have been open to dating you if you'd asked her out at the beginning of your friendship?" Susie asked and Maura snorted, and then felt embarrassed about the snorting.

"No, absolutely not," she admitted.

"Well, then perhaps it's for the best that you came out in the interview with Kitty," Susie shrugged.

"I did not _come out_ in the interview, I said 'no comment,'" Maura tried to defend herself and Susie grinned at her.

"Do you want to get hives?" Susie chuckled at Maura's scowl.

"Fine," Maura conceded, "I did not _mean_ to come out during the interview, but that was the result."

"So are you and Jane together now?"

"I think so," Maura smiled and Susie clapped her hands together in excitement, and Maura was reminded of Angela for some reason.

"Finally!" Susie exclaimed and Maura laughed, equally as excited as the criminalist, if not, more so.

* * *

In the few days following, Jane got the all-clear to continue to work and had her first session with doctor Peddar. Maura knew nothing about it beyond the fact that it had gone well but she was happy to know that Jane was so open to receiving the help she needed. Their relationship continued the way it had been, albeit with increasing hand-holding, more body contact, and more kisses to each other's faces and heads. It was an odd sort of intimacy but Maura had so far been able to satiate her own sexual needs while she enjoyed the more tender aspects of a relationship with Jane. 

As much as it was slow torture to have Jane so close but so unobtainable, it was also magical for Maura to experience. There were no kisses, there was no grabbing, controlling hands, no sultry words uttering erotic promises into her ear, but there was so much love that Maura hardly knew what to do with herself. There were gentle caresses to her face, and the look that filled Jane's eyes when she gazed at Maura made her feel more adored and cherished than she had in her entire life. This limbo she was in, the precipice of more but not the promise of it, was everything she should have had; everything she'd missed during boarding school while she had been too afraid to talk to people. Now she got to experience it for the first time with Jane, the one person she loved to share new experiences with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the importance for Jane here is learning that everyone she values is already supportive. That's why she had that weird conversation with Cailin and Maura. Character growth and shit.
> 
> Maura is also learning what she truly needs in a long-term relationship for the first time in her life.
> 
> The focus of this story isn't sex at all, though I am likely to include smut because, well, I love it. I really wanted to focus on how same-sex couples often have some sort of purity in their love that is not often depicted in my experience.
> 
> We gone get more fluff soon. -JJ


	9. Thermoregulation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there's a mishap with a water balloon, a shirt, and a basketball.

"Maura!" Jane called up the stairs. Maura sighed impatiently and decided on the white blouse laid out in front of her. She was going to be in the sun all day and she wanted to draw as little heat as possible, so white simply made the most sense. She hung her other blouses back in the closet before pulling her white blouse on and tucking it into her high-waisted shorts. She chose a belt that would match her running shoes and outfit, then brushed her hair into a ponytail before she finally made her way down the stairs. Jane gaped at her.

"You can't wear that, Maura," Jane stated and pointedly looked at Maura's shirt.

"Why not? It's light enough that the sun won't affect me as much as it will affect you and I can move comfortably in this outfit. You should wear a light hat so your hair doesn't heat up. Your clothes are all black so you'll need to stay extra hydrated with how much you'll be attracting the sun," Maura warned in an attempt to be helpful, but Jane rolled her eyes.

"Don't you remember what we did last year?" Jane asked and Maura thought back to the BPD's annual team-building, summertime exercise 'Prizapalooza.'

"Yes. We won, Jane." Maura smirked, confident that they would once again take home the gold (which usually involved fudge clusters).

"Okay, yeah, but there were water balloons involved and you have a white shirt on," Jane pointed out and Maura scoffed.

"Are you questioning my athletic skills _again,_ detective Rizzoli?" Maura tested. She was slightly offended that Jane doubted her, especially because their water balloon didn't break last year.

"No!" Jane argued back. _"You're_ the one who claims to like being prepared for everything, but whatever." Jane rolled her eyes before checking her watch. "You know what? You don't have time to change anyway or we'll be late. Don't come crying to me when the squad is laughing because they can see your boobs," Jane warned.

"Nobody is going to see my breasts," Maura argued. "I'm quite skilled if you'll remember."

"I remember," Jane admitted and got into the passenger seat of Maura's Prius.

* * *

They pulled up to the park that had been selected for that year's games and as they got out of the vehicle the scent of barbeque greeted them.

"You ready to get your ass handed to you?" Frankie nudged his older sister playfully and Jane scoffed at him.

"Yeah right, I've got Maura as my partner. Who're you stuck with this year?" Jane asked.

"Frost." Frankie smirked and Jane gaped at him.

"I thought Barry would be partnering with Vince," Maura mused, "He has every other year."

"Korsak says he's too old," Frankie shrugged. "So I did what any decent person would do and stepped up," he spoke with forced casualness but he couldn't quite hide his cocky grin.

"That was polite of you," Maura complimented and Jane smacked her in the stomach with the back of her hand.

"He's being an ass, Maura," Jane whispered.

"Oh…" Maura considered Frankie and squinted her eyes accusingly at him. "Well, I suppose Frost was looking for a partner whose skill was equal to Korsak's… I'm insinuating that you'll play like an old man," Maura explained and Jane laughed. Frankie gasped at her which made her chuckle.

"You're a bad influence on her, you know that?" Frankie accused his sister but Jane smirked. Frankie scowled at Maura and walked away.

"We _so_ need to win this," Jane exclaimed as they walked through the field toward the crowd of BPD employees.

"Is it even a competition?" Maura asked cockily. They'd won every year since they'd partnered up and she was confident in their statistics. Jane laughed, grabbed her hand, and pulled her to where everyone was gathered around Cavanaugh.

"Alright!" The lieutenant addressed the group. "Partners are as follows, Frost and Rizzoli Junior, Rizzoli Senior and doctor Isles, Crowe and Picard, Mulder and Scully, and Banner with Holiday. We've got four activities. One team will be eliminated after they come in last place during each activity. The last team remaining wins. Understood?" He explained with all the seriousness he normally had during a case and a few people chuckled at the tone. After everyone nodded he continued. "Good. First up is the three-legged race. Use a jumping rope to tie a leg to your partner's and this year we're running around the track. Might as well use this as an excuse to keep you guys in shape, right?" He grinned and a few people, including Jane, groaned in a complaint before they moved to tie themselves up and get in place as the start of the red gravel race track with white lines to indicate lanes.

"We just have to set an appropriate pace and then follow it around the track," Maura explained and Jane nodded. "You can set it, I'll keep up. I'm the better runner. Just say one and I'll step with my left foot, two and I'll step with my right foot. Then after I get your pacing we can win!" Maura finished excitedly and Jane grinned at her.

"You got it, chief," Jane teased and they waited for Cavanaugh to count off the start of the race.

"On your marks! Get set! GO!"

"One, two, one, two, one, two…" Jane followed Maura's instructions and instead of struggling at the beginning as the other teams did, they easily fell into pace with each other as they usually did while running together. Maura focused on Jane's pace and smiled as they crossed the finish line first. They tried to turn to hug each other but the rope holding their feet together made them fall over into the grass, which caused them both to start laughing. "We won!"

"I knew we would!" Maura stated as she smiled at Jane, blushing at the fondness in Jane's eyes as she looked up at Maura. 

"You've still got three games left, ladies, don't count your chickens before they hatch," Korsak shouted from the bleachers and Maura looked at Jane for translation.

"It's a figure of speech. It means we haven't won yet, so calm down," Jane teased. Maura nodded and rolled off of Jane to untied their feet before helping Jane up.

They watched the rest of the racers cross the finish line. Frankie and Frost came in second. Holiday and Banner were the first to be eliminated. They moved to sit on the bleachers with Korsak to cheer the rest of the players on.

"Good job, teams!" Cavanaugh congratulated the remaining contestants. "Now I know last year with the water balloons we saw what team could keep tossing them back and forth for the longest, but this year we're going to do something a little different." he smiled deviously and the remaining four teams shifted. "If you look to the left, you'll see eight buckets." he gestured to the area where four were lined up in five-foot intervals, and directly across from those buckets, about twenty feet away, the buckets were mirrored. "Now, the buckets on the left each have fifty water balloons in them. The ones on the right are empty. Each team has to pick a catcher and a thrower. The thrower will have to toss the balloons across to the catcher who will place the balloons in the bucket. However many balloons you have in your bucket at the end is how many points you'll get!" He finished.

"Points?" Frost asked him, "we've never used a point system before."

"I'm keeping it fresh, Frost, don't question my methods," Cavanaugh complained and a few people chuckled. "Well, get going!" The teams followed the order and all got lined up.

"You want to throw? Your aim is better than mine," Maura reasoned and Jane nodded. They separated and waited for Cavanaugh's signal to start.

"GO!"

The teams started tosing balloons across the grass at their partners and laughing as the other teams broke some. Maura had caught most of the first few balloons that Jane threw at her and was beginning to get cocky.

"Watch out, Maura!" Frankie yelled and Maura looked up just as she was supposed to catch a balloon Jane threw at her and it caught on one of her fingernails, causing water to explode into her chest. She gasped at the ice-cold water and looked down to see that the white lace of her bra was easily seen against the tan of her skin through her wet shirt, which clung to her curves and left nothing to the imagination. She gawked down at herself for a moment, looked up to see a guilty and blushing Frankie, an appreciative Crowe checking her out shamelessly, while everyone else averted their gaze. She then looked at Jane, whose eyes were just as shocked as her own. Jane jogged toward her and tugged off her black T-shirt, blushing furiously.

"Put this on!" she commanded and Maura nodded, taking the shirt and pulling it over her head. "Seriously? _Lace?_ " Jane muttered under her breath. Jane was now wearing a black sports bra and although everyone else had gone back to playing, Maura was more distracted than ever. She'd seen Jane in less, in fact, she'd seen Jane in a rather skimpy bikini top a couple of weeks before, but then Jane had looked feminine and sexy, but this Jane was like a whole other person. This Jane, who had been exerting herself physically, had her muscles powerfully displayed, and the yoga shorts and sports bra did little to hide her strength. Maura took a moment to simply stare at Jane and appreciate Jane's ability to shapeshift from androgyny to masculinity or femininity depending on what she wore or what she did. She let her eyes roam over Jane's back as she walked to her spot and bit her lip at the sight of Jane's abs. She felt ridiculous.

"You ready?" Jane called. Maura could only nod. Maura, in her distracted state, dropped more balloons than she would have otherwise, but they still ended up with the most points at thirty-seven. Crowe and Picard came in second with thirty-two, Frankie and Frost in third with twenty-eight, and Mulder and Scully were eliminated. Maura took the time between games to remove her white shirt from underneath Jane's black one.

"Thank you for giving me your shirt," She sheepishly approached Jane and hung her wet shirt up on the back of a chair to dry in the sun. "...Even though you said you wouldn't help if everyone saw my boobs," Maura tried to lighten the mood with a joke and Jane chuckled.

"I called it. I know we didn't bet on it or anything, but I feel like you owe me," Jane teased and Maura tilted her head to the side.

"Name your price," she smiled flirtatiously at Jane who grinned back and glanced slowly down the length of Maura's body.

"Rizzoli! Stop flirting with your girlfriend and come play the game!" Picard shouted and Jane rolled her eyes before giving him the finger over her shoulder.

"Rizzoli and Isles!" Cavanough called and Jane's eyes widened before they both looked guiltily over at the lieutenant. "Asses over here now or you'll be disqualified!" He threatened. The other competitors laughed and Maura scowled at Frankie, who stuck his tongue out at her. "Okay, for the next challenge, you'll be making sandwiches! No, don't look at me like that, it's not as easy as you think! One person can only use their right hand, and one person can only use their left hand!" Cavanaugh explained.

"That's not fair, Janie's left-handed!" Frankie complained.

"Yeah, but have you seen her writing? It's not an advantage," Cavanaugh responded.

"What the hell? Is this _'make fun of Rizzoli'_ day?" Jane snarked.

"Every day is _'make fun of Rizzoli'_ day," Picard muttered.

"And you guys have an advantage because you're both women," Crowe teased.

"Keep talking like that and you won't be able to use _either_ of your hands ever again, you sexist piece of-"

"Rizzoli!" Cavanaugh cut off her rage and eyed the other two detectives accusingly, which shut them up. "Get to your stations!" He ordered and the three teams each stood beside a table, upon which were two slices of bread, a knife and mayo, lettuce, cheese, meat, and tomato slices. "Now, you're all building the same sandwich and all of the ingredients must be included. Whoever has the best looking sandwich gets ten points, second place gets five points, the people with the least amount of points are eliminated. The time limit is two minutes, starting… NOW!"

"I'll hold the jar, you twist off the lid," Jane said to Maura, who nodded and did as Jane suggested.

"Jane, pick up a bread slice," Maura ordered and Jane did as asked, picking up a bread slice with her left hand. Maura used her right hand and used the knife to gently smear some mayo on the slice of bread before Jane put it gently down onto the table. They took turns carefully adding the layers to the sandwich and had thirty seconds remaining by the time their masterpiece was complete. If the meat and cheese hadn't been sitting out in the sun all day, Maura might have even eaten it. She glanced at the other tables and saw that Crowe and Picard had shredded their bread slices somehow. She turned to grin mischievously and Jane who chuckled at her.

"Frost and Frankie are too far… I can't see how well they did," Jane told her and Maura leaned to try to see but also couldn't get a view.

"Time! Drop your stuff!" Cavanaugh yelled. He walked over to Frost and Frankie's table, nodded, seemingly impressed before he moved to the middle table where Crowe and Picard's monstrosity lay. He looked down at the pile of food that looked already chewed and laughed. He moved to Maura and Jane's and declared them the winners.

"Ten points to Rizzoli and Isles, five points to Frost and Frankie! Crowe and Picard are eliminated!" He declared.

"Come on, that's crap!" Picard complained loudly.

"Can't argue with the math, boys. I was going to disqualify you both for poor sportsmanship anyway, but I wanted to be fair and prove a point. You both need to work on your teamwork. I'm not blind and I'm aware of all the shit you've both been causing in my precinct. Get your acts together or you'll both be on desk duty until I retire," he threatened and Jane smirked. The eliminated team clamored over to the bleachers to pout. "Alright, next up is a little two on two basketball, it's as simple as that."

"What?" Jane asked loudly, "well they'll obviously win!" She complained and Frost grinned.

"Because I'm black?" He teased Jane who rolled her eyes.

"No, I've seen how you handle a basketball. Frankie kicks my ass every Sunday!" She complained. Cavanaugh knew this from the time he spent dating her mother and she glared at him while Frost and Frankie laughed.

"Hey, you've won so often, I figured I should even the odds. You're fourteen points ahead. What's to worry about?" Cavanaugh grinned at Jane's rage.

"We can do it, Jane!" Maura tried to encourage Jane who took a deep breath and rolled her eyes.

"Well, we can _try,_ " Jane muttered and they all walked onto the court where they were cheered on by the people on the bleachers.

"Same as usual, one basket is two points, no double dribbling, no traveling, you all know the rules?" He asked the players and they all nodded. Maura had researched the game after she had set Jane's nose and had even played on several occasions. When Tommy was on her team, they sometimes won against Jane and Frankie, but Jane and Maura were never able to win against Frankie and Tommy. It wasn't Tommy who was partnered with Frankie though, it was Frost, who was apparently not very good. She had hope. Maura didn't know what they were playing for, but she knew she wanted it. "Alright, Rizzolis, center court! The game will be thirty minutes after I toss the ball, got it? GO!"

Jane won the toss and threw the ball to Maura who dribbled it down the court and immediately got a basket. Maura did her best with the game. She kept up with the ball and blocked Frost and all of his shots as best she could, but Jane couldn't quite keep up with Frankie's skill. Frankie got five baskets before Jane was able to win the ball back from him.

"Forty-nine to forty-three for Isles!" Cavanaugh called from the sidelines and Maura smiled at the use of her last name. She knew it was just because using Jane's last name would cause confusion but she liked the feeling of inclusion. She looked over to the corner where Jane and Frankie were in the midst of a standoff and she became distracted by the rippling muscles of Jane's legs. She slowly looked up and her breath caught in her throat as she watched droplets of sweat cascade down Jane's abs. She bit her bottom lip at the flush of Jane's heaving chest and did not notice that Jane had won the ball and tried to pass it to her until it was too late.

"Maura, look out!" Jane called, but Maura put her hands up too late and the ball hit her directly in the face.

"Mother fffff-phooey," Maura cried out as she reached up to feel her nose. Heat and pain flared up and radiated from her face, making her eyes and teeth throb. She brought her hand away from her face wet with blood.

"Oh God, Maura, I'm so sorry!" Jane approached and grimaced as she looked at Maura's face.

"Is it bad?" Maura asked though she had some indication by the pain and blood. Frost and Frankie approached too.

"Ew," Frankie stated and Jane turned to punch him in the shoulder. "That looks exactly like yours did when I broke your nose, Jane," Frankie amended his assessment and Jane looked concernedly at Maura's nose.

"A hairline fracture?" Maura asked and Frankie shrugged.

"I'll go get you the ice pack and a mirror," Frost said and then ran off toward the coolers near the barbeque.

"Jane, does it look that bad?" Maura turned to her friend.

"I've seen worse…" Jane shrugged.

"Not including cadavers?" Maura reiterated and Jane grimaced.

"...I've seen better," Jane admitted and Maura smacked her shoulder at the untimely teasing. "Oh, come one, it's not that bad, I promise. You look... cool." Jane complimented and nudged Frankie who nodded smartly.

"Yeah, totally badass," he agreed with his sister. "Real tough."

"Can't you do something safe, life yoga?" Jane continued to tease and Maura laughed and then groaned at the pain.

"Jane, stop making me laugh," she complained as Frost returned with an icepack and the rearview mirror from his car. Maura and Jane both eyed it.

"What? It was all I had and only _she_ can diagnose herself!" He defended himself and Jane chuckled at him.

"Can you hold the mirror steady?" Maura requested and Frost handed the icepack to Frankie so that he could hold the mirror still. Maura adjusted the mirror until she could see the large bump on the side of her nose.

"Oh shoot," she complained.

"What? Is it bad?" Jane asked, chewing the side of her thumb as she shifted from foot to foot. "I'm sorry, Maura, I didn't mean to hit you with the ball."

"It's not your fault, Jane, I should have been paying attention to the game," Maura reasoned as she poked and prodded her nose.

"You were looking right at them, what else were you thinking about?" Frost questioned and Maura blushed before she glanced at Jane and turned back to her nose in the mirror.

"I was just… thinking about thermoregulation and voluntary muscle action in combination with it…" Maura hoped her explanation of being distracted by Jane's sweaty muscles would be adequate and scientific enough to bore her friends into leaving her alone about it.

"How do you expect to win when your teammate is that busy thinking about science?" Frankie teased his sister and Maura looked up to see that Jane had become quite red. It was likely from more than just exertion but she had no way to verify until Jane scoffed.

"Yeah, _that's_ what she meant," Jane muttered and Maura cleared her throat.

"You were right, Frankie," she forcefully changed the subject. "Hairline fracture... above the nasal bone to the lateral nasal cartilage… Rizzoli's seem to have a tendency to cause this injury during basketball…" Maura mused out loud.

"It was an accident, I'm so sorry," Jane apologized again and Maura shrugged.

"It's okay, I just need Frost to hold the mirror steady while I pop it back in place," Maura waved off her concern and Frost dropped the mirror.

"You want me to do what now?" He gaped at Maura.

"I'm the only one qualified," she reasoned and Frost bent to pick up the mirror before he handed it to Jane.

"Nope. Can't do it. Not today." Frost held up his hands in surrender and the Rizzoli siblings chuckled at him. Jane held the mirror up for Maura dutifully.

"I'm sorry I fractured your nose," Jane murmured as Maura put her hands in the proper place.

"It's my own fault," Maura reminded Jane and then popped her nose back in place before Jane could comment on Maura's distractedness during the game. "Oof, that's... that's more than a little painful," Maura admitted as her eyes watered.

"I told you. Badass," Jane grinned and Maura smiled despite the pain. Frankie handed her the ice pack and they all walked over to the bleachers.

"Jane broke Maura's nose. Do we win?" Frankie asked Cavanaugh and Jane smacked her brother in the back of the head. "Ow!"

"You don't win! We're ahead!" Jane gestured between herself and Maura.

"There are five minutes left for the match. You can one on one it if you want." Cavanaugh shrugged and Jane scowled at Frankie's cocky grin.

"I'll let you start with the ball," Frankie picked the basketball up and tossed it to Jane.

"Your nose is fine? We don't need a hospital?" Jane turned to verify with Maura before she agreed and Maura smiled even though Jane couldn't see it due to the ice pack.

"I'm fine, Jane. Go get us a prize!" Maura ordered. Jane grinned and leaned down to kiss Maura's cheek before running back onto the court.

"Come on, doc, sit with me." Frost led Maura to the bleachers and they sat together, watching the siblings head off.

"Alright, the current score is still forty-nine to forty-three for Isles. Five minutes on the clock, starting NOW!" Cavanaugh yelled and Jane skillfully twisted her body around her brother in an unexpectedly graceful way that Maura recognized immediately as a ballet maneuver. Jane ran up the court dribbling the ball and aimed her shot, only for the ball to be stolen in mid-air. Frankie made quick work of making a basket on the other end of the court and tossed the ball back to his sister.

"Let's go, twinkle toes," Frankie teased and Jane scowled at him. Jane made it look like she was going to move one way with the ball but quickly changed her footing and maneuvered around her brother once more. She took aim on the net and once again, it looked perfectly aligned but Frankie swiped the ball from the air just as it was about to go into the net.

"Forty-nine to forty-seven, thirty-five seconds on the clock!" Cavanaugh yelled out and the cheering from the bleachers got louder and louder. Maura watched with bated breath as Jane and Frankie jumped for the ball. Frankie got it first, but Jane stole it from him and ran a few paces toward Frankie's net but he caught up with her and blocked her shot.

"Move, Frankie!" Jane yelled and Frankie grinned at her.

"Or what? Are you gonna break my nose too?" He sassed.

"If I have to!" Jane sassed right back but Frankie did not move. Jane tossed the ball in a high arch over her brother's head to try to win a final basket but she missed by a foot. Frankie got the ball and easily made a basket for his team.

"Time!" Cavanaugh called and the Rizzoli siblings walked back toward the bleachers, sweating profusely and huffing for air.

"What? We tie?" Frankie asked and tossed Cavanaugh the ball before the lieutenant shrugged.

"It just so happens that I have two prizes this year. I had a feeling this might happen," Cavanaugh explained and Maura had to work to not roll her eyes and the use of people's intestinal instincts.

"You knew I'd break Maura's nose and tie with my brother at basketball?" Jane sassed her boss and a few people chuckled.

"Do you want a damn prize or not, Rizzoli?" he snarked and Jane glanced at Maura before she pouted and nodded. "Good, now shut up and go sit down." Jane and Frankie made their way to the bleachers and Jane sat next to Maura, placing one hand on her thigh. Maura pressed her lips into a hard line to keep from smiling like an idiot. "Great, so I wasn't sure who was going to win this year, so I got two tickets to Fenway and two tickets to that new winery that opened up on the Eastside. There's dinner and then a tour of the vineyard and wine tasting," Cavanough shrugged and pouted in distaste at the winery tickets.

"Dibs on the wine!" Jane called and Maura looked at her in surprise.

"But Jane, you love Fenway!" Maura argued but Jane shrugged.

"Yeah, but the Sox aren't playing there for a while _and_ I broke your nose, so…" 

"You did not break my nose, you fractured it. And you didn't do it on purpose, so it doesn't count," Maura argued again.

"If I run over someone with my car on accident and they die, it's my fault," Jane unreasonably reasoned and Maura sighed in frustration.

"You are impossible," Maura commented.

"Listen, I love you both but I don't exactly want to go on a date your brother just so you can watch baseball," Frost leaned forward to address Maura and Jane.

"Hey, I'm a catch," Frankie defended himself and Jane laughed.

"You want to go on a date with Frost?" Jane sassed and Frankie leaned behind the group to smack Jane in the back of the head. "Ow!"

"No! I'm just saying that if we were gay, he would be lucky to have me," Frankie argued and Frost laughed.

"Yeah I would, but I still don't want to go out on a date with you," Frost reasoned.

"There you go. Boys get baseball, we get a date night." Jane grinned at Maura.

"Well, if that's what you think is fair." Maura shrugged.

"Now that _that's_ settled," Cavanaugh stated exaggeratedly and the group chuckled before he handed them their respective tickets. "Everyone give a round of applause to the winners and then we can all go queue up for some burgers!" The group on the bleachers clapped and hollered to the two winning teams before they all moved to the barbeque, leaving Maura and Jane behind. Maura tried to stand and follow, but the pressure of Jane's hand on her thigh kept Maura seated. 

"Maura…" Jane began but shook her head and looked down at her feet where she kicked at the dirt.

"Jane I…" Maura wasn't sure what she wanted to say. Should she apologize for getting distracted? She couldn't. She wasn't exactly sorry for checking Jane out.

"Can I see your nose?" Jane turned to face Maura and Maura mirrored the movement before she removed the icepack. "It looks better already."

"It still hurts a bit," Maura admitted and Jane smiled coyly.

"Would you like me to kiss it better, doctor Isles?" Jane smirked and Maura blushed. Maura was not the type of woman one could easily make blush, but Jane seemed to have a knack for it.

"If you'd like," Maura murmured and Jane was suddenly leaning in, though she was not aiming for Maura's nose. Maura stayed still, letting Jane have complete freedom and control over the kiss that might not happen, giving Jane every opportunity to pull away, but Jane leaned slowly forward still, glancing into Maura's eyes before she closed the small distance between them.

The kiss was soft and innocent. Jane was so gentle as she pressed her lips to Maura's as if she was afraid that Maura might break, and Maura felt as if everything she'd been missing in her life was suddenly falling into place. Jane cupped the side of her face and Maura felt like life itself was breathing love into her.

Maura had been kissed before, but never so sweetly. There was awe and reverence in Jane's kiss that brought peace to Maura. Maura was nineteen when she had her first kiss from Garrett, and he hadn't been shy. She'd learned to expect the callous, almost forceful kisses that he'd given her, and then kissing was used as a lead up to sex. Every kiss she'd experienced after that was a means to an end. A cause and effect relationship. A necessary action to achieve a result.

This kiss though, the sweet, tentative motions of Jane's caring lips… Maura thought her first kiss should have been this. It wasn't a means to an end; it was the promise of so much more. It was the promise of everything else. It was courteous and loving, and so _Jane_ that she felt herself smiling, and in awe as Jane pulled away. It might not have been Maura's first kiss, but it was her last first kiss, she was sure of it, and it was perfect. It was her first kiss where she felt loved. Maura blushed as if she'd never been kissed at all before and she chuckled at the notion. One thing was for certain, she'd never been kissed like _that._

This kiss was the butterflies she'd never felt. This kiss is being nervous about what dress she should have worn to a junior prom she never went to. It was holding someone's sweaty hand in a dark movie theatre for the first time. This kiss was the experience of inexperience that she'd been too busy at the time to worry about, and she loved it. It filled her entire chest with more love than she could have hoped to receive in a lifetime and it made her want to smile and cry at the same time and she didn't care at all what science had to say about it.

The kiss was everything they both missed out on. Maura grabbed Jane's hand on the side of her face and held it there. Jane leaned in so that their foreheads were pressed together. It was a simple kiss and yet it was the most intimate Maura had ever felt.

Jane leaned back and kissed Maura's nose gently before pulling away and Maura finally opened her eyes. Jane was blushing too and seemed both nervous and pleased with herself at the same time as she squirmed on the bench. Maura thought it had to be the most adorable thing she'd ever seen in her life and she was rendered utterly speechless as feelings overwhelmed her.

"F-feel better?" Jane asked hopefully and Maura nodded as she stared at Jane's eyes. Jane smiled and let go of Maura's face to lift the icepack back up to Maura's nose for her. The cold pulled Maura from her haze. "Me too." Jane smiled softly, held her hand out for Maura's free one and they slowly walked together toward the barbeque to enjoy the rest of their day together.

If anyone had seen them kissing, nobody mentioned it and for that Maura was grateful. She was so happy Jane had kissed her but she was nervous because she wasn't sure how Jane would react to people commenting on it. Everyone was simply acting as if everything was normal though; likely because everything was.


	10. A Chemical Reaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kitty Vansen at it again.

Maura woke the morning after their game day to find a mess of dark curls splayed out on the pillow next to her. Jane had stolen the majority of the blanket and her long limbs were tangled in the mass of fabric. Maura chuckled and brushed some of the curls away from Jane's face.

Jane was a woman of action, even in sleep sometimes. Maura gently kissed Jane's temple before she got out of bed, pausing to lightly trace Jane's jawline, and again in the doorway to see if Jane looked just as cute from that angle.

She did.

Maura dutifully prepared the coffee maker, made sure Bass and Jo had food and then moved to her yoga room to start her morning stretches. After letting Jo out, she decided to take a few moments in her office to write an entry in her 'Jane Journal.'

_Further Supporting Data:_

_She kissed me. I understand now, what people are talking about when they say they have butterflies in their stomachs. It is impossible, yet that is exactly what it feels like. Rationally, I know that it is a simple surge of chemicals and endorphins, yet science cannot begin to explain how she makes me feel every day. She is my best friend, and yet learning who Jane is outside of the restraints of our friendship is the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced. She is my best friend, my partner in crime, she's who I go to for support and who I support in return. She is my rock and my confidant. She is all of those people at the same time and she kissed me. It was a simple, sweet, three-second kiss but it was the best kiss I've ever shared with anyone. I can't wait for her to do it again._

Maura felt giddy and silly as she wrote. She felt like an adolescent, but was not embarrassed about her feelings, nor was she shy about Jane reading her entries in the future. She took a spare few moments to draw an anatomically correct digestive system with butterflies filling up the empty stomach. She chuckled at the drawing and closed the journal, tracing Jane's name with her finger before returning the book to the desk drawer.

She walked back into the kitchen as the scent of coffee permeated the area and she inhaled deeply as she prepared two mugs. As a general rule, Maura did her best to keep food limited to the kitchen, dining room, and living room, but the thought of waking Jane up in bed with a coffee was all too appealing to her. She debated slightly as she thought about Jane's tendency to spill, but she intended to change the sheets that day anyway. She decided that only morning beverages and water would be allowed, but no food; she didn't want crumbs, after all, and she had to draw the line somewhere. Maura crept back to the bedroom, set the full mugs down on the side table, and turned off the alarm that was about to sound. She sat on the bed next to Jane and re-brushed the curls out of her face with a quiet chuckle that caused Jane to stir.

"Now I understand the term 'sleepyhead,'" Maura mused aloud and Jane's eyebrows drew together.

"What are you trying to say?" Jane asked, her voice hoarse from disuse. Maura grinned, elated at morning Jane's usually cranky demeanor. She held Jane's coffee out to her.

"That you're adorable and that you could really use this."

A sleepy grin appeared on Jane's face before she opened one of her eyes to see what Maura was offering. Jane's eyes widened in surprise.

"Coffee in bed? Emily Post would so _not_ approve," Jane sassed out a reference to the 'Queen of Etiquette,' and Maura laughed. She was overjoyed that Jane retained so many random facts that Maura informed her of.

"Then don't tell her," Maura joked and Jane looked at her in confusion as she sat up and took the mug.

"Didn't she die in like, 1960?" Jane asked and Maura chuckled.

"Yes! That's why the joke is funny! I'm impressed you remembered, detective," Maura stated as she grabbed her own mug and settled next to Jane. She was glad that for once the tables had turned and Jane was the one referencing obscure historical women and Maurawas the one making wisecracks that went over Jane's head. Jane chuckled before she took a sip from her coffee and groaned at the flavor. "You like?"

"The coffee? Hell yes. This that new stuff Susie made for you? God, it's good," Jane said and she took another sip. "Or did you mean the joke? Good one, Maur."

"Thank you," Maura smirked and then snuggled in closer to Jane. She found that despite her tendency to avoid physical contact as a general rule, she yearned for it with Jane. She hummed contentedly as she sipped her coffee. Her glee was overtaken by a frown at the sound of Jane's cell phone and Jane groaned. Maura recognized Frost's ringtone. She took Jane's mug to the kitchen to transfer it to a portable mug so Jane could take it to work. She was slightly disappointed when her own phone remained silent. Jane was on call but Maura had scheduled an alternate medical examiner to be on call that day and didn't have to be in the office until later. Jane walked into the kitchen, both trying to move and pull a sock on at the same time and Maura shook her head as Jane hobbled along on one leg. Maura held out the beverage as Jane ambled past her. "Your coffee."

"You are the perfect woman," Jane said as she grabbed the cup and tried to tuck her shirt in with one hand as she moved to the lockable drawer where her gun and badge were kept. Maura stifled a laugh as Jane finally tucked in her shirt and did her belt up before attaching the required items to her hip. "Gun, badge, socks, bra, keys… keys… Maur, have you seen my-"

Maura had anticipated the question and had plucked Jane's keys off of the counter during the detective's checklist. She dangled them out to Jane.

"-Did I already tell you that you're perfect?" Jane asked and then shrugged. "Whatever, it's still true."

Jane leaned forward to kiss Maura's cheek and then grabbed her keys. She sauntered confidently toward the door and pulled it open and Maura shook her head in disbelief as she wondered how Jane had lived as long as she had.

"Shoes, Jane," Maura called and Jane looked down at her socked feet, wiggled her toes, and then grinned at Maura.

"Right," Jane set her keys and coffee on the floor and pulled on her boots before she picked up all of her items once again and grinned at Maura who smiled at the lively mess of curls on Jane's head. "Anything else I'm forgetting, doctor Isles?"

"Try to find the time to eat something," Maura requested and Jane nodded before she left for the day.

"See you later, _Mom_."

Maura turned and sipped her own coffee before she washed both mugs and moved back to her bedroom to get ready for the day ahead of her. She had a few minutes left before she had to actually leave for work and decided to partake in one of her new guilty pleasures; keeping up with the news coverage of her and Jane. She often laughed at how incorrect the theories were. From them being friends with benefits to secretly married (a theory Cailin was sure to find amusing), Maura was often entertained. That morning, however, she was just plain offended as she watched Kitty Vansen theorize about them. An image of Jane walking away from her at the restaurant the night she had a panic attack was on the screen as Kitty spoke. It was easy to tell that it was an emotionally charged situation, but taken completely out of context.

" _As you can see in the photo, it looks as though detective Jane Rizzoli is leaving doctor Isles to finish their meal alone in the upper-class restaurant. We can't be sure what was said during this exchange, but it seems to me that there is trouble in paradise for Boston's favourite crime-fighting duo. Perhaps the spirited and driven detective could no longer handle the cold and calculating ways of the Queen of the Dead. After working with corpses for so long, one might wonder whether the doctor adopted some character traits from them. More details tonight at seven."_

Maura gasped. Her jaw dropped and she stared indignantly as Kitty moved onto the other stories she'd be covering later that evening. Maura looked across the couch to Jo Friday who was looking at her curiously.

"I am _not_ cold and calculating," Maura told the small dog who barked and moved closer to Maura in hopes of petting. Maura indulged the dog - if only to prove her point - and turned the television off. "I can't believe that horrible woman… cold. Pft. I only calculate when it seems appropriate!" Maura continued to complain as she walked to the back door to let Jo out for a final pee. "The nerve. I do not have the personality of a corpse," she told Bass before heading to work for the day, hoping to find solace in the safety of her morgue.

When Maura arrived at work, people were once again stopping their conversations as she walked into rooms. She ordered her usual latte from the barista, Karly, who was friends with Jane. What she received, however, was the iced version of her latte.

"I'm sorry, I ordered the regular latte and this one is iced," Maura politely tried to solve the error.

"Oh, I thought you liked everything cold," Karly said and then pointedly looked toward the television. Maura followed her gaze and looked at the image again. Objectively, it looked as though Maura had said something to make Jane run off in a hurry. The words 'Ice Queen' were on the screen with an arrow pointing to Maura. She stared at the television for a few moments as the patrons looked at her, waiting for her to react. She refused to give them the satisfaction. She wondered what the appropriate action was but was unable to come up with anything. She sighed, accepted that people who liked Jane might come to the wrong conclusion and be angry with her, and took the iced latte without complaint. She didn't want to cause a scene and she would offer the drink to Susie, who liked the beverage anyway. As much as Maura loathed to admit it, she was used to such treatment. She'd experienced it in every other workplace she had but the difference was that in this workplace she still had a support system, and she still had hope that everything would go back to normal. Karly was merely trying to be supportive of Jane and Maura couldn't blame her for that.

She found Susie in the lab next to the counters staring down at a pile of items that weren't normally there. Maura approached in confusion and groaned aloud when she was that it was a small pile of calculators with a note.

' _For all your calculations, Ice Queen.'_ She placed the iced latte next to the pile of calculators and had to fight the urge to rub her face in frustration.

"Why does the inclusion of a royal title feel so opprobrious?" Maura complained. "It's as though people assume that I think I'm above them, which is the farthest thing from the truth." She knew she was privileged but she worked hard to ensure that nobody she met felt that they were beneath her. Being described and cold and calculating stung, as did her personality being compared to a corpse, but the use of the word 'Queen' stung more. She didn't think she was better than anybody, quite the opposite was true a lot of the time.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Susie asked. Maura assessed for a moment and saw genuine concern in Susie's face. She sighed and looked down at the calculators.

"It's frustrating to have people jumping to conclusions about me based on one photo that was taken out of context. I feel I can't even get angry over these petty pranks because they're just evidence that people care about Jane's wellbeing, but I'm angry that after so many years of friendship, people don't seem willing to give me the benefit of the doubt. I wasn't doing anything wrong in that photo. Jane was running from the cameras, not from me," Maura ranted and Susie listened.

"For what it's worth, I didn't think you did anything wrong and I'm certain that you aren't cold. You're one of the most caring people I've ever met," Susie said kindly and Maura smiled sadly at her. "And I _know_ you only calculate when it comes to math and science." Maura had to chuckle at the comment. "This'll all blow over. As soon as Jane sees what's going on she'll put everyone in their place."

"I don't want to make her worry. She's likely busy with whatever new case she's working on. I'll just wait for it to blow over." Maura waved off and started to clean up the mess of calculators. Maybe she could drop them off at a youth center on her way home. 

"You're not going to tell her anything?" Susie asked in shock and began to help clean up.

"I'm sure that once people see that we aren't actually fighting they'll realize they made an incorrect assumption." Maura shrugged and Susie looked at her with concern. Maura knew Susie thought she was being naive, and maybe she was, but she would never let other people's behaviour make her unkind. Susie sighed before she looked at the cold beverage.

"Why did you get an iced latte?"

"Oh… you can have it," Maura smiled with forced casualness and Susie picked up the cup to inspect it.

"Iced Queen?" Susie read the name on the cup that Maura hadn't noticed. "Did they give you the wrong drink on purpose?"

"I believe Karly was trying to make a point. She's friends with Jane," Maura offered with a nonchalance she didn't feel and Susie sighed.

"Do you want me to go get you your regular?" She offered.

"No. I'm no longer in the mood. Also, it will likely be obvious that you'd be purchasing it for me, but thank you for offering… and for listening. You're a good friend," Maura said and Susie smiled at her. The lab's phone started to ring and Susie answered it.

"I'm needed at the courthouse. Are you sure you're okay?" Susie asked.

"Yes. I'll be fine, Susie, thank you," Maura smiled genuinely, happy to have a friend.

"Okay. Call me if you want to. I'll pick you up a coffee on my way back," Susie offered and without waiting for a response, she was gone, leaving Maura alone to sulk.

* * *

Maura was still in the lab several hours later and had not heard from Jane. She wasn't worried because it wasn't unusual for the detective to be out of the precinct for long hours. She was curious to find out about Jane's new case, though, as Maura hadn't been the medical examiner selected to intake the bodies. She didn't have _any_ new bodies, in fact, and was rather bored. She was angrily sanitizing all of her instruments and cleaning the morgue even though it was already spotless. She had nothing to do but wait for lab results and she was still reeling over Kitty's new theory and the pranks people had played on her. As much as it hurt to have people bullying her once again, she was determined to deal with the issue with poise and grace.

She had half a mind to call Jane to see if she could take over for whatever doctor was doing the preliminary assessment at the scene. Distraction would be helpful. Her phone vibrated and she scrambled to read the text, hoping for something, _anything,_ to do.

**Jane: How is your workload today?**

**Maura: Nonexistent.**

She hoped Jane would have a solution for her but she got no response. After a few minutes, she sighed and went back to cleaning until she could clean no more. She busied herself by sitting at one of the counters and scrolling through pages and pages of shoes, trying not to hope someone would find a body.

"Maura!" Jane walked into the morgue through the ambulance bay yelling and Maura startled.

"Jane?"

"I have presents for you!" Jane strutted over to where Maura sat on a stool and leaned on the counter next to her with a very self-satisfied smirk. Jane's presence alone changed the atmosphere of the room and Maura was immediately captivated.

"Oh? I like presents," Maura admitted and she looked Jane over to see if she was carrying anything. She had only a folder.

"Intake information from the scene I was called to. Now I know it's not protocol, but I had the other M.E. hand this case off to you, and Maur, you are about to be _so_ happy," Jane's excitement washed over Maura and her confusion and frustration with the day took a backseat. The bay doors where the bodies came though opened again and Barry Frost led a parade of men who pushed three gurneys. Maura fleetingly thought of a train line made of corpses.

"My presents are cadavers? That's a tad morbid for you, isn't it, Jane?" Maura eyed Jane questioningly, and her brown eyes sparkled.

"Yes. But you're weird, and corpses are your job, so it's fine," Jane argued. "Plus it's not the bodies, that's just the gift wrap. Okay, gross, I regretted saying that as soon as it came out." Jane winced at what she had just said and Maura had to stifle her chuckle.

"What's happening here?" Maura asked, confused but appreciative that Jane had gone through all of the trouble.

"So, we get a call to this weird food festival, right? All kinds of cuisine from all kinds of exotic places. Sounds fun, right? Everyone's stuffing their faces at every booth. Stomach contents are so vast that it would be quite a task for _anyone_ to be able to tell one thing from the next," Jane described and Maura had to admit that she was intrigued but unsure why the information was relevant.

"I'm going to vomit," Frost said as he listened to Jane's speech, but to his credit, he held it in.

"What about the bodies?" Maura asked and she knew her tone was curious and excited. Propriety be damned.

"All three of them died at the food festival. We need _someone_ to run toxicology and then to rifle through all the food in these guys' stomachs to see what similar food all three of them ate because our friends here were probably poisoned," Jane explained as she wiggled her eyebrows with a grin plastered on her face.

"Best presents ever," Maura declared as a fact and she turned eagerly toward the bodies and, forgetting present company, unzipped one of the body bags to reveal a vomit-covered corpse, causing Frost to promptly puke onto the floor.

"Now _those_ stomach contents were _not_ part of the gift," Jane muttered to Maura who winced at Frost's weak stomach.

"I'll go get the mop," Frost muttered before he walked out of the room to the supply closet.

"You brought me vastly complex and intriguing stomach contents?" Maura turned to Jane to ask. She felt a surge of appreciation for Jane. It was the oddest romantic gesture she'd ever received but she adored it. It represented Jane's full acceptance of her job and Jane's understanding of Maura's appreciation for science, even odd science that Jane thought was 'icky.' Maura had never had someone understand and accept her so completely. She was internally swooning.

"Course!" Jane shrugged. "It's your favourite part of an autopsy, right?"

" _You_ are the perfect woman," Maura repeated Jane's compliment from that morning and Jane grinned and stepped closer.

"Yeah?" Jane asked, smirking down at Maura.

"Mhmm," Maura confirmed and Jane leaned down to press another one of those soft kisses to Maura's lips. Maura sighed into the kiss, appreciating the tenderness of Jane's lips. Maura pulled away at the sound of the automatic doors and Jane glanced down at her with a furrowed brow.

"Really?" Frost called from across the room. "Next to _three_ dead guys, you two are making out? Give me a whole new reason to vomit," He complained as he began to clean up his mess.

"When else would I have gotten the chance today?" Maura shamelessly questioned and Jane chuckled. Maura carefully eyed Jane to see if she could find any symptoms of a panic attack but there were no visible signs.

"This is so weird," Frost complained. Maura didn't see what was odd about the situation of Jane gifting stomach contents to her. It showed the depth and understanding of their bond. She was going to explain it to him but she decided that she didn't mind if other people didn't understand her relationship with Jane. She did and Jane did, that was all that mattered.

"Yeah, well… Maura's kinda weird. She's a nerd about stomach contents, you're a nerd about Dungeons and Dragons, I'm a nerd about baseball. Everybody's got their thing. One of Maura's things just happens to be partially digested food. So what?" Jane shrugged.

Frost chuckled as he shook his head, finishing his clean up in record time.

"Fair enough. I'm gonna go now… before I, you know… again," Frost looked guiltily toward the floor and Maura decided to ease him of his worries.

"Not to worry, detective. Repulsion to vomit - vomit on a corpse in particular - is natural. Especially given your history of dealing with the dead," Maura spoke as kindly as she could and Jane chortled.

"Okay there, Dr. Phil..." Jane teased and Maura smacked her in the stomach.

"I watched that show once, Jane! Once!" Maura defended herself. She hadn't even watched it on purpose… not really.

"Right, well… in any case, I'm out." Frost smiled kindly at Maura and waved at Jane before he left, bumping into Susie as she entered the morgue. "Oh, uh… sorry. Chang, right?" Frost asked.

"Susie," she corrected him and then blushed. Maura watched the exchange curiously. Barry laughed nervously before he responded.

"Well, I guess you can call me Barold then, Barry, I mean," Frost stuttered out. Jane leaned in to whisper in Maura's ear.

"Looks like _Barold_ might have a thing for your senior criminalist," Jane snarked and Maura shushed her.

"Okay, well I'll see you around, Barry." Susie grinned and walked into the lab.

"Yeah, see you later, Barold!" Jane called after him and Maura pinched her arm. "Maura!"

"You be nice," Maura warned as Susie approached them with a coffee.

"Coffee, as promised. It's hot." Susie smiled.

"What other kind is there?" Jane sassed and Maura gave a warning look to Susie so the criminalist would keep quiet about Karly's prank from that morning. She didn't want to worry Jane or make her fight with any of her friends.

"Thank you, Susie, I appreciate it." Maura smiled. "Now that I have actual work to do, I'll need it."

"Anytime, Maura." Susie waved off. "I don't want to distract you from the bodies, I know you like to prep for autopsy alone, doctor Isles." Susie gestured to the back of the lab and left to go work.

"Hey, Maur, I have a dentist appointment tomorrow after work, can you take me? I'm gonna be loopy on drugs and I _really_ don't want to say anything weird to Ma." Jane joked.

"Of course." Maura nodded.

"Thanks. See you later, Maur," Jane lopsidedly grinned.

"Bye, Jane," Maura smiled as Jane left the room. Maura began the routine she had in place for beginning an autopsy. She gave herself completely over to her work and, although it was always sad that human beings died for her to do her job, she had to admit that she enjoyed rifling through the various foods that were partially digested in the three mens' stomachs. She ignored the comings and goings of the lab techs and focused solely on her work. She analyzed, confirmed the presence of poison, and began the process of narrowing down where the poison came from. It took the majority of her workday but in the end, she found what she needed. She carefully closed the final body and moved to her office to type up the results so Jane could close the case.

Upon her desk was a gift basket - weaved and fraying wood with clear plastic wrap tied around it. She warily approached, concerned that it was another prank, and carefully pulled the note from the plastic wrap.

' _Doctor Isles,_

_I'm sorry that I assumed that what Kitty Vansen said on the news was true. I realize now that it was stupid and immature of me. I should take a leaf out of your book and learn how_ _not_ _to guess. You've never been anything but polite and kind to me, and I'm sorry I was such a jerk. Coffee is on me for the rest of the month._

_-Karly_

Maura read the note a few times to make sure what she read was correct. She looked into the basket and noted a bottle of one of her favourite wines, several healthy treats from her favourite organic grocer and smiled at the sight of fudge clusters. If there was one way to win her forgiveness, it was fudge clusters. She made a mental note to thank Karly for the basket but explain that she understood that the barista was simply trying to protect Jane.

Maura typed up her report and ate the chocolate from the gift basket. She wondered what made Karly have a change of heart but pushed the thought to the back of her mind so that she could focus on her work. She printed her report after reading it over to make sure there were no errors and tucked it into a file for Jane, along with the lab results for what food the poison came from. As she stepped off of the elevator on the bullpen's floor, she heard yelling and she froze.

"Which one of you idiots is the calculator culprit?" She heard Jane ask loudly and then she heard Korsak.

"Do any of you seriously think the Doc would do anything to hurt Jane? Or any of you, for that matter? She brings spiders outside instead of killing them, for Christ's sake!"

"Yeah, and she smuggles donuts from Jerry's into the lounge for us when she knows we're all working a tough case." Frankie piped up. "What? Did you guys think a donut fairy was behind it? No, it was Maura, who does it secretly because she doesn't want any recognition. She's just nice."

"Has doctor Isles ever been unkind to anyone in this whole building?" Frost asked, gaining a response of awkward shuffling noises and a few murmurings in the negative. "Exactly, and someone thought it was a good idea to bully her? What the hell?"

"I know it was probably done out of solidarity," Jane began, "but I don't need anyone trying to make a point to Maura about this. She didn't do anything wrong. That photo was taken completely out of context, and even if it wasn't she _still_ doesn't deserve to be bullied at work. She's the best thing that ever happened to the BPD, and to me, so you'll all leave her the hell alone from now on, or so help me…" Jane trailed off.

"Okay, Rizzoli. You will all treat doctor Isles with the respect and courtesy that she gives everyone or you'll have me to deal with," Maura was surprised to hear Cavanaugh speak. He wasn't even technically her boss. She worked with him, but for the governor. "She's probably going to donate those damned calculators to underprivileged kids or something."

Maura decided she ought to interrupt the scolding and she stepped a little harder than she otherwise would so that the people in the bullpen would hear her heels click against the floor. She rounded the corner with a genuine smile, grateful that she had people willing to stand up for her. She faltered slightly at the number of people in the room. Detectives and officers alike shifted nervously but smiled at her. She politely smiled back at them like she normally would and approached Jane's desk cluster. She smiled slightly wider as her friends tried to inconspicuously go back to their seats and look normal.

"Your results, detective," she handed the file over to Jane who opened it and sat in her desk chair. Maura leaned on the corner of Jane's desk as Jane read over the report.

"I knew it." Jane smirked as she read the report. "We were right, Frost, it _was_ the chana masala. I told you that guy had a weird look in his eyes."

"You can't arrest someone for murder because he gave you a weird look," Korsak argued from his desk.

"Yeah, well I _should_ have. Now I have to go back out and bring this guy in when I could have just listened to my gut the whole time," Jane sassed.

"Intestines do not talk, Jane," Maura teased and Jane playfully scowled at her.

"Fine. My _instincts_ were right, then," Jane sassed. "Thanks, Maur. You're the best."

"The best thing that ever happened to you?" Maura leaned in and murmured so that only Jane could hear. Jane blushed as she realized that Maura had heard them defending her. Maura quirked an eyebrow flirtatiously and shimmied her shoulder before she pushed off of the desk. "See you later, detectives," she called over her shoulder and as she walked away, she knew Jane's eyes followed her every step. As bad days go, this was one of the best ones she'd ever had and it was all because of Jane.

**Author's Note:**

> as stated above, this is posted in its entirety on ff.net, but like. I wrote it almost a year ago and I like to think I've grown since then lmao. So you can read it all, but also, I'm kinda changing it as it's posted here so you'll be reading a crappier version on ff ahaha. Do what makes you happy! I am but a humble fic writer in these trying times.


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